Where is the cannabis forum?

[Stephy]

I don't think you degraded me. I noticed an emotional response and decided that I wasn't the right person for you to be speaking with, because when emotions get involved in MY thought processes the conversation will go bad. There's no saving it, there's no talking me down.


Best of luck, Stephy. I hope you get the help and advice you're around. You're always welcome here I did just notice a typo I made...I accidently said MY guilt when I meant MOM guilt....

Well thank you for clarifying that. I'm glad you came back. I'm sorry that happens to you and I thank you for coming back around..... hope you where able to get through that entire long post... sorry I can be long winded sometimes... and a pain sometimes....

I did see a typo of my own on this reread...I wrote MY guilt when I meant MOM guilt.

NOT( My)(should be(MOM)) guilt is WAY WORSE than regular guilt because we try so hard in every way to teach our children well.... to grow up to be a happy, well- rounded, SUSCESSFUL ADULT....and we constantly worry not only about what we screw up, but how our child's life might go to hell in a hand basket through fault of absolutely no one just stupid luck.... me reason to me of why having a village for my son is so important to me. However I respect your views.... I bet your a pretty successful guy compared to me....happy trails!!

 

[emkee_reinvented]

I don't think you degraded me. I noticed an emotional response and decided that I wasn't the right person for you to be speaking with, because when emotions get involved in MY thought processes the conversation will go bad. There's no saving it, there's no talking me down.


Best of luck, Stephy. I hope you get the help and advice you're looking for.

Venting your thought's is enough. Stephy is the one that finally will make the decisions.

And opening your thought's to other's does help. But essentially you can only change and help yourself. We are simply offering support , advice (good or bad) or venting our own experience's.
You btw are a very kind person, otherwise you would not posted these replies

 

[Jibult]

Well thank you for clarifying that. I'm glad you came back. I'm sorry that happens to you and I thank you for coming back around..... hope you where able to get through that entire long post... sorry I can be long winded sometimes... and a pain sometimes....

I did see a typo of my own on this reread...I wrote MY guilt when I meant MOM guilt.

NOT( My)(should be(MOM)) guilt is WAY WORSE than regular guilt because we try so hard in every way to teach our children well.... to grow up to be a happy, well- rounded, SUSCESSFUL ADULT....and we constantly worry not only about what we screw up, but how our child's life might go to hell in a hand basket through fault of absolutely no one just stupid luck.... me reason to me of why having a village for my son is so important to me. However I respect your views.... I bet your a pretty successful guy compared to me....happy trails!!

Success boils down to degrees, I think. While I may be more satisfied with my career (and I'm not even saying that I am, I just know that I'm relatively happy with my job and enjoy the benefits that come with it) I can almost guarantee my social life and emotional intelligence is probably in shambles compared to yours.

It's part of why I enjoy these forums so much.

Venting your thought's is enough. Stephy is the one that finally will make the decisions.

And opening your thought's to other's does help. But essentially you can only change and help yourself. We are simply offering support , advice (good or bad) or venting our own experience's.
You btw are a very kind person, otherwise you would not posted these replies

100%

I'm not here to tell anybody what to do or how to act.

I'll forever maintain sovereignty over how I conduct myself and the people I choose to interact with, however.

I've always felt the best I can offer a person is a perspective they may not yet have considered. "Outside-the-box" thinking. There's something intriguing to me about discovering how a person thinks, how they approach a problem, and then presenting them with a perspective that seems absent from their thought processes.

At the end of the day it seems like I'm a contrarian, but really I'm not trying to go against the grain for the hell of it-- I just like to attack a problem from all angles and then I have fun with thinking of new angles. Before you know it I've been on the fence for three days and still can't figure out which why I lean, then somebody pokes fun or speaks sideways and my already-rattled brain instantly hones in on a new threat that's so much clearer and easier to confront than it is to deal with my chaotic mind.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my anxiety in a nutshell.

(I also want to point out that I think this is a self-growth moment, emkee. I've never put those thoughts into words before. Now that I have and they're sitting here in front of me, i've read over what I just posted countless times in a sort of reverence, just amazed at how true they ring and how, for the first time I've ever experienced, this idea specifically was so clear and simple to write out.

That doesn't happen often, man.)

 

[Stephy]

100%

I'm not here to tell anybody what to do or how to act.

I'll forever maintain sovereignty over how I conduct myself and the people I choose to interact with, however.

I've always felt the best I can offer a person is a perspective they may not yet have considered. "Outside-the-box" thinking. There's something intriguing to me about discovering how a person thinks, how they approach a problem, and then presenting them with a perspective that seems absent from their thought processes.

At the end of the day it seems like I'm a contrarian, but really I'm not trying to go against the grain for the hell of it-- I just like to attack a problem from all angles and then I have fun with thinking of new angles.

AND THIS... MY DEAR..... is the point... the holy grail of why I believe we need a village... you have hit the nail on the head on the wonderful reason the bigger the village, the better the child will learn admittedly sometimes worse not better. But your outside the box opinion and perspective welcomes innovative ideas.

Thanks
Stephanie

 

[Jibult]

AND THIS... MY DEAR..... is the point... the holy grail of why I believe we need a village... you have hit the nail on the head on the wonderful reason the bigger the village, the more the child will learn admittedly sometimes worse not better. But your outside the box opinion and perspective welcomes innovative ideas.

Thanks
Stephanie

I don't think that's relevant. The phrase at hand is referring to raising a child into a productive member of a civilized society.

I think I've reached that milestone, so I'm..... I'm just gonna leave that there and not run with the implication.

But no, I honestly believe that idiom is bullshit. If it were up to the village I would've gone through school in Special Education classes and probably still be on some kind of government assistance program.

We put it in my family's hands, however, and.... well.... my situation's been a bit better than what 12 years of riding the short bus would have foretold. It's still been a rough road and there are a few relatives that have been left a little less wealthy simply due to the fact of my existence, but hey man..... sometimes these life lessons cost a couple uncles' bank accounts form of lawyers, yeah? lmao

[EDIT: As I'm thinking about this, though, I think I need to clear up some possible confusion-- I'm not saying it's shameful to need help! What I mean when I refute this is that I think an intact family unit is more than sufficient to raise a child into a decent human. No more, no less. I'm not talking about baby-sitting and chaperoning, I'm talking about molding the desired morals and ethics into your children.

My problem here isn't that single parents may occasionally need help-- it's clear as day to me that they're going to need help at one point or another given that they're already at a handicap in the fact that they don't have a whole, intact family unit. I'm also not saying that there are no alternatives.

I'm just of the opinion that-- at the bare minimum-- the healthiest environment to raise a child is a home that has two parents.

There are absolutely other ways to raise a child, and I'm not educated enough to debate why they're good or bad. My response is more visceral.]

 

[emkee_reinvented]

100%

I'm not here to tell anybody what to do or how to act.

I'll forever maintain sovereignty over how I conduct myself and the people I choose to interact with, however.

I've always felt the best I can offer a person is a perspective they may not yet have considered. "Outside-the-box" thinking. There's something intriguing to me about discovering how a person thinks, how they approach a problem, and then presenting them with a perspective that seems absent from their thought processes.

At the end of the day it seems like I'm a contrarian, but really I'm not trying to go against the grain for the hell of it-- I just like to attack a problem from all angles and then I have fun with thinking of new angles. Before you know it I've been on the fence for three days and still can't figure out which why I lean, then somebody pokes fun or speaks sideways and my already-rattled brain instantly hones in on a new threat that's so much clearer and easier to confront than it is to deal with my chaotic mind.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my anxiety in a nutshell.

(I also want to point out that I think this is a self-growth moment, emkee. I've never put those thoughts into words before. Now that I have and they're sitting here in front of me, i've read over what I just posted countless times in a sort of reverence, just amazed at how true they ring and how, for the first time I've ever experienced, this idea specifically was so clear and simple to write out.

That doesn't happen often, man.)

Thank's you for sharing this moment with me and everyone else.

Its inspiring, and ring's notes of recognition. Makes me feel like I am not alone. Maybe keeping a diary came up immediatly while reading your text. Saw documentry about Edward Munch who, if I am correct, had year's and year's of his life on paper. Many other's have done this to. But I never got why. But writing does offer an different perspective.

May electricy fall out, and Bluelight end's , our pen written story's still excists. Btw @Stephy I also miss a big part of my tribe. Unnecessary and sad how the world has become in 3 generation's over here. My Granny 97 has witnessed it, the turning point allready on its way.

Lets hope for the next one, i must admit the city I was born in, changed in a good way. In 10 year's time.

 

[emkee_reinvented]

I don't think that's relevant. The phrase at hand is referring to raising a child into a productive member of a civilized society.



[EDIT]: As I'm thinking about this, though, I think I need to clear up some possible confusion-- I'm not saying it's shameful to need help! What I mean when I refute this is that I think an intact family unit is more than sufficient to raise a child into a decent human. No more, no less. I'm not talking about baby-sitting and chaperoning, I'm talking about molding the desired morals and ethics into your children.

My problem here isn't that single parents may occasionally need help-- it's clear as day to me that they're going to need help at one point or another given that they're already at a handicap in the fact that they don't have a whole, intact family unit. I'm also not saying that there are no alternatives.

I'm just of the opinion that-- at the bare minimum-- the healthiest environment to raise a child is a home that has two parents.

I do think it's relevant. And raising a child to become a productive member of a civilized society.

Ok civilizing our society would be a good first step. But raising my kid's to become part of the destructing system you call productive. The ones that change thing's for the better are out numbered. I hope my kid's will be part of the the ones aiming for change. School atm is total crap, I bet a kid could learn at least 4 times as much when left to choice self. And living in a tribe/ community there is alway's a teacher around. One with real life experience.

"the healthiest environment to raise a child is a home that has two parents."
May I extend on that a bit?
Two parent's that are at least mentally/ psychelogically suited for parenting, and work out conflict's among each other, not in front of the kid's. Creating an oiled machine.

Untill recent people lived in group's of about 30/ 40 people. In some area's in the world this evolved in a very connected village like form. Here it evolved into divorced parent's, religion based exclusion, family's seeing each other not even on birthday's, disconnection with a large part of the population and the friend's you lost along the way.

For me a tribe seem's superiour. Though being open to other's help's too.

 

[Jibult]

I do think it's relevant. And raising a child to become a productive member of a civilized society.

Ok civilizing our society would be a good first step. But raising my kid's to become part of the destructing system you call productive. The ones that change thing's for the better are out numbered. I hope my kid's will be part of the the ones aiming for change. School atm is total crap, I bet a kid could learn at least 4 times as much when left to choice self. And living in a tribe/ community there is alway's a teacher around. One with real life experience.

"the healthiest environment to raise a child is a home that has two parents."
May I extend on that a bit?
Two parent's that are at least mentally/ psychelogically suited for parenting, and work out conflict's among each other, not in front of the kid's. Creating an oiled machine.

Untill recent people lived in group's of about 30/ 40 people. In some area's in the world this evolved in a very connected village like form. Here it evolved into divorced parent's, religion based exclusion, family's seeing each other not even on birthday's, disconnection with a large part of the population and the friend's you lost along the way.

For me a tribe seem's superiour. Though being open to other's help's too.

Expand all you want, the core concept remains the same.

I'm tired of this culture of splitting hairs, to be honest.

It's kind of getting to the point where i'm just going to have to repeat the same phrase over and over again.

I honestly thought this conversation was done with. I thought there was nothing new to add, and this hasn't been in my thoughts for quite some time. If you really want to debate why I don't think you need to rely on other people to raise your children, give me a little while to sober up and clear my head and i'll gladly go toe-to-toe against the idea that it's up to teachers and neighbors to fill the role that you're supposed to.

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Expand all you want, the core concept remains the same.

I'm tired of this culture of splitting hairs, to be honest.

It's kind of getting to the point where i'm just going to have to repeat the same phrase over and over again.

I honestly thought this conversation was done with. I thought there was nothing new to add, and this hasn't been in my thoughts for quite some time. If you really want to debate why I don't think you need to rely on other people to raise your children, give me a little while to sober up and clear my head and i'll gladly go toe-to-toe against the idea that it's up to teachers and neighbors to fill the role that you're supposed to.

Fine let's end it, as we probably think the same, Probably something goes wrong during the interpretation. Of each other's post's, I am a bit limited in expressing its not my native language. And my head is a chaos.

And both me and stephy don't see our kid's anyway.

 

[Jibult]

Fine let's end it, as we probably think the same, Probably something goes wrong during the interpretation. Of each other's post's, I am a bit limited in expressing its not my native language. And my head is a chaos.

And both me and stephy don't see our kid's anyway.

I meannnnnnnnnnnn

i really meant to come back, ready to go, hands up and on-guard like

my first question was just why do you think two parents might be inadequate? where might they require help?

but i meannnnnnnnnnnn

we can let this float away. I prefer it. I was surprised it even came back on me. fuck a debate, man, let's just agree to disagree and stay friends

 

[emkee_reinvented]

I meannnnnnnnnnnn

i really meant to come back, ready to go, hands up and on-guard like

my first question was just why do you think two parents might be inadequate? where might they require help?

but i meannnnnnnnnnnn

we can let this float away. I prefer it. I was surprised it even came back on me. fuck a debate, man, let's just agree to disagree and stay friends

Don't under-estimate my 'Crazy Monkey' style.

No not scrolling back, assume I said that. It was based upon something in 'the Children's right's'.
A child has the right on contact with both parent's, with exception's like mental/ psychological, sexual, physical (inc neglect) abuse.

But as a divorced father, assuming I wrote more then two parent's are aquired for adequate care. That has a reason, that is directly related to the situation I am in.
Would I call myself and my ex inadequate, seem's unlightly that's what i ment.

Separation of a kid of one or both, capable, parent's is damaging. Children's Right's rule imo. Only a judge may make such a decision. And in my case that never happened, and stephy I don't if she has visiting right's. The judge gave here custody and him the 2 weekend's/ month vissiting right's.

Weird how her situation just flipped over.

And instead of a two parent situation. Looking back and 'fantazing' i'd rather experiment with a tribal structure group ca. 30/ 50 people, with no forced monogamy among adult's (that also has a personal reason related to the marriage).
Self sufficient, emphatize with each other and equal. But hopefully also some friend's that can guide trough tough times. And bond when its good.

The former real time experiment of my family, "two parent's might be inadequat" is a understatement.

More like two parent's ...... a black page/ closed book. Yes 2 can be damaging too your kid's, just like one or none. Never again a relation with a person with a problem. That's for sure, my kid's love me and seem ok, so till they are 18, I'll keep a line open.

I'll hit you back, do you have a partner, kid/ 's? Before we agree on disagreeing. Nice visual accentuation btw. Corrected it 3 times and translated a lot.

 

[emkee_reinvented]

we can let this float away. I prefer it. I was surprised it even came back on me. fuck a debate, man, let's just agree to disagree and stay friends

Sure you can, but you gave it such a weird spin. Opinion's are not debate's. Why debate anyway with someone who's opinion you don't respect.

Any way you can let it float away, we still be friend's. Its just you loose your debate and ignored your own preference. Tempted to upload my 'FU-CHICKEN' bro. You inspired me to wright a journal, different perspective

 

[MedicinalUser247]

Speaking of spin... The pot I get makes you feel like your on a Ferris Wheel because it's so potent.

 

[Jibult]

Sure you can, but you gave it such a weird spin. Opinion's are not debate's. Why debate anyway with someone who's opinion you don't respect.

Any way you can let it float away, we still be friend's. Its just you loose your debate and ignored your own preference. Tempted to upload my 'FU-CHICKEN' bro. You inspired me to wright a journal, different perspective

"FU_CHICKEN?"

I'm not sure what that means, but I'd like to direct you to a tiny little snippet of yours that, in my opinion, makes the rest of your essay irrelevant. It's the golden nugget that I'm trying to show you, and you've already found it, brother. You held it in your hand and then offered it to me as if it was helping to make your point.

Separation of a kid of one or both, capable, parent's is damaging.

Why do you think that is?

I'm of the opinion that, what you just said? Right there above this? That's another proof positive that the healthiest environment to raise a child is in a home with two parents. I'm gonna go even further and modify that this time thanks to the insights provided in your last post: "a home with two loving, capable parents"**

You also go even further, though. This next one caused me to use my imagination a little bit, and I admit that sometimes that can be a problem.

And instead of a two parent situation. Looking back and 'fantazing'

I'm not going to interpret this publicly because I actually like you and don't want to start a war. This last line leads me to believe that this is extremely personal to you and you're coming to an emotional conclusion based on your specific experiences, not realizing that your specific experiences might not necessarily be what human history would consider "normal."

You posed a question somewhere towards the end. I've had partners, I've been around children. Currently, though?

me, myself and I, and three dogs and my brother and his wife and their two nieces [errrr, their DAUGHTERS and my nieces], and also a deaf cat. Best part is? The house isn't in ANY of our names! Fuckin' equal footing, dawg.

I would have a fish tank still but dude, 60gal was a lot of work.

On top of that, my job has me visiting around a 100 homes daily and in and out of SO MANY BUSINESSES.

I may not have a dog in the fight but I've seen enough to be able to place some pretty solid wagers.

 

[emkee_reinvented]

"FU_CHICKEN?"

I'm not sure what that means, but I'd like to direct you to a tiny little snippet of yours that, in my opinion, makes the rest of your essay irrelevant. It's the golden nugget that I'm trying to show you, and you've already found it, brother. You held it in your hand and then offered it to me as if it was helping to make your point.

FU-CHICKEN was a work of art I send to my ex, but I doubt you see the fun in it but feel offensed.

Separation of a kid of one or both, capable, parent's is damaging.

Why do you think that is?

Because its in "The Right's of Children" of Unicef, as I wrote before.
You don't give away anything when asked direct question's, do you? Edit: re-read it and you did, my excuses. I was wrong.

Steph your thread is derailing sorry, but had to clear my throat. He is using the N.... word.
Off course this is based on personal experience and it was ab-normal, thought that was clear. PLUR Jibult.

Edit: for you, stephy and ... I'll try to upload an uplifting photo manipulation. Let's call it 'Furry Fish'.