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What about the one that got away?

Sucks, life goes on. With or without you. The one that got away was the best fucking decision i ever made it my life. I'm the jealous boyfriend type, and would have ended up in prison over that whore.

Atleast the girls i meet from backpage keep coming back for more.
 
Sidnafilisevil said:
I think when you yourself are already crazy (I'm talking about myself here but..) you tend to wind up attracting people who are also crazy. To me there is a fine line between "a bit of spark about her" and complete Nutjob 3 weeks down the line.

Do you think your still so foolish with the drugs now? Don't take that personally I've made the same mistakes myself being a self absorbed liability. It's the reason I can't do hard drugs anymore I had a moment of clarity and realised how much it all wasn't worth it. Just beer and weed for me now really but I've mended some bridges and don't hate myself anymore.
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i'm working on the drugs thing and i'm definitely nowhere near as bad as i was. ive had treatment, but i dabble. not in heroin or anything anymore tho. basically i've learned my lesson i hope. no offence taken, mate
 
There are a couple who got away from me. But whatever..

I keep saying it and going back on my own word, but for now I'm -really- done with relationships. My heart always gets broken anyway. Either they are neglectful/abusive, cheat on me, or just up and leave one day. No explanation.
 
I was always a hopeless romantic, but let down after let down has led me to forget about being with anyone. I loved my last partner so much that the grief of losing him nearly killed me, literally. I cried every day for over a month, and wanted to die so badly that my body began to comply. And he moved on with not much of a second thought. He went from wanting to get married and move in together, as well as work towards various mutual dreams, to, "Oh, we're just not meant to be together? Isn't it obvious?" He was still hung up over his ex. Typical borderline.

Anyway... I can't risk my heart anymore. Maybe my point of view will change in a few years, but I don't know if I can live my own life that well anymore, let alone dedicate myself to someone else. I loved faithfully though perhaps blindly, and I have paid for it dearly. I hope others have better luck. The one that got away also took all the best parts of me with him. The person I used to be is dead.
 
Yeah I tracked her down and saw her for a bit.

I am now really glad she got away.

When I first got back with her after ten years it was like "Damn this chick is awesome, I should be with her" and I wanted it briefly. Then I ended up kinda pursuing her and then stopped.

I saw her for who she was. Decided I didn't want her.

So it was very interesting catching up with her. She has a good life in her own way. She is a serious bitch but that is hidden deep down. All in all she is a selfish person and I realize why things didn't work out.

As like it was before neither one of use broke things off, we just kinda fizzled out. I don't hate her, I don't love her. Now that I went and saw her I really do not care for her anymore even as a friend. I see her take advantage of people and she kinda warned me that she does that and I suppose she kinda kept me out of situations where she used everyone around her for which I am grateful for.

Basically she lives off of child support, the government, and the kindness of the gullible. So if she ever needed anything someone else would race to help her out as she plays this poor single mom role out to a T and banks off it.

She told me never to marry her and yeah I am glad I didn't cuz she also got alimony so before she even met me she had a game plan and she stuck to it. The thing is I would knocked her up and married her but she doesn't want that from anyone which is kind of weird but she gets more free shit this way. She is kind of a hypocrite, and a drama queen yet she always kept her drama away from me so in her own sick way I know she cared for me cuz she really fucks everyone over and there just isn't room for anyone she cares about around her.

All that being said of the scandalous shit she has done, she has never done that shit to me and really managed to keep it from me. I can see her for who she is and well there is no reason to be interested in her.

I am glad we ended things nicely both times and well seeing her again was redundant.
 
Its not like I am unhappy.

Life goes on.

I am glad I am not with her because I would be miserable right now if I had married her or got her pregnant.

So really, bullet dodged despite stepping out right in front of it.
 
I had a great one. He helped me out of an abusive relationship. Yet the physical attraction on my part towards him just "wasn't there". I was young and very active (he wasn't) so after many years I decided I couldn't forever be with someone who was merely like a best friend to me.

I then up and left him without him even seeing it coming. The reason? I met my DREAM MAN. He was PERFECT! Years younger then me, tall, well built and loved to do all the things I did (hike, bike, go boating....just everything). Yet more then all else? He was so, so sweet. He didn't even want me out of his site for a second because I was his "beautiful princess". Wonderful, right?

Absolute not and my worst mistake ever. What did he turn into? Someone who almost killed me at least 10 times. But it was all "because he loved me TOO much". Each smash of my head (during one of his attempts and because I went out with friends while he was at work and this before we even got into "I love you's" yet) against a concrete wall back and forth for what seemed to be an eternity, blackening my eyes, causing blood to pour from my nose and ears.......all due the fact that he loved me. Yeah right.

It's ironic I ran into this since I just wrote a poem about it recently describing my "experience" the best I could.

All and all, I'm now alone. The one who saved me from the 1st abusive relationship still being my best friend after 7 years (and never moved on) and now being the one I'd give anything to have back. We hang out (and I'm no longer super young), text everyday.....talk about everything and anything and now have so much in common. I recently asked him if he would ever consider taking me back (and he knows I've changed so very much), he said "there's no way in hell". You broke my heart once and alls I'd ever think about is you with "him" while you were still with me".

Now? I'm a bit older, more wise, look like shit (to me anyway from years of abuse) and would give anything to "settle down" and have a man in my life that I could also say is my "best friend". I blew that chance and now I feel that I will never move on either. So not only did I ruin his life (relationship wise) but I also ruined my life in a way that will undoubtedly impact me forever.
 
reading these all made me feel so emotional. im so glad everyone could share their stories so honestly!
 
Two for me. The most recent, I still talk to or text her every day and we see each other several times a week. We still go out on "dates" and show affection toward each other by holding hands and kissing, but she says she can't be my girlfriend until I deal with my alcoholism. I fucked up by going to rehab (she saw to it I did) then relapsing pretty hard a number of times after.

The other was a Chinese-American college classmate. I had the serious hots but was too socially awkward at the time to make a move and one of my classmates moved in. I went to see her for my birthday and she told me that it would have been possible, but not anymore.

Ironically my ex-wife does not fall into that category. That was a good thing that marriage ended.
 
Girlfriend of two years, 17-19 (I'm 21 btw)

From the get go it was terrible, I was terrible, I'd spent months pursuing her, all the while knowing she was in to me, knowing those months could've only been days. I was 16 then, in turmoil with myself, turmoil I projected onto the world and ultimately onto her. I wanted to be with her but it was such a hard thought to contemplate, I'd existed for years killing myself slowly, enthralled by the prospect of death, and yet, here was the first person to give me reason to hope, possibly even embrace life again in all of my memorable life.

I struggled with this duality, all I wanted was to be with her, make her laugh, make her happy and be there for her. I loved her. Unfortunately though this cataclysmic tear I found myself hopping back and forth upon only led me to hurting her in my unsurity of what was fundamentally the divide of my life and my death.

I slept with her best friend, I was inappropriate with an ex, and other girls, I'd hidden my drug use for the first year, and that wasn't pretty when it came out. I never trusted her, I was controlling and over protective. I harassed her when she left me. There's nothing I feel more shame for, I was a loving tormentor.

To this day I can't use social media, I just find myself scouring for her with a deep burning pain that I may actually see her face.

I loved her, I still do. But I changed her, I passed my trauma on to her and now realise I love a memory of a person who no longer exist. I never expect her to speak to me again but I just want to explain, I've had a lot of therapy since, I just want to explain.

Well that was a dive into me a little bit, my most honest truth and my biggest shame. I've not had a girlfriend since, I just can't.
 
We did MDMA together. We did cannabis. We did coke. The sex was (and still is) mind-boggling. I left him for another man, thinking I was better off.

He's now a well-known person in another country, known in a continent or two. Not a day passes by when I regret that I didn't choose to be with him. He's always in my thoughts and in my dreams. I hate it, but gawd I also love it.
 
I honestly do not have one! Yes I have loved a few people prior to this relationship but not like anything I have now.

I love my guy - he is pretty much everything that I could wish for.
 
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