MafiaInsane
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 21, 2014
- Messages
- 74
For some background, I started using heroin in 2011, but due to low income, it was never a habit. It was usually once every month or two, smoked on foil. Connect got arrested and I spent 6 months or so sober without any issues or cravings whatsoever.
But the start of October of 2015, my income made a big leap, and I met a new, much better, cheaper, connect. I slipped up and before I knew it I was much deeper in addiction than I ever thought I would be, like most addicts.
I used every day for a few months, then eventually my money ran out and I ended up using nearly my whole paycheck on heroin.
At first, it would be enough to cover bills and other priorities, then heroin, and the amount would last me until my next check. Tolerance built, and after about 3 months or so, I ended up having 1-2 days that I ran out and couldn't afford anymore.
This lasted for around 3 months and got worse and worse. The withdrawals were awful.
What I noticed is that after at least 48 hours since my last dose, if I used a small amount, I would generally feel much better. Meaning, 2 days sober, one small dose use, and the withdrawals would be much easier.
I actually kicked for 3 weeks at one point due to this, or so it feels at least. But I got back in the cycle.
Now, it has been about 7 months of that pattern when I have finally decided enough is enough, and started trying to get sober. I went 24-48 hours clean, then broke from withdrawals being too bad. This happened several times over a couple weeks.
The last time it happened was 5 days ago. I used a pretty small dose. The weird thing is that this time, instead of the withdrawal being more mild, it was basically non-existent when I woke up the next day. I kept expecting it to come on fearing for it, and it hasn't happened.
I had extremely mild restless legs, I had been yawning and sneezing, and I have been depressed, but virtually 0 other physical symptoms.
It's really hard to believe I just got lucky or something, but it's even harder to believe that I haven't had withdrawal yet and that it is coming after its already been 5 days sober.
I would consider that I may have tapered off of it accidentally, but it happened so suddenly. One day I'm having horrible withdrawal, then I use, and the next day I'm fine. It was so out of the blue, it's strange to me.
The weirdest part is that the first day after my use, I got a good nights sleep. 24 hours clean, and I actually slept a full 8 hours with no type of sleep aid and without waking up at night. Same the next night, and the next, and the next. All 4 nights so far, I have gotten a good nights sleep. This is extremely rare for me, even before my drug abuse.
I quit cold turkey, I used no type of medicine or anything at all.
I have taken some vitamins, but not many and not very consistently.
Don't get me wrong, I am still definitely dealing with some issues like depression and some fatigue, things that I plan on lasting awhile and trying to develop a plan for. But there is no diarrhea, no cramps, no restless legs, no crawling skin, almost nothing. And even the mild symptoms I had are now disappearing.
Could it have been an accidental taper? Is there anything else it could've been? I'm confused on this one.
But the start of October of 2015, my income made a big leap, and I met a new, much better, cheaper, connect. I slipped up and before I knew it I was much deeper in addiction than I ever thought I would be, like most addicts.
I used every day for a few months, then eventually my money ran out and I ended up using nearly my whole paycheck on heroin.
At first, it would be enough to cover bills and other priorities, then heroin, and the amount would last me until my next check. Tolerance built, and after about 3 months or so, I ended up having 1-2 days that I ran out and couldn't afford anymore.
This lasted for around 3 months and got worse and worse. The withdrawals were awful.
What I noticed is that after at least 48 hours since my last dose, if I used a small amount, I would generally feel much better. Meaning, 2 days sober, one small dose use, and the withdrawals would be much easier.
I actually kicked for 3 weeks at one point due to this, or so it feels at least. But I got back in the cycle.
Now, it has been about 7 months of that pattern when I have finally decided enough is enough, and started trying to get sober. I went 24-48 hours clean, then broke from withdrawals being too bad. This happened several times over a couple weeks.
The last time it happened was 5 days ago. I used a pretty small dose. The weird thing is that this time, instead of the withdrawal being more mild, it was basically non-existent when I woke up the next day. I kept expecting it to come on fearing for it, and it hasn't happened.
I had extremely mild restless legs, I had been yawning and sneezing, and I have been depressed, but virtually 0 other physical symptoms.
It's really hard to believe I just got lucky or something, but it's even harder to believe that I haven't had withdrawal yet and that it is coming after its already been 5 days sober.
I would consider that I may have tapered off of it accidentally, but it happened so suddenly. One day I'm having horrible withdrawal, then I use, and the next day I'm fine. It was so out of the blue, it's strange to me.
The weirdest part is that the first day after my use, I got a good nights sleep. 24 hours clean, and I actually slept a full 8 hours with no type of sleep aid and without waking up at night. Same the next night, and the next, and the next. All 4 nights so far, I have gotten a good nights sleep. This is extremely rare for me, even before my drug abuse.
I quit cold turkey, I used no type of medicine or anything at all.
I have taken some vitamins, but not many and not very consistently.
Don't get me wrong, I am still definitely dealing with some issues like depression and some fatigue, things that I plan on lasting awhile and trying to develop a plan for. But there is no diarrhea, no cramps, no restless legs, no crawling skin, almost nothing. And even the mild symptoms I had are now disappearing.
Could it have been an accidental taper? Is there anything else it could've been? I'm confused on this one.