ZaphodBeeblebrox
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2018
- Messages
- 51
Hi all,
Not sure if I’m in the right forum for this but could be, I have a puzzle that I’d love help solving.
So I’ve suffered from anxiety my whole adult life, am in therapy, work hard to manage it, blah blah, etc. I started taking Wellbutrin about a year ago which was a godsend, as I never thought my anxiety could be so well controlled, and have also been taking Kratom on and off for years now (but definitely mostly on).
About 2 months ago I got a cold, and took some DayQuil to mitigate the symptoms and push through it. Normal, right? However this bitch realizes that hey, DayQuil is AMAZING! It makes me feel so much better, my anxiety is almost gone (almost), I’m way more in tune with my own feelings and other people’s feelings than I was, I can break things down and just understand them on an emotional level which I was never able to do before. Colors are brighter, music sounds better, the sun is shining and god damn it if I’m not farting ranbows and skittles every fucking day!
but I’m like, hmmm.. wait. Is this me? Or is this the combo I’ve discovered? Well, the feeling doesn’t go away in the morning when I wake up but things have shifted so MUCH in my life at the same time -for the good- that it’s hard to know what’s causing this happiness. Is that what it is? Am I finally happy? Is that what normal people’s lives are like? Was I just in a grey cloud of depression for so many years and didn’t know about it (very well could be true given the timeline is the same as the onset of my anxiety), and am I finally seeing the world with positive-eyes?? Was it all my hard work at therapy, with my family, personal relationships, hygiene and all those things that finally paid off? Or is it a coincidence in timing for things to change in my life at the same time I start taking this new combo that’s doing it all???? My therapist says no, because for the most part those things were a constant for quite a while before this happened - less the dxm - and I was still not happy or feeling fulfilled. There’s also the fact that instead of feeling happy like you would on extasy or something I just feel like MYSELF again, after a very, very, very long time.
Well things have been going great. But then I get another cold (it happens during the winter, of course) but this time it’s staying with me. I’m getting diarrhea, and waking up at 5, 6, or 7 am ready to go with Excitement. but the anxiety is back because what if I’ve been doing massive damage to my body with this combination and it’s finally hitting me? Even though....my partner had the same flu/cold I did, and has the same diarrhea symptoms and is clearly not quite 100% recovered.
But is it me? Is it what I have been taking or is it the fucking flu?
then, I do some research and find this: https://www.psychcongress.com/article/novel-combination-drug-shows-promise-depression-treatment
Interesting right? So am I not the only person who has discovered this? If they’re testing it in phase 2 trials where outcome measures are change in depression, could it really be unsafe? They’ve completed phase 1 already to get to 2, so it must be, right?
My point is this. I finally FINALLY feel good. Not cracked out of my mind morphine high-type good, but just good, like myself, the way I used to be. In want to keep feeling this way of course but not in exchange for ruining my heart or kidneys or liver or something, so I’m trying to understand the damage I could potentially be doing to myself to weigh the pros and cons of continuing.
Hope someone responds, thanks for reading.
- Honeybadger dont care
Not sure if I’m in the right forum for this but could be, I have a puzzle that I’d love help solving.
So I’ve suffered from anxiety my whole adult life, am in therapy, work hard to manage it, blah blah, etc. I started taking Wellbutrin about a year ago which was a godsend, as I never thought my anxiety could be so well controlled, and have also been taking Kratom on and off for years now (but definitely mostly on).
About 2 months ago I got a cold, and took some DayQuil to mitigate the symptoms and push through it. Normal, right? However this bitch realizes that hey, DayQuil is AMAZING! It makes me feel so much better, my anxiety is almost gone (almost), I’m way more in tune with my own feelings and other people’s feelings than I was, I can break things down and just understand them on an emotional level which I was never able to do before. Colors are brighter, music sounds better, the sun is shining and god damn it if I’m not farting ranbows and skittles every fucking day!
but I’m like, hmmm.. wait. Is this me? Or is this the combo I’ve discovered? Well, the feeling doesn’t go away in the morning when I wake up but things have shifted so MUCH in my life at the same time -for the good- that it’s hard to know what’s causing this happiness. Is that what it is? Am I finally happy? Is that what normal people’s lives are like? Was I just in a grey cloud of depression for so many years and didn’t know about it (very well could be true given the timeline is the same as the onset of my anxiety), and am I finally seeing the world with positive-eyes?? Was it all my hard work at therapy, with my family, personal relationships, hygiene and all those things that finally paid off? Or is it a coincidence in timing for things to change in my life at the same time I start taking this new combo that’s doing it all???? My therapist says no, because for the most part those things were a constant for quite a while before this happened - less the dxm - and I was still not happy or feeling fulfilled. There’s also the fact that instead of feeling happy like you would on extasy or something I just feel like MYSELF again, after a very, very, very long time.
Well things have been going great. But then I get another cold (it happens during the winter, of course) but this time it’s staying with me. I’m getting diarrhea, and waking up at 5, 6, or 7 am ready to go with Excitement. but the anxiety is back because what if I’ve been doing massive damage to my body with this combination and it’s finally hitting me? Even though....my partner had the same flu/cold I did, and has the same diarrhea symptoms and is clearly not quite 100% recovered.
But is it me? Is it what I have been taking or is it the fucking flu?
then, I do some research and find this: https://www.psychcongress.com/article/novel-combination-drug-shows-promise-depression-treatment
Interesting right? So am I not the only person who has discovered this? If they’re testing it in phase 2 trials where outcome measures are change in depression, could it really be unsafe? They’ve completed phase 1 already to get to 2, so it must be, right?
My point is this. I finally FINALLY feel good. Not cracked out of my mind morphine high-type good, but just good, like myself, the way I used to be. In want to keep feeling this way of course but not in exchange for ruining my heart or kidneys or liver or something, so I’m trying to understand the damage I could potentially be doing to myself to weigh the pros and cons of continuing.
Hope someone responds, thanks for reading.
- Honeybadger dont care
