Where's the love gone?

[Zon]

I've been taking a few pills per year for the last 6 or 7 years, mostly with my girlfriend. Although I must say it is never quite the same as the early years. Not just the physical effect, in fact I don't think it "feels" that different from the 3rd time I ever took to the 30th time, but I feel like I am different.

I used to be super emotional, loving, touchy-feely, all those things. Got up to some pretty crazy stuff back in those first few years, often ended up in a naked cuddle puddle or something alike. It was awesome These days though I just feel a lot less confident when rolling, and a lot less desire to tell people all my secrets and bond with them. I still have some desire to be social, but at the same time also feel a bit shy and nervous to start up a conversation with someone I don't/barely know. My girlfriend also seems less empathetic than before. She was never as touchy as me and always preferred dancing alone to the music but still we would have some nice bonding moments with each other and our friends, but lately she becomes completely anti social, sticks her hood up and just dances alone in a dark corner.

One thing I have noticed is that the very few times (twice) we had pure mdma we felt much more empathy, could just be pure coincidence or is there some connection there?

I don't think we have a high tolerance, I always wait months between each roll and have been higher recently than ever before, but still not felt the love.

So how can we increase/bring back this empathy that we have lost? Is it the chemicals that are affecting us differently, or maybe we are the ones changing as people?

Would love to hear the opinions of the people on here.

 

[Thanos90]

You/she lost serotonin and that affects your/her feelings,take a break from all drugs until your body balance again serotonin.Stay healthy and exercise every day

 

[Bearlove]

It has been repeated several times by experienced users that the newer pills, especially a lot of the 'super' pills / mdma lack empathy (lovely touchy feely high) - I highly doubt that all these users simply 'lost the magic' at the same time so we are assuming it is down to the precursors being used.

Bearlove

 

[szuko000]

I know at least part of it is subjective experience. That is minor things like your day at work, the fact your mother upset you, or you didnt sleep that well can all effect the experience.

Also heath effects a part of it as T90 said, you have to make sure you are putting appropriate spacing between all drug use. Understand how all drugs effect you (even things you wouldnt expect like methadone) can change the experience in ways.

I have noticed that i dont get the eye wiggles and stuff like i use to and its hard to put an exact feeling on it, although i very well could as in right this second i havent rolled since Feb. My girl and i were both on 90mg of methadone and never got to the point we wanted and it kinda put a damper on it. It was still good but not "totally super awesome" like it was before life got so chaotic.

Also i know its simply the best, tested 3 ways to sunday and it looks like the best and i have been told its the best, yet my girlfriend and i both could swear by her brothers behavior (like seriously thanking us for making his evening magical) its almost unbelievable its the same substance we took. And please note i am not trying to brag here just offer an idea, it was weird to know this has to be *that* good yet our experience was so mediocre that one night we over did it a bit and crashed HARD

I use to joke that timing and measure were everything, in order to get it to work the way you want proper planning is essential because my rolling experiences often didnt measure up to the memory for one reason or another. I still enjoyed them and will in the future but i too cant tell if its nostalgia or what. I am hoping once we get passed this part of our lives and roll again it will be like i remember. God it was only 5 years ago that i couldnt control myself around molly now its like i cant find the time or desire to do it. I want the experience to be awesome so i guess i have just been waiting for something that will size up to the memory. Maybe we are getting old LOL

 

[giovanni557]

No men if I were you I would not take more pills anymore and your girl and you already showing some symptoms of the dark side of this drug is not worth it from my personal experience not honestly.. try to go out with friends play sports and stay safe.

 

[szuko000]

He does state he "takes a few pills a year" which leads me to believe that they do practice some restraint and keep it to once a month at least or the wording may be different. I agree that some of the symptoms seem like abuse but if the pattern of use is less then once a month it's possible it's lost its magic but isn't causing negative effects on sober life.

I am not saying don't practice caution I am saying I read it like my previous experience was, nothing like how I remember yet it had been a while and the stuff was good. Granted he says it's more then once and mine was only a one time mundane experience. I think it's not always abuse that makes experience change.

 

[Innerpeace]

i got the best feeling the first time and second time four days later was awesome. times 3-30 felt good, and i was abusing so after about time 20 i wasnt getting much of anything, these were when pills were good back in 2000-2001.

Shulgin did say after 10 x's the magic dissappears. I disagree thugh because i tried a break of a couple months tried again, , more breaks tried again then said eff it. waited thirteen years, yes thirteen and I got the magic back 100% -that said I got crazy side effects=and this was off of what was supposed to be 5-mapb-i tested it on all regeants tests (5 of them) and i thinkit as 5=eapb..ended up throwing it otu bc out of all the times i did mdma..i never got side effects like these=====

waited three months tried 5-mapb again again--nope, waited again-nope. so my first time was supper special, second time really awesome-after that never felt it that much==except after tok a thirteen year break.... Many people that are older have learned 4-6 month seems to be optimal for them with the average being about once every six months-some people its once a year so just take a long ass break and try again. been like 4-5months for me and dont really pan on trying anytime son.. if I can truley get that magically feeling first time I did it ill wait and experiment once every six months or once a year.....and see if it can be done. id rather wait and get that feeling just once than feel good but not get to that feeling I once felt-its worth the wait for me

 

[Zon]

No no, I am definitely not abusing it, like I said I only use a few times a year, waiting several months between each time so I don't think that is the reason, and I don't think waiting any longer than 4-5 months between rolls will make much difference. I was wondering if it is some difference in the chemicals I am using, which is usually ecstasy straight out of Holland.

Also I find this interesting but I have not found that my phyiscal condition or mood before taking has any effect, in fact some of the best times were after having a really shitty day and maybe the contrast of the bad day made the good times seem even better.

I think the atmosphere that I take it in can make a huge difference though, I think I am taking it mostly in clubs lately and maybe the massive stimulation of super loud techno in a dark club takes over and distracts from the love element of the experience. What do other people think about that? Maybe I should try in a house party with a bunch of good friends, or maybe a smaller group. Actually I feel the smaller groups of 4-6 people in a private space were the most emotional...

Am also thinking to try preloading 5-htp, I've heard rumors that it brings back the magic if done more than 24 hours before a roll but never had enough planning to try. Anyone have experience trying that?

 

[Broseph Smith]

As BearLove said, the change to synthetic precursors used now seems to correlate with the same time frame that the masses mentioned the loss of love.

 

[Kerensky]

If you have access in your country to a service that can test pills ... maybe worth submitting some to see if you have the real thing?

 

[BlueBull]

It has been repeated several times by experienced users that the newer pills, especially a lot of the 'super' pills / mdma lack empathy (lovely touchy feely high) - I highly doubt that all these users simply 'lost the magic' at the same time so we are assuming it is down to the precursors being used.

Bearlove

Up until three months ago I was a strong proponent of the "MDMA is MDMA" side of the argument. THought I had lost the magic for years already, years during which I always rolled on the well-known Dutch pills. Then two months ago I came across completely unknown pills, tested ok with a testkit and judging by the effects around 150mg. They blew my head off, it was just like my first few times, an almost boundless love for the entire world. So yeah, I'm having serious doubts now as well, the difference was so profound it could have been a completely other drug

 

[Bearlove]

Up until three months ago I was a strong proponent of the "MDMA is MDMA" side of the argument. THought I had lost the magic for years already, years during which I always rolled on the well-known Dutch pills. Then two months ago I came across completely unknown pills, tested ok with a testkit and judging by the effects around 150mg. They blew my head off, it was just like my first few times, an almost boundless love for the entire world. So yeah, I'm having serious doubts now as well, the difference was so profound it could have been a completely other drug

A lot of the Dutch pills (high dose) just leave you fkd, it's MDMA but of pretty low grade or made with inferior precursors - there are however a few pressers that are making classic pills/MDMA that literally blows these 'super pills' out of the water with terms of effects. It's amazing when they tick all the boxes and just leave you flying high in love with everything

 

[Innerpeace]

I think the atmosphere that I take it in can make a huge difference though, I think I am taking it mostly in clubs lately and maybe the massive stimulation of super loud techno in a dark club takes over and distracts from the love element of the experience. What do other people think about that? Maybe I should try in a house party with a bunch of good friends, or maybe a smaller group. Actually I feel the smaller groups of 4-6 people in a private space were the most emotional...

Am also thinking to try preloading 5-htp, I've heard rumors that it brings back the magic if done more than 24 hours before a roll but never had enough planning to try. Anyone have experience trying that?

atmosphere is huge. I recommend trying it with a girl you re intimate with, do massages, showers, etc

dont do 5-htp, preloading would lessen the roll and i used to be huge on 5-htp post , but not anymore. i expirienced massive side effects amd could have been because of 5-htp afterwards mixing with egcg as it causes 5-htp to cross brain blood barrier more readily. just dont even bother with 5-htp if you take enough breaks you need not worry about 5-htp

A lot of the Dutch pills (high dose) just leave you fkd, it's MDMA but of pretty low grade or made with inferior precursors - there are however a few pressers that are making classic pills/MDMA that literally blows these 'super pills' out of the water with terms of effects. It's amazing when they tick all the boxes and just leave you flying high in love with everything

my first pills were dutch pills from around tampa or Miami back in 2000 and omg they were so strong im guessing 150-200 mgs a pill-could be wrong- comparing all the times i did ecstacy pills , they were the strongest or maybe it was just my first time and second time rolling. smiley faces if i remember right and double or triple stacks. never came across anything like them since. i wouldnt be surprised if they were mixed with a bunch of stuff that ended up feeling amazing

its been over fifteen years since first time =-)

 

[Bearlove]

My first pills were dutch pills from around tampa or Miami back in 2000 and omg they were so strong im guessing 150-200 mgs a pill-could be wrong- comparing all the times i did ecstacy pills , they were the strongest or maybe it was just my first time and second time rolling. smiley faces if i remember right and double or triple stacks. never came across anything like them since. i wouldnt be surprised if they were mixed with a bunch of stuff that ended up feeling amazing

its been over fifteen years since first time =-)

Sorry I should have been a bit clearer with my post - when I mentioned 'Dutch Pills' I was referring to the newer stuff, normally super high dosed and offered for sale around the web etc. Hard to describe what pills I'm talking about but a lot of people refer to them as 'Dutch pills' but that doesn't mean all pills from Holland etc

My first drop was in the late 80's when Ecstasy started to hit the clubs etc - still haven't lost the magic

Bear