If you've been using dating apps or dating sites for 20 years and have never got a single date then honestly you MUST be doing something wrong. It's not just down to random luck, you know... there is a right way to do things and a wrong way to do things... just like in real life.
Since you're already on the internet, there is a huge amount of information out there about how to use dating apps/sites more successfully. If you haven't already looked at some of it... why the hell not?! Google is your friend. If you still can't figure it out you can even pay for services that will help you out with things like writing a profile, sending messages, or even more depending on how much help you want or need. I don't know if you have some kind of hang up about this, but if you do... I would suggest firstly just getting over yourself. Short of actually paying someone to arrange dates for you (and these services do exist), you're paying for knowledge, and you shouldn't feel bad about doing so. Not everyone is capable of learning things on their own.
I don't mean to sound rude but honestly the way your post is written it sounds like you've just been doing the same thing for 20 years and are getting frustrated when, unsurprisingly, this isn't working. My apologies if this is not the case...
PS: Still, I think online dating is kinda lame
I think judgemental technophobes who still think this about online dating are kinda lame.
Sure, there are some quite valid arguments to be made about online dating taking some of the healthy experiences of risk-and-subsequent-reward (or character-building rejection) elements out of meeting people... but people have different skill sets, often through no fault of their own but through their life experiences, and why should people not be allowed to still meet people if they are unable to do so in real life because of a seemingly unsurpassable wall of anxiety, or something else? Online dating can be a good way to build confidence before trying to meet people in real life as well, should they choose... and even if they never choose to, it's 2017, a whole lot of stuff is done online now, and short of some kind of global catastrophe that sends us back into the pre-technological dark ages, this is a trend that for the forseeable future is only going upwards, so you may as well get used to it.