• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Vent/Rant Thread vs. Don't get in my way

Status
Not open for further replies.
^ Ill clean out my inbox hit me up with a PM please. I would be more relived if you did not end your life. Anytime you can PM me <3 much love

Greeneyes
 
A good friend of mine died in high school many years ago. I had a color picture of her and lost it years ago. All I have is an old black and white photo I made years ago, and you can't really make out much.

My memory is horrible from years of oxygen deprivation and various drug use. I just realized I can't even remember what she looked like anymore. And I have very little memories of being with her at all. I'm afraid pretty soon, I won't remember anything about her... makes me sad.

I've lost others, that were closer, but those were all more recent &I have photos and my wife to talk about them tho.

/rant
 
^The visuals of memories fade with time.
I know this too all two well.
The feelings you shared is what is important.

Seems like our other senses may be little more reliable.
I can smell a certain smell and it can take to a feeling about a place in time instantly.
I may not be able to make out the people clearly, but I sure do remember the feeling--

(Sorry if I got in your way :) )
 
So true!
About the senses, it just happened to me today... I felt like I was back in time 10 years ago when I smelled someone's perfume next to me at a grocery store.
 
^
Know what you mean.
One of my favorite smells is fresh cut grass.
Its not that I "love" the smell of cut grass,
its I love the feeling it reminds me of when I was a little child.
Sound can work like this too.
A certain song can take you back in time instantly.
 
Last edited:
^Anytime I smell rubbing alcohol I equate it with injecting so I always get excited.
Same with albums. So many remind me of different parts of my life. I often listen to one when I want to relive happy/sad moments.


No worries about getting in the way. I just wanted to rant.
You're one of the people on here who's opinions I respect anyway.
 
methamaniac said:
^
Know what you mean.
One of my favorite smells is fresh cut grass.
Its not that I "love" the smell of cut grass,
its I love the feeling it reminds me of when I was a little child.
Sound can work like this too.
A certain song can take you back in time instantly.
Click to expand...

Yes, mine is a little bit like yours but the smell of the grass when it rains after a while. I makes me feel good I don´t know why..
 
Smoky said:
So true!
About the senses, it just happened to me today... I felt like I was back in time 10 years ago when I smelled someone's perfume next to me at a grocery store.
Click to expand...

This happened to me when I went to a shop that just had been painted. The smell placed me back ages ago when we were moving I was still a kit. I´ve smelled painting before but that one in particular, in that day, snowy and all made me fell immensely nostalgic..:(
 
i am lost no longer know what to do don't want to be here any more pushed myself to the limits last week hoping that i would be so drained that when i took the etzi and other sleepers that would be it but no i am still here ive got nothing worth living for other than charlie jack my cat but i can't stand the waking up alone anymore the no prospects no family or friends sod all but him

all ive wanted all year is just not to wake up on a morning my dreams are screwing me over each night im going insane with it all i think fentanyl is the next thing its all i can see doing the job
 
methamaniac said:
^
Know what you mean.
One of my favorite smells is fresh cut grass.
Its not that I "love" the smell of cut grass,
its I love the feeling it reminds me of when I was a little child.
Sound can work like this too.
A certain song can take you back in time instantly.
Click to expand...

True, it's the feeling underneath the senses perhaps. I sometimes put on specific music just so I can instantly re-experience a former feeling from my past.
 
DrinksWithEvil said:
Worrying bout my hep c and alcoholism and how to get the money to rid anyone of them
Click to expand...

Dwe, That must be frightening to deal with.
I am going in for hep C tests this week… Some of my friends have cleared it … but my x lives with Hep C. Are you having physical symptoms of alcoholism?
 
Alcohol and hep C are quite dangerous together. If you have hep c, don´t drink.
Hep C is treatable and some people can have that cleared totally and forever.
Hep C has no symptoms. It can go silent for decades.

I guess, if it was me to judge, I would take care of the alcoholism before hep c.
It´s imperative that you do, so you can beat hep. C later.
 
Last edited:
If you dont treat Hep c keep an eye on it.
Its progression can change quick.
Alcohol and hep c is like gas to fire.
I beat hep c back in 08/ 09
Thankfully ( looking on bright side) i had type 2 genotype which is one of the "easiest" types to clear. Six months of treatment with pegylated interferon and RNA inhibitor.
Had my last follow up test this year.
5 plus years PCR still undectable (if you dont know a little about Hep C thats huge)
Doctor says 99.99 percent cured. I can deal with those odds.

The treatment side effects sucked. But with out a doubt doable.
Strangely after few weeks you get used to feeling run down from treatment. When you come off treatment its like a constant high for a litle while.
They've came long way with treatment now.
Honestly imo treatment was a breeze compared to MD wds.
( MD survivors will understand)
But pain is all too relative.
Ive had my fair share. People who say addicts are weak have no clue.
Being healthy is my new drug.
Starting slow with this new addiction.
The doses seem to last longer.
 
Last edited:
^That's really great. I know some that treatment worked for and others that it did not work for--it seems so arbitrary. Was really hard on one friend that said it was bad enough having it but he had a little core group that also had it that gave each other support through the years. He not only did not respond to treatment but had a hard time sharing the elation of those it cured (inside of course; on the outside he showed nothing but happiness for them).
 
herbavore said:
^That's really great. I know some that treatment worked for and others that it did not work for--it seems so arbitrary. Was really hard on one friend that said it was bad enough having it but he had a little core group that also had it that gave each other support through the years. He not only did not respond to treatment but had a hard time sharing the elation of those it cured (inside of course; on the outside he showed nothing but happiness for them).
Click to expand...

It depends on what subtype of the virus one might have. But it´s possible to beat it.
Some are easier than others.
But if you stick to the therapy and lose all the alcohol the chances are increased.
It´s a bloody 18 months treatment. A lot of discipline and no drugs, no alcohol.
After you get all cleared up. Need to wait for 5 years. If it shows nothing than it´s okay. You are cured so to speak.
Besides, in between this period all your liver exams will be okay, meaning that it´s back working as it should.
But one has to be quite strong to take interferon that much for that long, even if it clears out on the 12nd week you must continue for a full year.
Sometimes do another 52 weeks until you get it done.
It´s fucking difficult to do this treatment as it messes up your head, you become moody and irritated. Still have to show up to work everyday.
 
foolsgold said:
i am lost no longer know what to do don't want to be here any more pushed myself to the limits last week hoping that i would be so drained that when i took the etzi and other sleepers that would be it but no i am still here ive got nothing worth living for other than charlie jack my cat but i can't stand the waking up alone anymore the no prospects no family or friends sod all but him

all ive wanted all year is just not to wake up on a morning my dreams are screwing me over each night im going insane with it all i think fentanyl is the next thing its all i can see doing the job
Click to expand...

I'm sorry to hear you are in this place. I wanted this a few months ago for myself, to just not wake up.. I'm still here and might stick around now... my thinking is changing. It can change for you perhaps, other options are available besides the fentanyl.
 
OK I try to stay outta TDS but i gotta come here for the proper thread to post this in. I need vent lately i've been doing it talking to myself out loud, gotta stop that and you'll find out why if you continue reading.
I may be making anyone who can hear me including the family i live with crazy which im not.
I was diagnosed with a few disorders a while ago and I thought it would make life easier if i just said "ok your write im crazy, nuts fucking batshit insane".
Thought it would give me a easy way through life, plus get the "good" meds.
So now a decade later i got kicked outta my psychiatrists practice and now doctors part of the care plan i have through the local hospital and affiliated practices (no insurance, free appts, discounted RX's etc) and none of the others doctors will see me for some reason.
Its ok though cuz i seriously dont have the issues diagnosed.
Glad to be off the meds i thought would be the "good" ones cuz they suck.
Now that i milked it for so long and everyone knows about it it is almost impossible to convince anyone im not "crazy".
I guess it will just take some time to prove (i hope).
If i cant, cuz now that i tell them im fine they seem to act like they think im worse than i was and it makes me realize i never should have acted like i was.
Didn't know shit about the diagnosis' so looked em up online and studied them.
Was kinda like a script of how to act and i practiced and i guess was good at acting.
Then i went to jail one time and because of the diagnosis' i got in the medical block with the people who really had problems, more studying mostly of how they acted.
Then got out and was even better at it i guess.
Im done rambling now but the point is it was a bad decision PERIOD, i regret it.
I guess i just needed to vent cuz people on here are open minded unlike the people im surrounded by.
I dont need advice, im just frustrated and talking out loud to myself might make me look like the diagnosis' are true, which they're not.
Plus im trying to be a nicer person to people, especially my family who i have been an asshole to for the longest time and i shouldn't have been cuz if it wasnt for them i donno where the fuck i would be in life.
Unfortunately im not good at being nice to anyone, and im practicing as i go.
No one is used to me ever being nice so they might think its unlike me which it kinda is but im trying my best to change for the best, but when im frustrated for various reason i tend to revert back to asshole. Then i go in my room think that its not worth it to try to change, but i ultimately decide to keep trying.
Whatever im sick of typing and there is my vent for the day.

/rant "vent".

-HOOD
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top