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Recovery What is YOUR definition of sobriety?

Snafu in the Void

Snafu in the Void

Moderator: NMI Bukowski Jr.
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I've noticed many of us might use a few things yet still call ourselves sober. I've been trying to get sober for 16 years and it's definitely the case for me. Wanted some other opinions.

For me as a heroin/polyaddict
"Sober from drugs" - alcohol, cannabis, occasional LSD and kratom
"I am actually sober" - cannabis, kratom
"True sobriety" - nothing



And honestly this is a bit snarky but I find the elitist TRULY SOBER Aa/NA crowd to be a bit hypocritical while they chain smoke and pound litres of coffee, both of which are addictive psychoactive chemicals.

Your thoughts?
 
i have a similar definiton

to me being clean is being completely off crack and heroin. i feel there is also some distinction cos right now i actively don't want to use either but i still go through phases of romanticising them, particularly heroin. to me its the distincton between 'physical sobriety' and 'emotional sobriety' but with respect to those drugs.

right now i am using alcohol and benzos more often than i would like, but still consider myself clean. i'd like to go back to true sobriety, i.e. nothing ever.

completely agree about the hypocrisy in NA re smoking, caffeine, and judging by the size of some long term members, food. i guess you have to draw a line somewhere though. caffeine and cigs aren't going to cause you to lose everything (well except your life lol) and drive everyone around you to distracton in the way alcohol and drugs can.
 
My definition would be - "Living in a way that is not at odds with your health, relationships and general well-being." In one country that would mean "don't drink alcohol" and in other "don't do heroin". When defining sobriety one hits a wall when asking - "what is the drug?". Is nicotine a drug? Is sugar a drug? Is bungee jumping a drug? Is sex a drug? Is slot machine a drug? They all can and don't have to be used compulsively. It is harder to not use compulsively cocaine, meth or heroin, but there are people who use them and have no problem walking away when they see it is starting to distort their lives. I don't know the percentage of people who can have a "healthy relationship with cocaine", but there certainly are people like that. Also, mountain climbing can get out of control and ruin your life.
 
'functional both in life and emotionally/mentally' - agree whether that's using an SSRI or other prescribed medications, cannabis or anything else illegal/legal.
Tbh sober I can't seem to function because of my poor brain lol so it's a hard one, like I don't know if there will be a day ever I will be truly comfortable in myself or be able to enjoy life without ANYTHING. I was on mirtazapine and piled on weight which was worse in the long run.
Personally I love my weed too much to be textbook sober, it's expensive but much more forgiving and sustainable than say cocaine or booze ime. And I think that just smoking some weed and the odd trip, as far as psychoactive substances go, will be my sober.
Diazepam helps me massively! but I just can't be strict enough with myself because they help so much and my tolerance gets too high, unless I give them to someone and I can get irritated easier without them, tend to feast and famine.
The hard part - especially if you have a so called addictive personality - is the sustainability and if it is damaging you/others physically/mentally I suppose in general. Then also separating the logical thoughts from the denial that tells you that you will be able to manage it...or simply 'fuck it mentality' I wanna feel better I don't care.
Do yous think that once the line has been crossed that it's impossible to enjoy something in moderation given enough of a break? I know it depends on the substance and how much you've been taking, method, brain chemistry, reasons etc. I feel like I want to be able to have a social drink again after I'm dry for at least 6 months to a year, do it socially but scared of the slippery slope that could and has happened in the past. I also romanticise about my past drug use specifically IV which I replaced with booze in an unhealthy amount hence line crossed.
I think everyone's own definition of being sober is personal though defintetley.
 
SnafuInTheVoid said:
And honestly this is a bit snarky but I find the elitist TRULY SOBER Aa/NA crowd to be a bit hypocritical while they chain smoke and pound litres of coffee, both of which are addictive psychoactive chemicals.
Click to expand...
Yeah well, it might be psychoactive on paper, but in facts it doesn't affects me like marijuana or cocaine would, otherwise you could call anyone non-sober because of the dopamine that is released every time someone does something s.he likes

For me sobriety is like just without drugs/alcohol, it's hard enough to get there...
 
MydriHaze said:
Yeah well, it might be psychoactive on paper, but in facts it doesn't affects me like marijuana or cocaine would, otherwise you could call anyone non-sober because of the dopamine that is released every time someone does something s.he likes
Click to expand...
Oh yeah I agree, I'm really just bringing up the semantics of sobriety.
 
im gonna have to say doing nothing "true sobriety", so i would never be there which is why ive never claimed sobriety from anything

i just either stop or continue or take breaks...sometimes i go into retirement...like im retired from cocaine products and im not coming out of retirement this time

i hate opiates so i dont have to worry about that and i don't like meth either....so yea

ive never been a drunk.....just a pothead really....but i dont think you can claim sobriety and still smoke weed like some ppl do....but that's just my feeling because i know when im chronically smoking weed that im not the same person as when im abstaining from it...and im not sure which one is better so i start and stop all the time now according to how i feel overall


so drinking a pot of coffee and chain smoking cigs....well yea there's definitely issues there too....so i dont think that's sober either - but whatever works for ya im trying not to be too judgy here because everybody really is different and you just gotta know yourself
 
I have a pyramid type thing based on risk in my head. I know when I go up the list I'm on more slippery ground. Something like this


top tier *very dangerous headed for all bullshit buckle up*- iv opioids / powerful opioids

High tension drugs * danger can lead to opioids* - cocaine iv. methamphetamine

Middle risk * tread with caution⚠️*
Cocaine nasal. Adderall benzos

Low risk- alcohol kratom Psychedelics

Sober - cannabis coffee nicotine

I also have a problem with the holier than thou NA type of thing. But my friends that are involved I'd never say that to because if it works for them who am I to knock it and I care about their well being and last thing I want is them guzzling Jack D by the half gallon and shooting meth.
 
I’ve used on and off since my 20s. 73 now.
For me the key word is ‘used’.
I used heroin, barbiturates, alcohol to stop emotional pain.
I was clean for two years in rehab and another year through NA.
I found I didn’t really need drugs in structured groups with people who for the most part cared.
So sobriety is being free of pain.
I try to make my own structure but just can’t get along with people long enough to have the feeling of being cared for.
I find sobriety to be totally elusive.
 
I think of sober as steering clear of IV drugs and alcohol which I pretty successfully do.

I also think of sobriety as steering clear of drugs that impede relationships and important life goals which I am less good at in the case of meth. I have sober periods of months at a time but am yet to achieve sustainable sobriety.

I’m comfortable that everything else is recreational and unproblematic. I don’t factor in prescribed meds to sobriety. They’re meds. Unless I abuse them. Which I don’t.
 
Sobriety = no psychoactive drugs in my body. That for me means no nicotine / caffeine aswell.

'Sober' and 'sobriety' have been water down and hollowed out. They don't mean anything anymore. People on maintainence say they're sober.
As per definition of the word, that is nothing but a lie. Why can't sober be sober and maintainence be maintainence?
Obscuring language does no one any favors. This not an attack against anyone. Maintainence-programs are fantastic. But they're not sober.
And I can't understand why we keep enabling this? If we can't be honest about addiction and everything surrounding it, how will we ever get rid of stigmas?
It won't get easier for those stuck in addiction. We treat them like we treat kids who tells us Santa is real. We let them lie not to hurt them.
But grown men and women?

Anybody who's on maintainence and considers themselves sober who can explain it to me? What has fueled this? Is it some kind of self-manipulation?

I'm genuinely interested if anybody wants to answer.
 
i am not, nor have i ever been, on maintenence.

but in my head at least, if someone is using no drugs above their script, its exactly whats needed to hold them and no more, and they are making psychological progress and getting on with their life then the only difference between me (or at least me last year when i was doing complete abstinence from all drugs) and them is that i've done my rattle already.

it is more complex than that cos i have seen enough people who seemed very stable in recovery relapse while trying to get off their scripts, and i'm not at that risk.

mostly though i don't care much about the normativity of meaning. as long as we can understand each other. i find emotional sobriety more important from a long term recovery perspective.
 
SnafuInTheVoid said:
I've noticed many of us might use a few things yet still call ourselves sober. I've been trying to get sober for 16 years and it's definitely the case for me. Wanted some other opinions.

For me as a heroin/polyaddict
"Sober from drugs" - alcohol, cannabis, occasional LSD and kratom
"I am actually sober" - cannabis, kratom
"True sobriety" - nothing



And honestly this is a bit snarky but I find the elitist TRULY SOBER Aa/NA crowd to be a bit hypocritical while they chain smoke and pound litres of coffee, both of which are addictive psychoactive chemicals.

Your thoughts?
Click to expand...
I think if we can avoid our personal substances of misuse, not use drugs for recreational purposes, and get 8 hours quality sleep each night, we can call ourselves sober.

I’m not sober yet.
 
PyrusThePear said:
I think if we can avoid our personal substances of misuse, not use drugs for recreational purposes, and get 8 hours quality sleep each night, we can call ourselves sober.

I’m not sober yet.
Click to expand...
I'm like half sober. I drink every other day. Almost there 🤠
 
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