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What are the chances of our relationship surviving...

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FunctionlJnkieGal

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Dec 9, 2015
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If he's trying to quit drinking (12pk beer daily) and if I'd try to quit opiates (7.5mg morphine daily, 300mg once a week)? I mean, We've been together since 2010, but he's a great mechanic and just landed a better job, so he's gonna try to stop drinking (slowly). I feel obligated to quit opiates in order to make it easier for him to quit drinking (I figured I might as well try to quit too). The only problem is that I think we might wind up hating eachother as we try to get clean. Anyone been in my situation? Any junkie here ever date a drunk? Any advice?
 
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Just from my psych major perspective, you might be better off to not both be in CT w/d at the exact same time. If you are both half dead on a good day how can you help each other? If you are going to stop with an aide like loperamide, kramtom, subtex, methadone, that would be different. Also, acholol w/d needs medical supervision at least all the textbooks say it can be dangerous. you might consider a reward system like habitrpg and/or working with a therapist.
 
You take 7.5 mg of of morphine 6 days out of the week and 300 mg on one day is that a typo?
 
Even real strong relationships can be destroyed by addiction-related issues.
Your question really can't be answered because you failed to mention the state of your relationship currently.

Any relationship has the chance at survival if you really want to make it work. Good luck.
 
his drinking is the more physically damaging addiction currently.

is he constantly drunk (physical) or just bingeing in the evening after work?
 
In my experience, relationships are tough enough without substance abuse in the picture. My ex used to throw my weed smoking in my face when I tried to get him help for his drinking. Trying to taper off alcohol is hard especially if he drinks a 12 pack every day. He may need medical help to quit that large of a habit. As for you, obligatorily abstaining from morphine seems half-hearted and please don't take this the wrong way. You have to want to get clean for yourself and not because you feel that you have to. It's going to be an up hill battle if you both haven't made the decision to get clean and sober together.
 
Imo the emphasis should be on encouraging healthy behavior. 7.5 mg esp if your taking it for a legit purpose like pain is a valid use of a chemical. If you actually take 300 mg of morphine once a week i think a better example you could set would be just taking 7.5 mg per day. Because if he stops drinking thats great but statistically its unlikely and if he sees someone using drugs like alcohol in a reasonable sustainable way it is much more likely to rub off on him than everything got to go. Imo which is very different then the rehabs i went to and im no expert but what i saw was addicts beening basically pushed out the door because they refused to listen and consider any possible benefits they got drugs and alcohol and that made them loose all credibility. Because theyd tell people with severe pain o opiates dont relieve pain. Or one guy had schizophrenia and his medication gave him dystonia and memory and focus problems that his marijuana use doesnt really reduce his painful spasms or the 5 mg of adderall he took because he feels like he cant drive without zoning out is basically no different than smoking meth at a strip club hiting bong after bong of kush till you cant see threw the smoke.

Its not just alcohol that is a problem its that 12 beers a day puts the organs of the body esp the liver in significant measurable harm.
 
This subject is not one I feel like elaborating on my personal life much but I was married a few times. I am still quite young if that matters.

Usually one or both people getting clean has ended a relationship for me. It wasn't about drugs (usuaully) but usually we just were starting to know an entirely different person.

I am talking post wd. I went to detox for alcohol to spare people how bad that is and honestly its the easiest and most painless way to stop drinking. They always gave me a massive benzo dose and I was right as rain.

Opiates take much longer to feel ok after stopping. If you uave chronic pain or long term use you won't feel ok ime. Methadone is the only maintenance drug that works for me and I can't get it.

Maintenance drugs I am weary of because I see people get off with a worse habit then they started with.

OP why do you feel like you should stop opiates because your partner has a drinking problem? Do you have an opiate problem?

Oh yeah the thing about sobriety in a do not relapse mind set is that sobriety comes first. That's how it works at AA. They say to stay in the relationship you are in and if you a4e single to stay single. I think thats stupid.

Recovery is selfish in nature just as addiction is.

Its some heavy shit to go through. Regardless if your life is completely fucked because of drugs and alcohol you probably want do something about it.

I don't know what to tell you. Maybe go to couple therapy first because getting clean fucked up all my relationships and some of them were very good.

I am still friends with both women I was married to fwiw.
 
FunctionlJnkieGal said:
If he's trying to quit drinking (12pk beer daily) and if I'd try to quit opiates (7.5mg morphine daily, 300mg once a week)? I mean, We've been together since 2010, but he's a great mechanic and just landed a better job, so he's gonna try to stop drinking (slowly). I feel obligated to quit opiates in order to make it easier for him to quit drinking (I figured I might as well try to quit too). The only problem is that I think we might wind up hating eachother as we try to get clean. Anyone been in my situation? Anyone junkie here ever date a drunk? Any advice?
Click to expand...

Why don't you both go on an Ibogaine retreat and undergo Ibogaine treatment?

That way you can both be cured of your addictions.
 
Yep. That's not a typo. 7.5 daily (I've gotten down to cutting a 30mg pill into 1/4 pieces) and take 300mg once a week as a treat, but I've been taking opiates daily for nearly a decade (mostly morphine). As for my fiance, he's not a sun-up to sun-down whiskey drinker. Just a 12pk to wind-down after work and to be able to sleep at night, but he's been drinking everyday for well over a decade. I also worry that because of our addictions, one or both of us might have fertility issues if we ever decide to have a child. I appreciate all the advice. It helps, really.
 
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Is it possible he has a chronic untreated depression or anxiety disorder? It sounss almost like hes coming home and getting to a slightly intoxicated state just enough to relieve stress or improve mood and since alcohol is metabolized so quickly taking it like clock work. Mahbe hes benefit from a psych doctor to see if maybe there is safee med to address what may be rhe reason he drinks or cbt therapt if there is a psychological reason
 
He does have depression and anxiety issues. He's even explained to a doc that he has a drinking problem and was looking to quit, thinking they might give him xanax as a replacement to help him quit easier (back in the day they gave my great-grandmother valium to wean off of alcohol...but that was way back in the day). They might've assumed it was drug-seeking behavior or that he wasn't far gone enough in alcoholism to receive any kind of medical treatment. He's not big on drugs outside of alcohol, weed, and xanax on rare occasions, though he was briefly addicted to cocaine. He legitimately tried to seek help, with or without the help xanax. If one thing is for sure, he hates seeing me pinned-out or belligerent drunk (I can be an asshole when I DO drink). In general, despite the occasional argument over trivial bullshit, our relationship seems unfaltering. Given that we're still together by then, June will mark the 7th year of our relationship, but we got engaged in late 2014.
 
I mean like non intoxicating psych drugs to address depression and anxiety .
 
What type of anti-anxiety/anti-depressants would be helpful that aren't habit-forming or mind-altering? I assume there aren't many. I would think they would have to be mind-altering in some way in order to be effective, but I'm no doctor. :(
 
BiG StroOnZ said:
Why don't you both go on an Ibogaine retreat and undergo Ibogaine treatment?

That way you can both be cured of your addictions.
Click to expand...

Ibogaine is not some magical cure all for drug addiction. I know several people who used it in an attempt to get sober from opiates and other drugs, and they all wound up relapsing and were worse than before they ever took the ibogaine.
 
alpha_centauri said:
Ibogaine is not some magical cure all for drug addiction. I know several people who used it in an attempt to get sober from opiates and other drugs, and they all wound up relapsing and were worse than before they ever took the ibogaine.
Click to expand...

Because they didn't work a 12-step program afterwards. Like Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous. This is the problem with drugs addicts, is they think they can take a drug and the work will be done for them. Things aren't that simple. You still need to work a program, get a sponsor, work the steps, go to meetings. It's really that simple. Ibogaine is supposed to be used in conjunction with traditional methods!
 
If you are going to stay at a hospital type place then it might be okay.
But one person going through withdrawals is absolute hell. I would honestly go with one at a time. Because the other person needs to help the person who is withdrawing. For like two weeks straight I'd say. Not that you'll feel perfect after two weeks but it should be enough to be there for the other person.
The second person can always reduce his/her substance use while the first person is withdrawing. Or you can both slowly taper off and have not as bad withdrawls?
Going cold turkey is just awful for both people involved so definitely think it though. Having two people who are literally incapable of getting a glass of water.... not good at all!
 
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