i would like us all to give evey our best wishes since we have decided to restrict her access to bl after careful deliberation amongst all levels of the community. we feel that her participation is counter-productive towards that of the communities. if you would like to communicate your thoughts on this decision than that is perfectly acceptable. however, if there is even the slightest hint of uncivil and disruptive communication either here or in eadd about this you will be dealt with using the highest order of the bl disciplinary system with extreme prejudice. all that we ask is we exercise some fairness, perspective and balance in our thoughts.
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European & African
Drug Discussion
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EADD Moderators: axe battler | Pissed_and_messed
we will wish evey the best
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Urbain
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While I publicly stated of my frustration that I had in terms of Eveys drama and disruptive behaviour, I wholeheartedly disagree with this decision.
This news will absolutely crush her, and is horribly counterproductive. BL is a harm reduction site, and here to provide support and guidance. While Evey is bloody annoying, she means no malice and is just lost in life. (Unlike Raas, who intentionally causes arguments, trying to force his opinions and beliefs, while insulting and bullying other members).
I do agree that there needs to be a line drawn in otherwise extensive efforts to help guide someone, while doing what's best for the site, but I don't think this is a good idea, at all.
This news will absolutely crush her, and is horribly counterproductive. BL is a harm reduction site, and here to provide support and guidance. While Evey is bloody annoying, she means no malice and is just lost in life. (Unlike Raas, who intentionally causes arguments, trying to force his opinions and beliefs, while insulting and bullying other members).
I do agree that there needs to be a line drawn in otherwise extensive efforts to help guide someone, while doing what's best for the site, but I don't think this is a good idea, at all.
curious_24
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Fucks sake. This will cause more harm than good.
Which is the lesser of two evils?
Which is the lesser of two evils?
Raasyvibe
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I agree with everything emboldened. rest was typical unrelated/unneccessary personal bollocks that you take opportunity to throw up in every discussion.
But yeah, rest of what he said was spot on. no malice in her whatsoever. shocking and cruel decision to make for someone who cared about the site and made an effort to get on. appreciate you are giving a chance for members to give an opinion though and remaining open-minded, that's admirable.
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Except they aren't.
One post has already been deleted.
This place should be renamed as the European, African and north Korean drug discussion.
curious_24
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Oh really? With extreme prejudice? Get over yourself, pal.
Inevitable, if a little sad.
For those arguing that this will cause Evey some kind of harm, I honestly believe you're overreacting. What's more harmful, continuing to let the (understandable) resentment toward Evey foment, as it has continued to do for a long time, regardless of any (marginal) improvements in her demeanour? Or making a decision which ultimately benefits the majority of the forum's users?
I think maybe there are some feelings of guilt fuelling this reaction, as I've seen some highly 'critical' posts about Evey from people who are now expressing their dismay at her ban.
I'm a firm believer that it's much crueller on the individual concerned (as well as the wider community) if the rules are consistently bent in order to accommodate them - it can often make them feel as if their disruptive behaviour is being validated to an extent (see Farmaz) and thus make them value their 'special' place in the community all the more. When they revert to their old ways (as Evey was consistently observed to do) and the consequent disciplinary action is taken, it has all the more emotional impact.
I'm sure Evey's feeling bad, and that's terrible, but just look at the last few days in Gibberings alone. That tells a far better story than I ever could.
And with that, eff yez all. Ní bheidh mo leithéid arís ann.
For those arguing that this will cause Evey some kind of harm, I honestly believe you're overreacting. What's more harmful, continuing to let the (understandable) resentment toward Evey foment, as it has continued to do for a long time, regardless of any (marginal) improvements in her demeanour? Or making a decision which ultimately benefits the majority of the forum's users?
I think maybe there are some feelings of guilt fuelling this reaction, as I've seen some highly 'critical' posts about Evey from people who are now expressing their dismay at her ban.
I'm a firm believer that it's much crueller on the individual concerned (as well as the wider community) if the rules are consistently bent in order to accommodate them - it can often make them feel as if their disruptive behaviour is being validated to an extent (see Farmaz) and thus make them value their 'special' place in the community all the more. When they revert to their old ways (as Evey was consistently observed to do) and the consequent disciplinary action is taken, it has all the more emotional impact.
I'm sure Evey's feeling bad, and that's terrible, but just look at the last few days in Gibberings alone. That tells a far better story than I ever could.
And with that, eff yez all. Ní bheidh mo leithéid arís ann.
that "extreme prejudice" comment was directed not at criticism of the decision. i just don't want people bashing her. that's all.
there already some pretty unfair comments. i have listened to absolutely every single person who has offered advice on this. staff members, members of the eadd community, admins, smods and i have done everything in my power to believe the behavior will change. i am actively trying to set aside, as much as i can, the precedent of bl not being a democracy. the consensus gathered is almost unanimous. there are always people who are going to disagree. it's not an admin decision. it's not my decision. it's a collective decision reached based on shockingly overwhelming consensus. i didn't delete that post. the member who published it did.
i have told evey yesterday that i feel bad for her. i really do because i know these behaviors are not in her control. it's been several years and she's been approached by almost every single person including myself to try and change her behavior. i even added her on my friends list and gave her words of encouragement. it would surprise everyone at the sheer level of discussion that has gone on the past several years about this. it's a drain on the communities resources. no one member is more important than the health of the community. this is a shared space.
there already some pretty unfair comments. i have listened to absolutely every single person who has offered advice on this. staff members, members of the eadd community, admins, smods and i have done everything in my power to believe the behavior will change. i am actively trying to set aside, as much as i can, the precedent of bl not being a democracy. the consensus gathered is almost unanimous. there are always people who are going to disagree. it's not an admin decision. it's not my decision. it's a collective decision reached based on shockingly overwhelming consensus. i didn't delete that post. the member who published it did.
i have told evey yesterday that i feel bad for her. i really do because i know these behaviors are not in her control. it's been several years and she's been approached by almost every single person including myself to try and change her behavior. i even added her on my friends list and gave her words of encouragement. it would surprise everyone at the sheer level of discussion that has gone on the past several years about this. it's a drain on the communities resources. no one member is more important than the health of the community. this is a shared space.
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It will surprise few that I fully support this action, although a selected few will not ever accept my genuine compassion for this individual and anyone who has not been on staff during this lengthy and difficult period will have to accept they do not know the half of what has gone on.
Sometimes the good of the many has to take president over the good of an individual, in this case I believe this is in part the case although I also do not believe BL, or indeed internet forums are a healthy influence on this person, history would seem to support my conclusion here.
Some perspective is required, someone has had their access to an internet forum removed, that's it ....they still have access to the internet, mobile phone and more importantly the actual real world.
IMO this isnt a case or a right or wrong decision but some kind of action was demonstrably required and endless other avenues have been explored but the cycle has continued and there is a limit to what an internet forum can achieve, there are other and IMHO more suitable avenues for this individual to seek to help they so clearly require.
Sometimes the good of the many has to take president over the good of an individual, in this case I believe this is in part the case although I also do not believe BL, or indeed internet forums are a healthy influence on this person, history would seem to support my conclusion here.
Some perspective is required, someone has had their access to an internet forum removed, that's it ....they still have access to the internet, mobile phone and more importantly the actual real world.
IMO this isnt a case or a right or wrong decision but some kind of action was demonstrably required and endless other avenues have been explored but the cycle has continued and there is a limit to what an internet forum can achieve, there are other and IMHO more suitable avenues for this individual to seek to help they so clearly require.
One Thousand Words
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I hope she realises she has an awesome daughter and takes her down to the park for an ice cream.
curious_24
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- May 23, 2009
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No guilt on my part, Sammy. Evey often drives me up the fucking wall, I've told her so more than once. That aside, I firmly believe that she needs this place much more than I do.
On a more positive note, welcome back Sammy. Stick around, aye?
On a more positive note, welcome back Sammy. Stick around, aye?
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StoneHappyMonday
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- May 10, 2001
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This.
No, you've banned her. Have some balls to speak correct English please.
Just a tad hypocritically.
She should have made more cancer jokes. Nobody even gets a point for those.
There is no consistency here. There is no leadership here. Regardless of whether you think the decision is right or wrong you'd have to be an absolute plonker to think its been done in the right way or at the right time.
You understand why I have a little sick in my mouth right now?
curious_24
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I can't stop crying this is such a sad BL day for WOMEN and EADD women specifically.
I'm emotionally gutted by this engineered man-powered sacrificial thread.
Shame on you, you BL men staff.
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