Wanting a healing and loving mushroom experience

[Sweetbeefaerie]

So I have found this man that I am completely in love with. I want to connect deeper with him and really break down some walls and barriers we are both putting up due to past hurts, and I figured when these "fun guys" came our way that they'd be the perfect avenue for this. I have only ever experienced these types of things with a past lover who very seriously hurt me throughout our relationship and made a lot of these experiences feel scary and out of my control. So I'm a bit nervous going in. My boyfriend has never experienced these things with the intent of growing closer to someone or doing any sort of self-work. It's always been simply a recreational thing for him (which of course, it is quite fun so I can see the appeal).

Basically I really want to encourage him to go into this experience with the intent of self discovery and healing, or whatever it is he feels he needs. He really values that I am big on self discovery, but he doesn't seem to feel the need to pursue it for himself. I think he'd really benefit from doing so, especially because he needs a tremendous amount of healing due to family issues and a lot of guilt and regret weighing him down daily. I really want him to have these things lifted from his shoulders as it effects his moods and how he feels on a day to day basis.

I feel almost as if it's my duty as his lover and partner in life to really help him start on his path to self discovery (or help him realize he is on that path already), but I'm not sure how to go about it. I'm sure in the moment that I'll just go with the flow of it, but I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions or ideas on how I might go about this?

 

[Frydea]

My first thought is that mdma might be better for what you're looking for than mushrooms.

 

[transitionsynth]

The only red flag for me in this situation as you've described it is that you say he isn't self-motivated to pursue self-discovery. It needs to be his choice, not yours. Trying to force it on him may make him defensive and the whole thing may go very badly. Part of self discovery is realizing autonomy.

It is absolutely not your role as lover and life partner to get him to change. That is just inviting some kind of resentful feelings if you approach it that way. The only way is to lead by example, let him see the results and make his own decisions. Helping him on his path is part of your duty, but it must be absolutely self-initiated or it will never be real for him.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

you can't force these experiences and expect them to result from any particular session with drugs. they happen when they happen and thats it.

 

[Firth]

I like the though of tripping with a SO but apparently you're going to be more apparent to their flaws, however, when I was lying in bed deep in an acid trip listening to John Lennon I felt COMPLETELY different than that, I was carefree and could accept absolutely anyone for who they are, wasn't aware of peoples flaws; I just accept them because they are people. Very nice feeling when you're ego is so softened. I was lying there in tears thinking about meaningful lyrics and it felt so, so good to get them out and write down all of my emotions. Maybe I'll trip with someone who is close to me in an intimate relationship some day... It sounds like it has potential to be an absolutely beautiful experience providing you trip well together...

 

[rolllinlikeroyce]

Wait for HIM to approach you about this kind of thing. Obviously he's well aware that you have an interest in spiritual experiences from psychedelics, and if/when he feels ready for that kind of thing, he'll let you know. Personally, of all of the psychs I've tried, LSD seems best for this kind of thing. LSD taught me more about myself, my various personalities, and my relationships with others than any other drug I've tried. I would highly suggest starting with that, if possible, because the effects of acid and mushrooms are quite similar. However, it's very easy to "lose yourself" (not necessarily a bad thing!) on mushrooms, and it seems to produce uncomfortable feelings more easily, though the experience may seem more profound. Mushrooms, for me, are more like returning to my primal state, the state before birth (ego softening/death, in other words). It's usually quite mystical/magical. LSD can do the same thing, but I almost feel extremely lucid when on LSD, and it's much easier for ME to organize my thoughts. In other words, LSD helps me connect to MY life and the lives of those I care about, while mushrooms tend to help me connect to LIFE ITSELF.

Of course, it all depends on what kind of experience you think would be better (or rather BOTH of you think would be better), it's really up to you. Someone mentioned MDMA, and that can produce some magical emotional connection, but from my experience, those feelings feel fake. Like once the magic wears off, you begin to question how meaningful the experience was. Psychedelics seem like a much more viable solution because it sounds like you want to become closer "in the long run." MDMA to me, is like 5 hours of making the best friends in my life and loving everyone, to going into that downward slope and the sadness arises, then after the comedown I feel like "was any of that even real?" Typically I get at least 2 weeks of afterglow and a "clearer perception on life" from mushrooms or LSD. That's just my 2 cents.

Sounds like you really care for this guy. As I said, wait for him to approach YOU about it. Talk about your past psychedelic trips. You may even help him to integrate his recreational trips into something more meaningful. If it sounds like something he really wants to experience, then by all means go for it. Even if he has a difficult experience, I always feel like there is something to be taken from every trip, and he should be fine with the reassurance that you will be there to support him. Making sure he's comfortable with where he's at and who he's with will be the easiest way to guarantee his trip will head in a positive direction. Hopefully things work out for you, and, if he feels like he's ready, I hope he has the kind of spiritual awakening that you're both looking for.

 

[peanut 801]

My first thought is that mdma might be better for what you're looking for than mushrooms.

I agree with this. MDMA is an empathogen (root word being EMPATHY) so, that's pretty much the route i would personally take for the experience you are seeking. Mushrooms for self discovery/emotional connection/ couples therapy..? Unless you are VERY experienced with mushrooms its doubtful the 2 of you will even get close to the result that you're wanting. As someone else mentioned LSD might get you both to the point that you're wanting to be but, I definitely would not suggest mushrooms IMO.

 

[Nom de Plume]

Fungi aren't sentient. Eating a certain quantity of mushrooms won't magically induce a desired state of mind because you willed it to. All psilocybin/psilocin does is alters your state of consciousness. The chemical simply goads one into that altered state. Now, once within that domain of altered consciousness, the mushroom's work is done; it does nothing further. It's then up to the individual and himself alone to achieve or not achieve what it was he wanted to experience from the drug.

Supposing that these maudlin, sentimental feelings are contained within the mushroom itself is to set oneself up for disappointment and anxiety. Ask not what the mushroom can do for you, but what you can do for the mushroom. Or something like that....

 

[the_ketaman]

I haven't tripped in probably years and have 3g of potent P.Subaeruginosa I.e subs and am hoping to do some self work. Im a meth addict, an opiate addict & a benzo addict and I need to figure out why? Why am I so powerless when it comes to drugs?

I don't expect it to fix me but I do think I can get something out of it. I haven't had mushrooms but plenty of LSD, RC's & other psychs and havent had 'bad' so much as 'difficult' ones & they seemed the most productive. I just hope im not expecting too much.

Would having pure MDMA with it help as LSD+MDMA is amazing to me.

What do you think?

Btw ill be off all meth, benzo & opiates for a week before except methadone.

 

[GolemGolem]

Could be good but the fact that you had a previous SO who hurt you, and who you had bad trips with. . . .Good chance you could need more healing than your current SO is ready to guide you through, esp if he's outta his head too. Don't wanna scare the poor boy do you?
Maybe MDMA is a better idea for a first go chemical couples therapy? Then take it from there. Or just eat low doses together in a spirit of fun? Or take a big ol' dose by yourself and have him sit for you if he's willing.

 

[f33lg00d]

You sound like my gf, who I'm tripping with for the first time together soon... Some people don't wanna get deep and just want fun, gotta deal with that can't force it.

 

[Sweetbeefaerie]

Could be good but the fact that you had a previous SO who hurt you, and who you had bad trips with. . . .Good chance you could need more healing than your current SO is ready to guide you through, esp if he's outta his head too. Don't wanna scare the poor boy do you?
Maybe MDMA is a better idea for a first go chemical couples therapy? Then take it from there. Or just eat low doses together in a spirit of fun? Or take a big ol' dose by yourself and have him sit for you if he's willing.

I think you are very right actually-We've tripped together once already but it was with 2c-i and was way more of a talkative, light hearted experience. I didn't even consider the fact that I needed healing still until last night we ate a pot cookie together and I ended up having to go hide in our room..and I'm pretty sure I freaked him out a bit because I was having this ridiculously intense experience that felt like different things were being healed..but I wasn't in a state of mind where I could interact and I think that scared him. I need to figure out how low of a dose I should take...

Also I do agree with the rest of you that you can't force this kind of stuff, and that's not at all my intention. I agree with the person that said to lead by example-that is probably the only way to do it without "forcing" anyone. It'll happen when/if it should

 

[bridgesii]

I think if you had to run and hid because of weed you need to be around him more before you take a serious trip together. I think it would be helpful if you are able to, to be nude around eachother also, it should help you guys feel comfortable around eachother. If it were me I would take many light trips with him first before even even considering a stronger one. Before you have a strong trip together you should know eachother good enough that you don't need to do much verbal communication. During the strong trip you should keep talking to a minimum, talking and telling eachother about your lives is not for a strong trip, talking just doesn't work too well when you are tripping really hard.

You should look into getting some cactus, mescaline seems like the best option

 

[Sweetbeefaerie]

I think if you had to run and hid because of weed you need to be around him more before you take a serious trip together. I think it would be helpful if you are able to, to be nude around eachother also, it should help you guys feel comfortable around eachother. If it were me I would take many light trips with him first before even even considering a stronger one. Before you have a strong trip together you should know eachother good enough that you don't need to do much verbal communication. During the strong trip you should keep talking to a minimum, talking and telling eachother about your lives is not for a strong trip, talking just doesn't work too well when you are tripping really hard.

You should look into getting some cactus, mescaline seems like the best option

I wholeheartedly agree with you. Mescaline is actually a very special and sacred thing to my heart. I have taken it more than any other psychedelic because at one point I had access to it constantly. I miss those days-truly magical. No other way to describe them. Changed my life and my heart forever. The terrible thing is...and this may sound very wimpy, but I truly, honestly don't think I can eat the straight cactus anymore. I used to have the powdered cactus and it tasted so horrible and you'd have to eat so much and there was just no way to make it better...my ex became convinced eventually that we needed to take the cactus a few times every month because he kept thinking we needed to fix this or fix that and he would pretty much force me to eat the cactus and I really had trouble at that point-even being in the room with the cactus made me gag like I was going to vomit, and god forbid I put it anywhere near my nose or my mouth-that for sure would cause immediate vomiting. The cactus soon left us, I believe because of how my ex was using it...I felt he was greatly disrespecting it by trying to force it on me.

I want very, very badly to take the cactus again with my new lover because I do feel the need to be closer to him. My ex and I, as terrible as he could be, we felt 100% comfortable with each other and that was because of the cactus being there at the start of our relationship. it's basically was jump started us in the beginning. It feels weird to be so in love with someone but not feel that same amount of comfortably with them. My new lover is shy and has many walls up from past hurts and people judging and bullying him. I want very badly to break through those walls but I don't want to force it and I don't want to make him feel like he is in any way doing something wrong by having those walls up.

I would love to take an extract of mescaline, but I'm not sure how to obtain it safely (I am in no way computer savvy enough to do buy it online anywhere so I've put that option out of my mind) and I could try doing the process myself but even then..I know there's not all the alkaloids in a full extraction. I've tried a full alkaloid extraction before and the tar even made me need to vomit just by looking at it, like the actual cactus did... lol I really am a bit of a wimp now...