The absolute worst thing in the world is when you are clearly and demonstrably correct, like when I once had an argument with a friend about how I said I doubted there were very many transgender disabled lawyers around and he said he was one. I was stunned, because him identifying with a disablity was pretty new and I new what was going on in his life but was shocked that he would apply that label to it. But I asked anyway and said 'how are you disabled' and he just goes 'i have depression' and I just sighed because this guy had been diagnosed with mild depression not two weeks prior and he was so unaffected by it in reality he didn't even tell his boss at a busy law firm to get accomodations, he still goes to the gym every night, enjoys his hobbies and his social life. Just thinks the world is going to shit and sometimes wants to drink on weeknights.
And like he said that to a guy who has cPTSD, bipolar 1 with psychosis, level 3 autism, ADHD, and narcolepsy. I don't get to just shed the disabled label when my condition is all better like his might be in 6 months. I'm stuck with it and I'm stuck with the negative aspects of it, like the stigma, the impact it has on my finances (when his car got stolen he just used $7,000 savings to buy a new one that same week. I had to wait weeks to have a low income start up loan approved and borrow money from abusive family because I have no savings, at some points last year my meds cost $400 q month, in Australia. I'm actually so financial impacted by my medical and disability costs my parents elect to pay for most of it to try and even things up between me and my brother and I get government funding to pay for disabilty therapy and support). He doesn't get the fact that friends ditch you over an uncontrollable mood disorder they've known you have since you met them, which they promised they would never use against you as long as you took your meds (which I did). He didn't watch all of his law student friends graduate, finish placement, get admitted to the supreme court, and get their first jobs at the same time you were meant to be doing that while instead you're surviving off disability payments. He doesn't have a situation where he accepts that he will never have a serious long term romantic partner because of being way too autistic and potential candidates go from thinking he's weird and awkward and that's cute to understanding he is actually developmentally delayed, inept, and it's more work than it's worth. Plus disclosing a history of childhood abuse is not an enticing task. It took me 5-10 years to disclose to my closest friends and no potential partner would wait that long. He didn't get called retarded by parents at his soccer club growing up cause he didn't talk.
Like yes, depression can be a disability, if it's Major Depressive Disorder or chronic treatment resistant depression.
But like dude, don't fucking shoehorn the label of a disadvantaged group on to yourself just to prove a point. I'm trans, significantly disabled, and I may not ever be able to practice as a lawyer. Like most disabled trans people I do sex work. He has never nor will ever be in that unfortunate position.
I mean, this guy once told me I shouldn't tell my support work clients I mentors parents I have bipolar, for *reasons* and was super condescensing about it.
Okay man, here's the thing. All my clients families are super chill about it. They'll give me 2 straight weeks off work for an episode if I ask then and there. Plus unlike you, I have physical signs of my mental illness with self harm scars, so frankly all of the families know as soon as it's summer and I wear a t shirt that I am very mentally unwell.
Just because you are so mildly impacted from your mental health that you have no need to tell your boss, that doesn't mean that I did the wrong thing. I work in disability support, it's basically the most accomodating area.
I honestly barely even bothered. I figured if be was willing to diminish my experiences like that and claim to experience the same level of disadvantage just to win an arguement he wouldn't back down.
