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  • EADD Moderators: axe battler | Pissed_and_messed

What is your 'raison d'etre?'

StoneHappyMonday said:
Sorry man but you don't know the half of it believe me. I mentioned cancer in this thread because it heavily influenced my decision to do more travelling before I die. That's not using it as ammunition. You were talking about morbid so I thought it a relevant morbid reality to relate to your post. In the same way I brought up atlases as relevant to you and your encyclopaedias. And believe me, ammunition? You really don't know how my life has changed in the last few years because I don't talk about it. Cancer, for the moment at least, is a long way off being the worst thing in my life.

You used the word fortunate about my circumstances. Without even knowing them. And then it's "cancer as ammunition". Nah, honestly man, sorry. I give up with this place. For trying to relate to your post I get this shit? Not worth it.
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No, I'm sorry man. I wasn't using the word 'fortunate' to relate to your personal circumstances, please believe me. It's all relative as you know. I also thought that your cancer was in remission - apologies if that isn't the case.

Ultimately, I know you're big and hard enough to take it on the chin like a mo'fo....
 
I don't want my parents to know I committed suicide, so I'm waiting for them to die.
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
I'm not daft enough to force an early demise, but sometimes I feel that life gets in the way of the ultimate knowledge. I realise that it's also the ultimate gamble, but imagine if it pays off...!!

I guess what I'm really saying is that if I'm honest, I believe that my drug use is simply a distraction to get me through 'life' as easily and quickly as possible until the next phase when I hope to discover the 'truth'.
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I don't think life can work like that.

First off, if there's no God your a bit screwed... you got to wait around for the eternal time to recreate your consciousness in another form or something, and that could get a bit messy and provide no answers...

Now if there is a God, do you really think he's gonna let you skip this life and then find all the answers once you've either killed yourself or wasted your life with drugs? That would suggest He is imperfect, and your wasting your time here.

Best off just sucking it up in this life, finding out why your here and what to do with your life the hard way. There's no other way around it really.

I was talking to an old friend of mine the other day, who wants to kill himself... and he was blagging that "Soon he will find all the answers to life" as some kind of benefit to killing himself. But I said, "No." If God has not permitted you to know everything yet in this life, do you really think you can cheat him and find out through death? Chances are you'll just be reincarnated and face the same problems again. If you're not permitted to know this knowledge; you're not permitted. And only by facing these problems, can you possibly progress from your place. There's no easy way around it.
 
Raasyvibe said:
I don't think life can work like that.

First off, if there's no God your a bit screwed... you got to wait around for the eternal time to recreate your consciousness in another form or something, and that could get a bit messy and provide no answers...

Now if there is a God, do you really think he's gonna let you skip this life and then find all the answers once you've either killed yourself or wasted your life with drugs? That would suggest He is imperfect, and your wasting your time here.

Best off just sucking it up in this life, finding out why your here and what to do with your life the hard way. There's no other way around it really.

I was talking to an old friend of mine the other day, who wants to kill himself... and he was blagging that "Soon he will find all the answers to life" as some kind of benefit to killing himself. But I said, "No." If God has not permitted you to know everything yet in this life, do you really think you can cheat him and find out through death? Chances are you'll just be reincarnated and face the same problems again. If you're not permitted to know this knowledge; you're not permitted. And only by facing these problems, can you possibly progress from your place. There's no easy way around it.
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The difference being - I don't believe in God in any of his guises.
 
My raison d'etre is to find out what happens next. I don't know why I care but I do. Enjoy what comes up along the way.
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
The difference being - I don't believe in God in any of his guises.
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- So we go to step one:

Raasy said:
if there's no God you're a bit screwed... you got to wait around for the eternal time to recreate your consciousness in another form or something, and that could get a bit messy and provide no answers...
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How do you expect to know all the answers to everything and beyond, if there is no God!? Chances are you'll just lose consciousness and fade out into nothing, never to exist again. And if you DO manage to reform into another consciousness, by fluke, who says you'll have all the intelligence and answers to life? You may just reincarnate as a lower life form. This life may be your best chance to find out those answers...
 
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What a good thread..

My raison d'etre is to do good to others help when you can.

Be strong when you are weak
Be brave when you are scared.
Be humble when you are victorious
Be Badass everyday....
 
BigG said:
What a good thread..

My raison d'etre is to do good to others help when you can. ...
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I'm with you on this BG.

My raison d'etre is to be a tiny cog in a big wheel of social and economic change.
 
Oh and I am with SHM on the travel thing. I think i have been to 41 countries now. I dont come from a wealthy background (compared to other aussies not the rest of the world) i worked hard and took significant risks to get where i am now. My main problem is i keep wanting to go back to places i have already been. Anyway travel is important.

I like to balance the hedonist side of my life by helping people. It works for me.
 
I don't know why I am.

But its better than the alternative.
 
Do no harm (but take no shit)....

Also to piss of FUBAR and Consumer :)
 
Having my daughter has really changed my behaviour and attitude towards life. Such a fantastic gift. <3
 
Life is meaningless but while I'm here I might as well enjoy it.

I've been depressed and very anxious since I was about 10 years old and it took a while but I finally was able to spin the worthlessness of life into a positive reason to actually not just end it all.

And that's also why I do drugs. Helps me keep a positive mindset and not let depression and anxiety distract me from it.
 
Sounds very familiar-we are all self medicating I think...due to a trauma or someone or something letting us down that for me includes the NHS...I don't feel life is meaningless it is a cliche but life is truly what you do with it. I have friends doing charitable work way beyond a bit of financial sponsorship, for free and not enjoying it as such but knowing when they go to sleep shattered that they really have made however small dent in making this life better for others-selfless.

Is it selfish just to live to enjoy your own life? ..fulfilment and enjoyment can be very separate or to some the same thing.

I do drugs for too many reasons to list-now after all these years it's just become the norm. Sometimes to forget, sometimes to remember, sometimes just or fun.

Complexity of individuals upbringings, morals, ethics...mostly I do things now rarely and usually to give me energy and stamina as I feel so fatigued and so saddened by life. Ultimately though I feel physically and mentally fatigued and just sad about the state of this world and the disease and inhumanity and ignorance of what is happening to those close to me....also it seems everyone is in my tiny bubble of the world ill, dying or/and my friends are so low and depressed or sad for different personal reasons.

Happiness is something that I strive for however very little makes me happy with the exception of accidentally stumbling across someone -my man who is the only reason I stay on this earth. That in itself is sheer luck but it worries me that we are so reliant on each other for those glimpses of happy times.

P.S I should probably be in the fucked thread as I haven't slept for 4 nights so if this is coherent without eloquence it's a fucking miracle..
 
A bit cliché but all of this is bound to be. I get what you're saying mate.

I feel extra shitty about all this because I don't even have anything to blame it on, my head's fucked for no real reason like... it seems most people who are depressed and use drugs have past trauma as you said, but I don't have any traumatic past I wasn't abused by my family or anything like that. In fact one of my parents genuinely was abused and still does not use drugs or even any medication or therapy or anything, just gets on with life.

Me I've not really been through anything but I've had to go to therapy and take medication and I still do drugs on the side (albeit often the same type I'm prescribed - more benzos) and it just makes me feel weak. Why can't I cope with my comfortable life when I know people who've been through much worse and come out stronger people?

I don't know what the cause but I rarely feel much emotion, and when I do it's always a short burst of extreme emotion that's usually negative. Maybe I just got used to the negative emotions and shut them down whenever I could. I can't feel anything but numb unless I'm tripping.
 
I've got more witnessed and experienced trauma than I could count but it's filed away in the recesses of my mind and I won't let the cunt out....

Not healthy I know and yes I'm getting help..
 
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