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Weird chilly feeling when I think of rolling

J

johnorr714

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 17, 2015
Messages
51
Hi guys, Just wanted to see if someone else feels this way. I haven't rolled for about 6 months now. The reason is because I am looking after my health for a bit, eating well etc. But I do plan to roll on my birthday that is coming up in few months. I stopped smoking cigs, even weed i smoke once a week or sometimes every other week.

So there are times that I am lying in bed and I am thinking of my next roll or i reminisce the times i have rolled, things i did, events and situations. And it gives me this chill all through my body and i am even cold. I have been doing this mostly every night, just think of times i rolled.

Can someone explain this feeling? :?
 
Hi John:

Experienced former raver here (though new to Bluelight). I'm in my 40's now but have rolled somewhere in the area of 150 times in my 20's and early 30's, and a handful of times since. I have experienced something very similar, and anecdotally I know of others who have as well. I would categorize what you are experiencing as a psychosomatic response. Basically, based on prior experiences of rolling, your body is likely reacting a little in anticipation, almost as if you have already ingested a roll. For me that feeling took the form of a slightly upset stomach and loose stool (yeah gross I realize) followed by a slight feeling of euphoria, tingling in fingers, and "butterflies" in my stomach. All of this would occur while I was completely sober. For me personally (and one friend of mine I know of) it only would happen when I was expecting to roll later that day, typically a few hours before, and not just by reminiscing about previous times, though I'm sure the feeling would vary among different people. I would think it could be impacted by other factors that affect one's mental makeup, e.g. imagination/creativity, left-handedness, whether you've had other psychosomatic responses, etc. I've never regarded this as any kind of health problem (I get a clean bill of health yearly, and as far as I know have not had any long-term adverse health affects to my less-inhibited younger days), though it could serve as a good reminder of the powerful emotive experience that MDMA can cause. Good luck and be safe!
 
jgently said:
Hi John:

Experienced former raver here (though new to Bluelight). I'm in my 40's now but have rolled somewhere in the area of 150 times in my 20's and early 30's, and a handful of times since. I have experienced something very similar, and anecdotally I know of others who have as well. I would categorize what you are experiencing as a psychosomatic response. Basically, based on prior experiences of rolling, your body is likely reacting a little in anticipation, almost as if you have already ingested a roll. For me that feeling took the form of a slightly upset stomach and loose stool (yeah gross I realize) followed by a slight feeling of euphoria, tingling in fingers, and "butterflies" in my stomach. All of this would occur while I was completely sober. For me personally (and one friend of mine I know of) it only would happen when I was expecting to roll later that day, typically a few hours before, and not just by reminiscing about previous times, though I'm sure the feeling would vary among different people. I would think it could be impacted by other factors that affect one's mental makeup, e.g. imagination/creativity, left-handedness, whether you've had other psychosomatic responses, etc. I've never regarded this as any kind of health problem (I get a clean bill of health yearly, and as far as I know have not had any long-term adverse health affects to my less-inhibited younger days), though it could serve as a good reminder of the powerful emotive experience that MDMA can cause. Good luck and be safe!
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Thank you for your great explanation and it makes a lot of sense. Btw the loose stool thing happened to me twice as well. Yes it must be the anticipation of rolling next time. Come to think about it I used to get the same feeling as I am driving to get the molly.

Personal question: Any reason you completely stopped taking Mdma even if it was once a year?
 
sometimes when i picture white lines my stomach drops like it did in high school thinking of my crush

it's probably trained response to anticipated or hopeful pleasure
 
Well I didn't say I had completely stopped :). But I've only done it 2-3 times in the past 8 years. The reasons are several:
1. I'm a parent and professional now and the risk (both legally and health-wise) of street drugs is largely not worth it. I'll make an exception if I get it from someone I trust and I've tested it myself, and even then I'll take a small sample first.
2. MDMA is a social experience, and as you grow older there are fewer and fewer people around you that are interested in joining in, unless you live in a place or social circle that finds it more acceptable. My wife doesn't enjoy it any more (too much risk for her) and so that means I typically don't either. The idea of flying solo and having to hide it from people is just not my idea of fun. Plus honestly, it's harder to get hold of for the same reasons.
3. The recovery is worse at my age. I'm pretty fit and youthful for my age, but getting out of bed after a roll is pretty tough, even with vitamins and other supplements. The sleep is never restful, and I have little ones to be awake and alert for. Toward the end of my usage of MDMA regularly (1-2 times a month?) I was getting frequent sinus infections (probably from all the junk in the air at parties, but MDMA does lower your immune response), and the last time I took some I got an ear infection. Again, the risk/reward balance just isn't there any more.
4. There is a little of the "been there, done that" feeling. I'm not probably not going to have any better memories than some of the outstanding times I had in the past at parties just dancing my nuts off to fantastic music, getting amazing neck and head massages from a girlfriend, being in a circle of friends in the same place, etc. An exception could be if my wife or a lover wanted to have some together; I try to keep a line on some "just in case" of that possibility.

I hope that is informative. There are just better options for a good buzz for this point in my life: the wife and I and friends enjoy a quality bit of bud every once in a while, or I've found 15mg of hydrocodone (when I come across it, not often) puts me in a really smoothly exuberant place. Philosophically I still don't have any problem with recreational chemicals, provided I'm smart about it, but it's just not on my radar in the same way any longer, and honestly I'm probably healthier and happier and safer for it, though I have not a shred of regret for all the good times in younger days.
 
jgently said:
Well I didn't say I had completely stopped :). But I've only done it 2-3 times in the past 8 years. The reasons are several:
1. I'm a parent and professional now and the risk (both legally and health-wise) of street drugs is largely not worth it. I'll make an exception if I get it from someone I trust and I've tested it myself, and even then I'll take a small sample first.
2. MDMA is a social experience, and as you grow older there are fewer and fewer people around you that are interested in joining in, unless you live in a place or social circle that finds it more acceptable. My wife doesn't enjoy it any more (too much risk for her) and so that means I typically don't either. The idea of flying solo and having to hide it from people is just not my idea of fun. Plus honestly, it's harder to get hold of for the same reasons.
3. The recovery is worse at my age. I'm pretty fit and youthful for my age, but getting out of bed after a roll is pretty tough, even with vitamins and other supplements. The sleep is never restful, and I have little ones to be awake and alert for. Toward the end of my usage of MDMA regularly (1-2 times a month?) I was getting frequent sinus infections (probably from all the junk in the air at parties, but MDMA does lower your immune response), and the last time I took some I got an ear infection. Again, the risk/reward balance just isn't there any more.
4. There is a little of the "been there, done that" feeling. I'm not probably not going to have any better memories than some of the outstanding times I had in the past at parties just dancing my nuts off to fantastic music, getting amazing neck and head massages from a girlfriend, being in a circle of friends in the same place, etc. An exception could be if my wife or a lover wanted to have some together; I try to keep a line on some "just in case" of that possibility.

I hope that is informative. There are just better options for a good buzz for this point in my life: the wife and I and friends enjoy a quality bit of bud every once in a while, or I've found 15mg of hydrocodone (when I come across it, not often) puts me in a really smoothly exuberant place. Philosophically I still don't have any problem with recreational chemicals, provided I'm smart about it, but it's just not on my radar in the same way any longer, and honestly I'm probably healthier and happier and safer for it, though I have not a shred of regret for all the good times in younger days.
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Again a great reply. I fully understand where you are coming from. That is one reason i slowed down too. Just health wise. And i feel it should be left for special occasions. For me it will be on my birthday. Thanks again for you input.
 
I get this - I can trigger it by remembering certain memories of raving etc. I can almost draw a parallel with PTSD (I know what this means, I'm not diminishing PTSD and I'm using it as a reference).

I have to admit - its normally a fight or flight reaction but with good memories attached (if that makes any sense).
 
Sounds like flashbacks if you ask me. I remember back when I was new to MDMA I'd be listening to music and a song would randomly come on that was played while I was rolling a few days back. When the song would come on I'd get an impulsive massive MDMA-feeling rush just like the rushes you get on MDMA (head and body tingling). One time I was sitting downstairs listening to the music channels and Porter Robinson - Language came on (this was like 2 years back). I'd just been to a festival and that song was like the 'break-through' moment for me when I was coming up and I distinctly remember rushing my tits off to the breakdown. Well, I was sitting on my sofa and a massive surge of tingles went from my brain all the way down my spine and around my body and I literally impulsively screamed without being able to stop. Luckily nobody was in the house to hear me rushing like a mong in front of the TV... Haha.

But anyways, sounds like you experience something similar it just happens when you think about MDMA. For me the tingly sensation always occurs when I listen to the breakdowns of music.
 
JWills20 said:
Sounds like flashbacks if you ask me. I remember back when I was new to MDMA I'd be listening to music and a song would randomly come on that was played while I was rolling a few days back. When the song would come on I'd get an impulsive massive MDMA-feeling rush just like the rushes you get on MDMA (head and body tingling). One time I was sitting downstairs listening to the music channels and Porter Robinson - Language came on (this was like 2 years back). I'd just been to a festival and that song was like the 'break-through' moment for me when I was coming up and I distinctly remember rushing my tits off to the breakdown. Well, I was sitting on my sofa and a massive surge of tingles went from my brain all the way down my spine and around my body and I literally impulsively screamed without being able to stop. Luckily nobody was in the house to hear me rushing like a mong in front of the TV... Haha.

But anyways, sounds like you experience something similar it just happens when you think about MDMA. For me the tingly sensation always occurs when I listen to the breakdowns of music.
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Interesting. Its funny you mention Music. There are times that a song will come on in a bar, radio or whereever. I get this weird feeling like i heard this music somewhere, than i remember oh ya i was rolling hard sitting front stage at a strip club lol
 
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