What's the alternative to dating apps?

[Markomarkh]

Yes I've used the Internet for 20years now, and not got one date through using dating services, apps or websites, I really think they don't work and next to useless! I've tried love@lycos first early days, match, okcupid, eharmony, pOf, and even tinder and a few others and they are absolute garbage. What's the alternative to finding a woman I'm done with net dating, yes there is the good old fashioned meet at bar but that doesn't seem to happen for me neither, most people already have partners my age. So in 2017 what are other solutions, speed dating tried that? Single events? Where do I find them? Anything new tech or dating app that's a bit different? And no I don't want a prostitute.

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

All I know is everyone uses tinder. Lol.

Good old fashion meet at the bar..... not working? Why not? Just have to introduce yourself-- are you doing that?
Speed dating seems so old fashion.... lol.. I'm sure you can google it (plus your area).

 

[tathra]

All I know is everyone uses tinder. Lol.

the big problem with tindr is that you have to link it to your facebook. forget that. i've personally never been able to meet any women though dating sites or bars or anything like that either, in fact bluelight is the only place i ever have met women, far far more than through anywhere else (and certainly not the only one either, there's a lot of couples that met through here, a lot). not sure anybody would be able to do that these days though, since there's no meetups or really anything anymore, and the place isn't a small, close-knit community like it used to be.

 

[aesoprock]

Well, dating apps do work... I met a couple of nice women that way. But if the old-fashioned way won't work, some changes cf. your approach might be indicated (just a thought)

PS: Still, I think online dating is kinda lame

 

[protovack]

How about meeting women through your normal every day life?
Women who live in same building as you? Pass by them a lot?
Work near you? Participate in similar hobbies?
Frequent the same establishments?

Why must everything be mediated through a screen?

Real life has its advantages. For example, if you see woman in real life, you can tell if you are attracted to her very quickly. This can save you so much effort that would otherwise be wasted on dating sites.

 

[tathra]

Why must everything be mediated through a screen?.

Social anxiety and extreme shyness, and fear of rejection are usually pretty big reasons. At least with dating sites/apps you know they're at least single and looking for someone.

 

[Markomarkh]

I have met girls/women IRL offline but I find that way they are always taken, then I just forget about them, guarantee most the time if they are any good they'll be taken! That's my experience. Same building? I don't work in one or live in a flat, when I go up town I mostly see the same boring faces, again either taken or just they are miserable and not worth knowing. I Think I should just forget about it, Im sick of looking now or going on wild goose chase.

 

[garbagegutz]

too late to not use Tinder http://www.canberratimes.com.au/lif...ing-the-oldfashioned-way-20161213-gt9y3m.html

 

[Vastness]

If you've been using dating apps or dating sites for 20 years and have never got a single date then honestly you MUST be doing something wrong. It's not just down to random luck, you know... there is a right way to do things and a wrong way to do things... just like in real life.

Since you're already on the internet, there is a huge amount of information out there about how to use dating apps/sites more successfully. If you haven't already looked at some of it... why the hell not?! Google is your friend. If you still can't figure it out you can even pay for services that will help you out with things like writing a profile, sending messages, or even more depending on how much help you want or need. I don't know if you have some kind of hang up about this, but if you do... I would suggest firstly just getting over yourself. Short of actually paying someone to arrange dates for you (and these services do exist), you're paying for knowledge, and you shouldn't feel bad about doing so. Not everyone is capable of learning things on their own.

I don't mean to sound rude but honestly the way your post is written it sounds like you've just been doing the same thing for 20 years and are getting frustrated when, unsurprisingly, this isn't working. My apologies if this is not the case...

PS: Still, I think online dating is kinda lame

I think judgemental technophobes who still think this about online dating are kinda lame.

Sure, there are some quite valid arguments to be made about online dating taking some of the healthy experiences of risk-and-subsequent-reward (or character-building rejection) elements out of meeting people... but people have different skill sets, often through no fault of their own but through their life experiences, and why should people not be allowed to still meet people if they are unable to do so in real life because of a seemingly unsurpassable wall of anxiety, or something else? Online dating can be a good way to build confidence before trying to meet people in real life as well, should they choose... and even if they never choose to, it's 2017, a whole lot of stuff is done online now, and short of some kind of global catastrophe that sends us back into the pre-technological dark ages, this is a trend that for the forseeable future is only going upwards, so you may as well get used to it.

 

[Bearlove]

Dating apps do work for the people that want 'dating apps' - the good old fashioned hook ups in bars also work as well as the tried and tested networking through your work place, uni, school or social group.

I do think that the common factor is about how you present yourself and your honest understanding of what your expecting.

The more people you meet (IRL or online) the more chances you have of meeting somebody you like.

 

[King Of Hearts]

I have met several women over the years using various sites, from dating to adult sites as well. If you are not having any luck, perhaps you should look at how you are constructing your ads. Maybe take a look at another guys ad to see how they are doing things. You will also find that most sites have discussion boards like this one where you can ask women what they like to see, even more so what they do not want to see in a guy's ad. Women like confident men, to them it is power. Most women like a man that can take charge, it is a reflection to how he will be in the bedroom. Get in her head first and you will have her beating a path to your door. They do not like whiny complaining sniveling men, there are plenty of them out there already. I would also suggest a free site like POF or something like that. The paid sites are full of garbage, mostly fake ads created by the site owners to keep you coming back with more money. Try to relax, be confident, be strong. Show a bit of yourself, but leave a little to be discovered too. Women love mysterious men, you will have them eating out of your hand if you leave her curious in the right ways.

 

[aesoprock]

I think judgemental technophobes who still think this about online dating are kinda lame.

This is the conclusion of the whole online dating experience I drew for myself. YMMV – but there's nothing judgmental about it...
BTW: You couldn't be more wrong about 'technophobe' ...

 

[milkandhoney]

honestly, you need to work on your social skills! Socializing is a major key when beginning a relationship, meaning you need to ditch the PC and head out in the real world and put yourself in situations you haven't been. This way it will help you realize what you exactly like and want in a relationship. It seems that you want a serious, long term relationship, so I do not advise bars to meet your partners because let's be honest half of the women there are only looking for a one night stand! Maybe start going to some events, or join some club, which is a great way to meet new people!