• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

Trigger Warning Which drugs have had the worse effect on your mental health that were hardest to quit?

Breh, the internet has been becoming more and more censored for a long time now. I remember when you could look at gore on Reddit, it was like they hunted all those subs down in under a month. Any dissent from "THE NARRATIVE" (even if it's a slight difference of opinion) can get you shadowbanned or just straight terminated. Those changes to their API scheme that killed off independent forks like Joey on Android were another huge misstep. I use it as sparingly as possible and usually for specific info I can't source elsewhere.

554
 
I was never addicted to coke but i did like my IV coke abit to much at times. I had probably 2 seizures ( i only went to the hospital for one) from shooting a 3rd of a gram of really good coke at a time. I just wanted to get higher.

When i quit after my dealer stopped selling, my other dealer died and also because of coke cut with fent here i kept getting coke dreams it fucking sucked. Even to this day i sometimes get them and its been like almost 2 years since ive used coke last. I wasent even a addict so id hate to see what someone actually addicted to the stuff would get
 
MantisGod said:
Breh, the internet has been becoming more and more censored for a long time now. I remember when you could look at gore on Reddit, it was like they hunted all those subs down in under a month. Any dissent from "THE NARRATIVE" (even if it's a slight difference of opinion) can get you shadowbanned or just straight terminated. Those changes to their API scheme that killed off independent forks like Joey on Android were another huge misstep. I use it as sparingly as possible and usually for specific info I can't source elsewhere.

554
Click to expand...

Eryximachus said:
I decided that overall, drugs had a net negative on my life. Benzos seriously impact your judgement. Stimulants make me clinically insane. Alcohol leads to poor judgement. Psych drugs, which I'm still on, destroy your drive. Anabolic steroids caused mania for me. Overall, judgment is the key. These drugs affect your decisions, often for the worst. This is a subtle thing that often isn't apparent until you really analyze your life in detail. Worse, there are personality/cognitive PAWS type effects that persist even when you're clean for a few months. It took a year off benzos for my cognition to really return to normal (for me).

I stayed off BL for the first year. I'm on here to try and help, but I'm not sure if it does much. I don't read the other subforums on drug use, I'm just done with that. It's sad corporate Reddit has taken over forums; I wish more people came here. I've come to despise Reddit personally.
Click to expand...
Man, you do help. It’s very helpful to find others who have similiar obstacles to overcome and have and are overcoming them.

I did ask my doctor about tegretol as you suggested but for whatever reason he was unwilling and only offered me three meds to choose from “risperadone, ability, or one other I forgot but I don’t like APs usually. Abilify might be okay but vraykar caused me to be very aggressive, and couldn’t stop moving such as pacing, and hyper sexuality, and mostly it was the extreme irritability and aggression. I turned into super gangster low life Juice lol.

Seriously tho I’m lucky I didn’t get killed. I was an asshole I’m that med and didn’t have any tolerance for disrespect at all. And by that I mean misperceived disrespect. It usually was just me being crazy. As soon as I came off it ( I took myself off it because I snapped on my mom and I’ve never done that in all my 41 years even never cussed at my mom) I just went off on her by the way and to be fair she did say I was lying about my dad abusing me just like she did when I told her as a kid so yeah I lost it and I’m at a restraint at that. So embarrassing. And of course I’m the bad guy.

Anyway, I CT that shit. Fuck that.

So I’m hesitant to try another AP tho abilify was fine in the past I still wonder if maybe my biochemistry has changed and it will do that again.

Anyhow, I’m getting off topic. I just wanted to say man that you have been very helpful to me and i have weighed and am still considering some of your key points. So please, it may not look like much but it means the world to me and I’m sure others read what you say and probably find some helpful things but you do t know because they don’t post.
 
Juicewrldfan said:
Abilify might be okay but vraykar caused me to be very aggressive, and couldn’t stop moving such as pacing, and hyper sexuality, and mostly it was the extreme irritability and aggression. I turned into super gangster low life Juice lol.
Click to expand...
Honestly, I think all antipsychotics can do this. Even Seroquel did this to me, but I was on too low of a dose for many years. I guess I wasn't irritable, but everything else was true. I'm down to 50mg per night, and I'm feeling more "normal". I tried the proper dose of 200mg in the morning and evening in October/November, and it did seem to work better so far as mood, but I did not feel healthy.

Also, over the past 7 years since I started Seroquel, I had way too many stimulant/cocaine moments. I started Seroquel May 2017, and I hadn't done cocaine or amphetamine for a decade or more.
 
Conventional: oxymorph

Rc: some opioid from china that was super caustic... krokodil it might as well been... forgot the name of it... wasn't the AM stuff but similar... had me shooting every 2 hours.
 
Alcohol for sure I terms of mental health. Very difficult to quit when you are dependent too. Heroin is hard but doable, especially with opioid replacement therapy if you really want to quit. Benzos too, mostly in terms of memory and whatnot. But alcohol ranks highest for me in terms of mental health, how much of a cunt it can turn a person into, how sick it makes you when you are actually drinking all the time and the w/ds are fucking hellish, also potentially lethal in a similar way to benzos (two drugs from which you can die as a result of w/ds without serious care). Also never my thing but crack is a horrible drug and I've seen it ruin people, same with coke itself. And "spice" was fucking people up (synthetic cannabinoids which got more and more potent and harmful after the NPA).
 
Worst effect on me mentally would probably be over indulging in benzos, blackouts lead mistakes being made, sometimes tragic.

Alcohol (friends drinking and driving my drunk ass, leading to 4 serious rolled accidents), almost took my life many times in my much younger years.

Opioids which I'm still at it pretty good..I wouldn't say my mental health per se but when I decide or forced to quit, I am a depressed mess when it comes to doing every day life stuff, simple stuff..like seeing how you have no clean clothes and need to do laundry alone would depress the shit out of me, along with the anxiety before, during, & after the torture during withdrawal..but I admit going through the sickness is also enlightening in it's own way, if only it didn't take weeks to physically get back on track or months from PAWS. Really need to find a fucking cure, someone ask AI to figure out a new recipe, they can call it the artificial beneficial intelligence recipe.
 
Opana313 said:
Really need to find a fucking cure, someone ask AI to figure out a new recipe, they can call it the artificial beneficial intelligence recipe.
Click to expand...
If this happens I will be so grateful to have been born lmao. Or maybe they find a way in the future to synthesize a new compound that doesn't become physically addictive? I try to keep that in mind when I'm depressed, whole classes of drugs were discovered just 60 years ago (Arylcyclohexylamines) so who knows what the future holds?
 
There was an extremely silly way I went about detoxing from both heroin and benzos back in February of 2018. I had said to my self, "Endless, enough is enough. Exile the aule self to the room and just rough it out for 10 days." Thing was, I wasn't eating, sleeping and definitely wasn't drinking enough water. Upon the approach of 10 days, I was hallucinating. A friend of mine called to the door to use my phone, and after I reached out to hand it to him I fainted, hit my head and had a seizure. Abulance was called for and following a trip to A&E, then lying on a gurnie for 3 days I was admitted to the psych ward. They thought I was having a psychotic episode until the psychologist came around to me and asked me if I knew where I was and why I was here. I explained what I had gone through as regards cold-turkey from benzos and heroin and with a sigh of relief he said "Oh...oh ok, so that's fine and so will you be. We thought it was something else entirely. You get plenty of rest and someone will be around to you later." A nurse came around and gave me 20mgs of Diazepam each evening and I eventually left with a precription for benzos and Methadone. Now, I originally refused the methadone because at the point that I was asked I was well out of withdrawals and I was quite energetic and stable on my feet, chatting to nurses etc. -- however, I promised my father I would go on the methadone for a short time and a small dose (20mls) which I was fortunately able to get on and off within 3 months.

The constant withdrawals at least once a week do take a toll on you no doubt about that.
 
Opana313 said:
Worst effect on me mentally would probably be over indulging in benzos, blackouts lead mistakes being made, sometimes tragic.

Alcohol (friends drinking and driving my drunk ass, leading to 4 serious rolled accidents), almost took my life many times in my much younger years.

Opioids which I'm still at it pretty good..I wouldn't say my mental health per se but when I decide or forced to quit, I am a depressed mess when it comes to doing every day life stuff, simple stuff..like seeing how you have no clean clothes and need to do laundry alone would depress the shit out of me, along with the anxiety before, during, & after the torture during withdrawal..but I admit going through the sickness is also enlightening in it's own way, if only it didn't take weeks to physically get back on track or months from PAWS. Really need to find a fucking cure, someone ask AI to figure out a new recipe, they can call it the artificial beneficial intelligence recipe.
Click to expand...

I dont know about a 'cure' (although Burroughs did mention a method in 'Junkie'), but have you tried Lyrica? Got me through the acutes several times including this kick, and is getting me through the PAWS. I'm still taking Benzos but not much and I'm tapering down. My method is Lyrica (pregabalin, 400mgs p/d). Now that should initially knock you out for the first 3-4 days and then it acts almost like a stimulant (but its not a stimulant).
 
Without a doubt alcohol.

Longest struggle

Worst withdrawal

Worst effects on the body

Worst effects on relationship

Worst effects on judgment

Worst cravings

All in all, just a horrible fucking drug
 
Benzos and speed together. They make a person like a whole another different person, cold, manipulative, cruel, disrespectful, acting like a toddler at times (getting tantrums and raging around for no big reason), arrogant, paranoid and aggressive. Those were the worst combination for me. For years. Never again. And sadly i have seen and known many other persons with that same combo to become total assholes, selfish and deceitful.
Speed makes you arrogant, aggressive, paranoid, delusional, and with benzos abused (they make you just don't give a shit about anything at all, no feelings) that makes really bad to a person.

For me the hardest to quit was stimulants. I used the to the point for so long, i cannot use them at all, not for a bit. It was not hard physically, only maybe a week very achy, shaky and exhausted, but thats it. Psychological dependence was a way different beast to beat. And I was losing that battle, badly. Until I was mental wreck and ready to die and giving up. Which is a good thing, i don't like the mindstate or effects of stims anyway, not without benzos and that is a recipe for a disaster. I never really liked stims, not really. I used them only because there was no better option available.

Second hardest were benzos. I heavily used them for years, and physically it took almost 7 months to get back to normal again. Horrible insomnia, panic attacks, i Lost too much weight, had severe paranoia and anxiety, but they passed, i'm glad they did.
Nowadays I can take benzos as a medicine, not abusing them, i have no reason to abuse benzos anymore. And while I say abusing them, i mean big doses (6-12mg clonazepam daily, 50-100mg diazepam daily, 40mg temazepam daily, this was my 4years struggle, before those years I "only" took 40mg temazepam, 60mg oxazepam and occasionally clonazepam daily for 2years).

I have been denpendent on opioids (Tramadol, Buprenorphine), but they were a piece of cake to quit comparing to benzos. I have also been abusing lyrica/Gabapentin heavily back in the days, but never got severe withdrawals from them.
 
For me it was antidepressants (Sertaline and the likes) plus three or so weeks of quetiapine which made my "going through a rough patch" a total hell. And me a compete mess as they switched off my natural techniques to help me survive in the modern social world, and to keep my energy balance. When I was rediagnosed (I am not depressive) I had to do all the taper thing and even then it took me fours years to get back to 3/4 of what I was. Being on that stuff made me almost an invalid.

Now I have a definite benzo dependance, but that's not something I want to quit. Just learning how to manage it so it won't get out of hand and have someday to *really* bother with serious addiction/withdrawals.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top