Hello all! This is my first post here on Bluelight. I've been a lurker for several years now, never really having the need to make an account or anything until now. I've played Russian roulette with opiates off and on for the past 5 years. For the first half of that 5 year span of spotty use, I got away quite lucky without ever developing dependence and decided it would be best to stay away from them and was clean for almost 2 years. Unfortunately - due to a series of horrible events including the death of a good friend, the death of my father about a month later, and a downward spiral at work that ended in me being unemployed for a bit - the insane amount of stress I was under had me picking back up my old habits.
At this point, I've found myself insufflating 45mg of oxy per day minimum to keep withdrawals at bay. 60mg if I want a slight buzz and a cozy nod. Now like I said before, I got lucky the first time around since my habit wasn't a daily thing, and I've never actually experienced full-blown withdrawal. The worst of it was several months ago when I realized that I was dependent. I decided that I didn't feel like taking one that day and by the time I was winding down to go to bed, RLS, hot/cold flashes, and the sweats decided that they were going to rear their ugly heads. I promptly called someone to fix the problem and then went to sleep a bit later.
I want to, no, need to get off of this crap before it destroys me. I'm running out of money to afford my habit and that money needs to pay for my college. I can't just watch myself do this anymore.
I will be the first to admit, I am a huge baby when it comes to feeling like that. I know there is pretty much zero chance of me being able to get through withdrawals without being in some sort of hellish agony one way or another. I am just hoping that there is an answer to making it much more tolerable, and that I can actually get my hands on what I need to do just that. Please, please help me.
At this point, I've found myself insufflating 45mg of oxy per day minimum to keep withdrawals at bay. 60mg if I want a slight buzz and a cozy nod. Now like I said before, I got lucky the first time around since my habit wasn't a daily thing, and I've never actually experienced full-blown withdrawal. The worst of it was several months ago when I realized that I was dependent. I decided that I didn't feel like taking one that day and by the time I was winding down to go to bed, RLS, hot/cold flashes, and the sweats decided that they were going to rear their ugly heads. I promptly called someone to fix the problem and then went to sleep a bit later.
I want to, no, need to get off of this crap before it destroys me. I'm running out of money to afford my habit and that money needs to pay for my college. I can't just watch myself do this anymore.
I will be the first to admit, I am a huge baby when it comes to feeling like that. I know there is pretty much zero chance of me being able to get through withdrawals without being in some sort of hellish agony one way or another. I am just hoping that there is an answer to making it much more tolerable, and that I can actually get my hands on what I need to do just that. Please, please help me.