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Want to move but I'll miss my friends

R

relocating

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Have any of you moved away? I want to move away 500 miles its for college and because my dad is selling up and going on a road trip around the country, so I must decide if I want to live in this state or the state where I am happy. Every time I visited I always known I had wanted to live there. It is such a great place to be. People aren't drug fucked and its nice and quiet where I can study for the next forseeable 5+ years... but I will miss my friends too much. Does any older people have some suggestions? Once I move there I can't really come back, I want to go there because it is a great place with great people who are very nice to me, just anyone on the street is nice, but I'll miss my 5 friends who mean the world to me.

Has anyone been in this situation? Did they make the move? Were they happier for the better? I just feel that anyone I meet from here on in will be my friend and that will be good, but they wont be the people I know that I grew up with, that I have all these familiar memories with. Of course I will make new memories with the people that I will meet on my new adventures, but once I move I pretty much won't have anymore contact with these people. I don't think they'll be driving or flying all the time so I think I will be flying there to see family every 3-6 months and I'll most likely see them too while I'm there. But it won't be the same.


I feel kind of scared about it, like a chapter in my life will be closing and I will be starting fresh, starting anew, and no one will ever really *know me*? The people I grew up with saw me and met me but as I'm older now, I won't know anyone that knows me, it'll take years to get to know and trust people again, because those 5 friends were from heaps that I knew from a large area but due to distancing/time/unforgivable events those large groups of people I used to socialize with turned into 5 people I regularly kept in contact with.


I'm just scared. Scared for the future. Can anyone relate here?
 
yeah. it sucks at first. but like anything in life you get used to it, you meet new people, and chances are you'll forget about the vast majority of your old friends. you'll probably only stay in touch with 1 or 2 of the friends who really mattered. humans are wired to adapt to change. read this book. it will help you loads.

anonymous -> second opinion
 
It does suck, but you can't stay in one place forever if it is good for your future. Make sure to get out and meet new people, but stay in contact with old ones. It will be hard but you can do it.
 
If you believe that it is good for you and a great place, then you should do it. Life is ever-changing and you have to learn how to let go and adapt.. you 'will' meet new people and make new friends.. there will be a period of sadness or grieving as though you have lost or let go of a part of your life but it will also be an opportunity for something new..

I can sort of relate, i moved to the other side of the world for almost one year.. didn't know a single person. Over time i made new friends, came to love the place i was living in and essentially built a whole new life.. i would keep in contact with some old friends but i started to realise that i was moving in a different direction and the events and actions that helped build and shape my past friendships were activities and interests that i was moving away from..

This was the point in my life where i began to realise that you have to put your interests and priorities first, and then let everything else fall into place.. and it will.
 
I grew up in San Diego, when I was 32 (married with kids) I moved to Washington state. From forever sunny to forever cloudy and raining LOL Got divorced pretty much as soon as we got there. Was there 20 years, loved it, created a whole new set of friends. Moved back to SD a few years ago, while the weather is awesome, and the chicks in bikinis is even better, I'm missing washington and my friends. Even though I grew up in SD and thats where most of the family is, Washington feels more like home now. I moved to North Carolina for 3 years during that 20, went and worked for a NASCAR team, made TONS of friends all over the country, met the girl of my dreams there too :) You never know what will happen or who you'll meet. Go experience life, I dont have any regrets about moving to those places :)
 
Hey OP, I think you should go for it.

I had a similar opportunity when I was 19, moved away for college but ended up dropping out and moving back home. A big reason was I wanted to be around all my friends, among others, but that was a big one. Well, truth be told, 2-3 years after that most of the group had split up, moved off, or just didn't come around anymore. IME, in your early 20's is when people really start becoming their adult selves. I think we all wish we could have been friends forever, but interest change, people hook up, break up, fight, and so on. So whether you move away or not, you still may end up losing a lot of your friends. In time, one way or another, you end up weeding out the bad friends and holding onto the good ones. Things are going to change one way or another, it's a bummer but you have to look forward.

Moving away is a great chance to start fresh. It is a bit daunting at frist being that no one knows you and you don't know anyone, but it's not totally a bad thing. That means you can sleep with pretty much any girl and not be hurting a friends feelings, that means no one knows who you are so when you do something stupid people won't even know you name to make fun of you, and at first everywhere you go is a new place to check out and explore. Tons of new people to meet since EVERYONE is a new person and potential friend, and in my experience people tend to be fairly accepting of new people. Take this as a chance to explore part of your personality maybe you were too shy or afraid to express at home. Dive deep into things that interest you and find other who have the same passion.

There will always be a special connection between your friends that you grew up with, but as you get older I find that I need connection with people who have the same passion as me. Most of my old friends just happen to be in the same group of friends, like neighbors and shit. The people I really desire to hand out with now are people who are just as passionate about the things that I am. Unless you are extremely lucky, more than likely your high school buddies aren't them- maybe 1 or 2 of the,=m
 
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