I've only been smoking for around 9 months, for the first time in February. Started out with one or two hits a day. Worked up to 9 hits in one sitting, and determined that was too much. Went down to 6 hits in the morning, then wasn't enough to last all day so started smoking at work; 6 hits in the morning, three or four more throughout the day. Except for every once in a while, I slept every night and ate 2 meals a day, and have always drank lots of water.
Every once in a while, maybe once every two months, I would end up having what I call "episodes" during which I would be bedridden for anywhere from a couple to several days, severely nauseated, fatigued, and weak, until I finally end up throwing up until there's nothing left to throw up, then dry heaving, spitting, coughing, choking, until foam comes out, then it's finally over, weak for a day or two, then start feeling back to normal. I have chalked it up to having smoked too much, and so dialed it back to no more than 4 hits a day, in the morning, and was going like that, with no problems, for a few months.
Then, maybe 2 months ago, I was feeling really good, looking forward to a three day weekend, thought, fuck it, I've got three days to rest, let's get high. I had already taken 3 or 4 hits in the morning and took 3 or 4 more. I felt really good. Until the next day. Again, "throw up episode." Luckily, it coincidentally lasted only 3 days. This time, however, when I was over the throwing up episode, I still felt higher than a kite. I didn't smoke anything for 5 days, because I still felt high and kept waiting for it to clear out of my system and get back to normal. Finally, after the fifth day, I realized I was feeling high in my head, complete with ears ringing, but was craving the physical effects and warm feeling. So I decided to try 1 hit. Since then, the past several weeks, this is how it has been. I haven't been able to keep up with a consistent journal, so I'll start this scenario on Wednesday. Took 2 small hits in the morning; nothing else till Friday. Even after 48 hours clean, I couldn't sleep. I was just laying there feeling like hammered dog shit. I had to do something. I am having extreme difficulty getting my hands on any type of benzo, seroquel, etc. My searches return mixed results on whether I should or should not smoke pot, cbd, drink beer, use kratom, so I'm pretty much afraid to try any of that. So, there I was, feeling really, really, really bad. Saturday morning, 3 a.m., I decided to take 2 small hits, figuring it would be enough to make me feel at least slightly better in the moment, and get me through the rest of the day, but wouldn't be so much it would make me sick, and wouldn't be so much it would keep me from sleeping the night coming up. Feel ok, all day, till around 3 p.m. Then, I started feeling extremely dizzy, and hand-eye coordination became extremely faulty. I thought I might have to leave work early, because I was losing my balance and fumbling with keys. Finally I got a break. I had a snack, water, and sat down for an hour and a half with my eyes closed. When I got back up, I was able to finish the rest of the day. Didn't smoke anything until Monday, at 7 a.m. The entire 52 hours, I do not feel I came down one iota. Ears ringing, dizzy, digestive system churning out liquidy stools and gas, severe sleepiness but inability to sleep in more than one hour spurts approximately every 6 hours, not really a headache but a feeling of pressure behind my eyes that made me want to keep them closed. My pupils were not dilated, I was not nauseated, I had no pain, no anxiety, heart beat was normal. Only thing I felt was slightly feverish, but registered no temperature.
Didn't smoke for another 48 hours, Wednesday morning, took one hit, but We'll fast forward a few days, because on Thursday I tested positive for Covid.
Didn't smoke anything for 5 days, until Tuesday. Was feeling like I was over Covid (I was vaccinated and then had Regeneron treatment), but woke up with a bad headache, like the way I used to feel back when I had a severe addiction to coffee and would miss a cup, so decided to see if one or two hits would ease that up, which 2 hits did. Felt really good all day. Woke up on Wednesday, feeling extremely sleepy. Didn't want to sleep all day, so took one hit. That evening, went to the movies. Realized I was having trouble walking, maintaining my balance. Couldn't stay awake at the movie, and slept for all but maybe 30 minutes of Gucci, a 2 1/2 hour movie. I'm due to go back to work December 4; no way can I show up losing my balance, wobbling my head around, fumbling with keys, so I determined not to smoke again till I figure out what the fuck is going on.
So here I am, approximately 80 hours clean. Woke up today, not feeling half bad, but again extremely sleepy, not wanting to sleep all day, so had another cup of coffee. Now, I feel as if I have not even stopped smoking at all, like I have been smoking every day, except I do not feel bad, as you do when you actually smoke every day and end up having no choice but to come down because you intoxify yourself. I just feel higher than a kite, ears ringing, wobbing head, loss of balance, but, as of right now, not feverish, no headache, no gastric issues going on. I'm just still higher than a kite!
Thoughts?
Every once in a while, maybe once every two months, I would end up having what I call "episodes" during which I would be bedridden for anywhere from a couple to several days, severely nauseated, fatigued, and weak, until I finally end up throwing up until there's nothing left to throw up, then dry heaving, spitting, coughing, choking, until foam comes out, then it's finally over, weak for a day or two, then start feeling back to normal. I have chalked it up to having smoked too much, and so dialed it back to no more than 4 hits a day, in the morning, and was going like that, with no problems, for a few months.
Then, maybe 2 months ago, I was feeling really good, looking forward to a three day weekend, thought, fuck it, I've got three days to rest, let's get high. I had already taken 3 or 4 hits in the morning and took 3 or 4 more. I felt really good. Until the next day. Again, "throw up episode." Luckily, it coincidentally lasted only 3 days. This time, however, when I was over the throwing up episode, I still felt higher than a kite. I didn't smoke anything for 5 days, because I still felt high and kept waiting for it to clear out of my system and get back to normal. Finally, after the fifth day, I realized I was feeling high in my head, complete with ears ringing, but was craving the physical effects and warm feeling. So I decided to try 1 hit. Since then, the past several weeks, this is how it has been. I haven't been able to keep up with a consistent journal, so I'll start this scenario on Wednesday. Took 2 small hits in the morning; nothing else till Friday. Even after 48 hours clean, I couldn't sleep. I was just laying there feeling like hammered dog shit. I had to do something. I am having extreme difficulty getting my hands on any type of benzo, seroquel, etc. My searches return mixed results on whether I should or should not smoke pot, cbd, drink beer, use kratom, so I'm pretty much afraid to try any of that. So, there I was, feeling really, really, really bad. Saturday morning, 3 a.m., I decided to take 2 small hits, figuring it would be enough to make me feel at least slightly better in the moment, and get me through the rest of the day, but wouldn't be so much it would make me sick, and wouldn't be so much it would keep me from sleeping the night coming up. Feel ok, all day, till around 3 p.m. Then, I started feeling extremely dizzy, and hand-eye coordination became extremely faulty. I thought I might have to leave work early, because I was losing my balance and fumbling with keys. Finally I got a break. I had a snack, water, and sat down for an hour and a half with my eyes closed. When I got back up, I was able to finish the rest of the day. Didn't smoke anything until Monday, at 7 a.m. The entire 52 hours, I do not feel I came down one iota. Ears ringing, dizzy, digestive system churning out liquidy stools and gas, severe sleepiness but inability to sleep in more than one hour spurts approximately every 6 hours, not really a headache but a feeling of pressure behind my eyes that made me want to keep them closed. My pupils were not dilated, I was not nauseated, I had no pain, no anxiety, heart beat was normal. Only thing I felt was slightly feverish, but registered no temperature.
Didn't smoke for another 48 hours, Wednesday morning, took one hit, but We'll fast forward a few days, because on Thursday I tested positive for Covid.
Didn't smoke anything for 5 days, until Tuesday. Was feeling like I was over Covid (I was vaccinated and then had Regeneron treatment), but woke up with a bad headache, like the way I used to feel back when I had a severe addiction to coffee and would miss a cup, so decided to see if one or two hits would ease that up, which 2 hits did. Felt really good all day. Woke up on Wednesday, feeling extremely sleepy. Didn't want to sleep all day, so took one hit. That evening, went to the movies. Realized I was having trouble walking, maintaining my balance. Couldn't stay awake at the movie, and slept for all but maybe 30 minutes of Gucci, a 2 1/2 hour movie. I'm due to go back to work December 4; no way can I show up losing my balance, wobbling my head around, fumbling with keys, so I determined not to smoke again till I figure out what the fuck is going on.
So here I am, approximately 80 hours clean. Woke up today, not feeling half bad, but again extremely sleepy, not wanting to sleep all day, so had another cup of coffee. Now, I feel as if I have not even stopped smoking at all, like I have been smoking every day, except I do not feel bad, as you do when you actually smoke every day and end up having no choice but to come down because you intoxify yourself. I just feel higher than a kite, ears ringing, wobbing head, loss of balance, but, as of right now, not feverish, no headache, no gastric issues going on. I'm just still higher than a kite!
Thoughts?
