RyaneWillow2014
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2014
- Messages
- 42
What's going on?
I am 20 my fiancée is 22. We've been living together for about a year and 4 months and we've been dating for about a year and a half. We were best friends for about a year and a half before we started dating. We both had feelings for each other for about 8 or 9 months of that time but neither of us spoke up bc we didn't think the other one felt the same way and we didt want to ruin our friendship over it. So by the time we started dating we knew each other and each other's family's very we'll and were extremely close. Obiously if we moved in together and were sharing a bank account after only being a couple for 2 months. She has a son who is now 3 from a previous relationship the father is absent ( has seen the child a total of about 4 times in his 3 years of life the child has no idea who he is) I have completely accepted that child as my own and I am his father figure and we both have plans for me to eventually adopt him. Her family is very fond of me bc of the way I have treated her and the child. We lived with her older sister for about 5 and a half months before getting our own apartment. Which actually wasn't bad at all I get along with her sister just as good if not better than my girlfriend. Everything was perfect for a while. The sex was great we did everything together. We were even pretty broke due to the fact that we were 18 and 20 working at subway and paying all of out own bills but we were still very happy. We were both looking forward to having out own place so our sex life could be even better and less of the late night quiet sex for fear of her sister walking in. After we moved to our apartment tho it all just kind of slowed to almost a complete stop we still loved each other like always and never really fought. It kept getting worse and worse. We found out she was 4 months pregnant and we had no idea she still had periods and everything. But that kind of explained why she never felt like doing anything. The sex kept slowing down more and more and the last 2 and a half months of the pregnancy sex was non existent. Even any sexual activity at all was completely stopped. After he had the baby it was the best ever we couldn't have sex but I guess she felt bad for starving me bc the first week it was like new love she was obsessed with my dick. Then it kind of died off again. Had sex one time after her doctors appt clearing her over about a month. Then she got a mirena iud put in for birth control and she kept tellin me she was waiting until she got it put in bc she was scared to get pregnant again. We'll that was about a month and a half ago and we've had sex like 3 times. She never wants to do anything sexual the first time we had sex after the mirena she told me she had been feeling self conciois and that made me feel awful bc I am very very attracted to her and I express that to her several times daily. But I had no idea she felt that way bc she never talks about her feelings ever. She refuses. We have very busy lives and I understand that but there was several times in the beginning of our relationship that she told me she loves sex. And the sex has always been great. I'm not going to tell you I give her multiple bed shaking orgasms every time but were very comfortable with each other and we tell each other what we like so there's no guessing if it's good or not. We'll now anytime that we do get free time all she ever does is read stuff on her phone (Facebook, random online articles, etc) or she makes lists (she is very OCD and will make several lists of the same thing and she will make a list for everything from money and house chores to just random shit she wants to do over the next few weeks) but whichever she is doing each night she literally falls asleep doing so. And she gets very annoyed when I try to talk to her about anything while she's doing these things. So I basically don't even get to talk to her much less sex. If I do get her to watch a movie or somthing she is just reading shit on her phone the whole time. And she's not hiding things from me were very trust worthy of each other she doesn't care if I read the stuff with her anytime I ask to use her phone she never acts weird or anything she has me read her texts to her if she's doing somthing. I'm not concered that another guy is the problem. She also seems to get irrated with me very easily and the smallest things turn into bigger arguments about everything. I've tried talking to her about it. She says she likes having sex with me. And anytime I am able to get her in the mood and we have sex she loves it and is more likely to do it again the next day. But it's almost like she forgets tht she likes it? It's very difficult to get her in the mood before I didn't have to do anything other than ask if she wanted to have sex and she'd say yeah and that would be that. Not anymore asking is a guarenteed no and I hate to keep asking and pressuring her but if I do nothing then it will be the same she never Initiates anymore. The only time she's initiated in a long time was when I had asked her earlier in the day and she actually said yes shed like to that night but she was asleep when I got home from work. Then the next night she said she would make it up to me and she fell asleep while we were putting the kids to sleep. I then just gave up hope and 2 days later she finally got around to having sex and she loved it she said she was sore but we had sex the next two nights after that. Then just died off again. I basically have to initiate and jump right in to it to where she is feeling pleasure before she has a chance to say how tired she is. And to do this I have to get her off her phone which isn't easy. I love this girl and I love our family. Leaving her is not an option or a desire of mine. She didn't used to be like this. She used to always put things like spending time together over piddly shit like makin lists and reading on her phone. So my question is what are some possible causes of this behavior. And what are things I can do to fix these issues.
I am 20 my fiancée is 22. We've been living together for about a year and 4 months and we've been dating for about a year and a half. We were best friends for about a year and a half before we started dating. We both had feelings for each other for about 8 or 9 months of that time but neither of us spoke up bc we didn't think the other one felt the same way and we didt want to ruin our friendship over it. So by the time we started dating we knew each other and each other's family's very we'll and were extremely close. Obiously if we moved in together and were sharing a bank account after only being a couple for 2 months. She has a son who is now 3 from a previous relationship the father is absent ( has seen the child a total of about 4 times in his 3 years of life the child has no idea who he is) I have completely accepted that child as my own and I am his father figure and we both have plans for me to eventually adopt him. Her family is very fond of me bc of the way I have treated her and the child. We lived with her older sister for about 5 and a half months before getting our own apartment. Which actually wasn't bad at all I get along with her sister just as good if not better than my girlfriend. Everything was perfect for a while. The sex was great we did everything together. We were even pretty broke due to the fact that we were 18 and 20 working at subway and paying all of out own bills but we were still very happy. We were both looking forward to having out own place so our sex life could be even better and less of the late night quiet sex for fear of her sister walking in. After we moved to our apartment tho it all just kind of slowed to almost a complete stop we still loved each other like always and never really fought. It kept getting worse and worse. We found out she was 4 months pregnant and we had no idea she still had periods and everything. But that kind of explained why she never felt like doing anything. The sex kept slowing down more and more and the last 2 and a half months of the pregnancy sex was non existent. Even any sexual activity at all was completely stopped. After he had the baby it was the best ever we couldn't have sex but I guess she felt bad for starving me bc the first week it was like new love she was obsessed with my dick. Then it kind of died off again. Had sex one time after her doctors appt clearing her over about a month. Then she got a mirena iud put in for birth control and she kept tellin me she was waiting until she got it put in bc she was scared to get pregnant again. We'll that was about a month and a half ago and we've had sex like 3 times. She never wants to do anything sexual the first time we had sex after the mirena she told me she had been feeling self conciois and that made me feel awful bc I am very very attracted to her and I express that to her several times daily. But I had no idea she felt that way bc she never talks about her feelings ever. She refuses. We have very busy lives and I understand that but there was several times in the beginning of our relationship that she told me she loves sex. And the sex has always been great. I'm not going to tell you I give her multiple bed shaking orgasms every time but were very comfortable with each other and we tell each other what we like so there's no guessing if it's good or not. We'll now anytime that we do get free time all she ever does is read stuff on her phone (Facebook, random online articles, etc) or she makes lists (she is very OCD and will make several lists of the same thing and she will make a list for everything from money and house chores to just random shit she wants to do over the next few weeks) but whichever she is doing each night she literally falls asleep doing so. And she gets very annoyed when I try to talk to her about anything while she's doing these things. So I basically don't even get to talk to her much less sex. If I do get her to watch a movie or somthing she is just reading shit on her phone the whole time. And she's not hiding things from me were very trust worthy of each other she doesn't care if I read the stuff with her anytime I ask to use her phone she never acts weird or anything she has me read her texts to her if she's doing somthing. I'm not concered that another guy is the problem. She also seems to get irrated with me very easily and the smallest things turn into bigger arguments about everything. I've tried talking to her about it. She says she likes having sex with me. And anytime I am able to get her in the mood and we have sex she loves it and is more likely to do it again the next day. But it's almost like she forgets tht she likes it? It's very difficult to get her in the mood before I didn't have to do anything other than ask if she wanted to have sex and she'd say yeah and that would be that. Not anymore asking is a guarenteed no and I hate to keep asking and pressuring her but if I do nothing then it will be the same she never Initiates anymore. The only time she's initiated in a long time was when I had asked her earlier in the day and she actually said yes shed like to that night but she was asleep when I got home from work. Then the next night she said she would make it up to me and she fell asleep while we were putting the kids to sleep. I then just gave up hope and 2 days later she finally got around to having sex and she loved it she said she was sore but we had sex the next two nights after that. Then just died off again. I basically have to initiate and jump right in to it to where she is feeling pleasure before she has a chance to say how tired she is. And to do this I have to get her off her phone which isn't easy. I love this girl and I love our family. Leaving her is not an option or a desire of mine. She didn't used to be like this. She used to always put things like spending time together over piddly shit like makin lists and reading on her phone. So my question is what are some possible causes of this behavior. And what are things I can do to fix these issues.
