timetohunt
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2007
- Messages
- 334
What would you do? Severe Opiate Addiction Vs. being full care giver for dieing wife
Background:
Very common. Became a pain management patient for what at the time seemed like a legitimate tradeoff. Opiate dependency for being able to work. Then finally the whole magic runs completely dry, and your life basically becomes a mini pill management industry. Again, familiar ground for many.
I have had the opportunity to quit in the past couple of years, and almost got there, except that wife developed lung cancer, which progressed, resulted in several surgies, and metastasized to brain. My goal was to get clean before she needed me full time as a care giver. It takes me over a month to become even remotely functional. I serve super nasty withdrawals even in comparison to some of the worst you read about. Central to this is anxiety disorders which existed previously. Leads to being even too anxious to do basic hygiene
So as I've been trying to quit by putting in time, separate myself by as long as possible tween my last dose then every two weeks a medical emergency develops and I'm not able to beat time. Im usually at the height of withdrawal at about 2 weeks, it's just my chemistry. I cannot safely drive when withdrawaling.
So zero family or friends in the area that can help, I dose up to do my duties. And those duties now require almost round the clock care for her. No days off.
I run short of my scripted meds by about 12 days every month. I am fairy under scripted but there is no way to feed me enough to be able to rise up and function. That amount again is used up about 10-12 days before next script. The pain management establishment will not upscale me nearly enough.
Here is what I did, I begged the doctors to change my paltry 3x 15mg Oxycontin ER, to methadone 20 mgs per day. I get a few roxi each day you, but it's so fast acting.
What would you have done?
Background:
Very common. Became a pain management patient for what at the time seemed like a legitimate tradeoff. Opiate dependency for being able to work. Then finally the whole magic runs completely dry, and your life basically becomes a mini pill management industry. Again, familiar ground for many.
I have had the opportunity to quit in the past couple of years, and almost got there, except that wife developed lung cancer, which progressed, resulted in several surgies, and metastasized to brain. My goal was to get clean before she needed me full time as a care giver. It takes me over a month to become even remotely functional. I serve super nasty withdrawals even in comparison to some of the worst you read about. Central to this is anxiety disorders which existed previously. Leads to being even too anxious to do basic hygiene
So as I've been trying to quit by putting in time, separate myself by as long as possible tween my last dose then every two weeks a medical emergency develops and I'm not able to beat time. Im usually at the height of withdrawal at about 2 weeks, it's just my chemistry. I cannot safely drive when withdrawaling.
So zero family or friends in the area that can help, I dose up to do my duties. And those duties now require almost round the clock care for her. No days off.
I run short of my scripted meds by about 12 days every month. I am fairy under scripted but there is no way to feed me enough to be able to rise up and function. That amount again is used up about 10-12 days before next script. The pain management establishment will not upscale me nearly enough.
Here is what I did, I begged the doctors to change my paltry 3x 15mg Oxycontin ER, to methadone 20 mgs per day. I get a few roxi each day you, but it's so fast acting.
What would you have done?
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