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Vent/Rant Thread vs 3 (Triggering Content)

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Thanks star.

It's a metaphor. I've been on 'life support' getting nowhere, getting nothing but hurt over this girl and she dosent relise it. So I pulled that 'cord' out which is the line we communicate through. Now I can be left in peace. Sorry, didn't mean to make anything sound suicidal.
 
I understand now. You had me wondering what it meant. Sometimes that's a step forward, even if it's hard right now <3.
 
I know it's the right thing to do. It was a month ago when I cut her out, unfortunately I had to say some mean things to her to try and get her to cut me off instead.

Does anyone know how to block emails? I swear you used to be able to do it.
 
You used to be able to on AOL, but other than that you can't.. you can have them sent to spam though.
 
Thanks guys. I'm still using a hotmail account with outlook. Seems marking it as spam is the only option.
 
floatingaround said:
I know it's the right thing to do. It was a month ago when I cut her out, unfortunately I had to say some mean things to her to try and get her to cut me off instead.

Does anyone know how to block emails? I swear you used to be able to do it.
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Nope I am in the exact same situation as you floating.. it seems we both were with really manipulative women.. they are the pits by the way.. she couldn't even manipulate me.. she even manipulates her own thoughts to make her think she is some fucking mentally healthy angel who does nothing wrong. All her problems are because other people treat her like shit.. She really personifies the definition of a double standard.. she want to be treated awesome while she treats people like shit, not in her mind but in reality, she want s to be number one in someones life while having that person as dead last, she wants all kind of effort put forth in the "relationship" while she puts out none, she wants really good sex but isn't mentally healthy enough because of body image issues to have any such sex, she wants to be treated with respect and kindness but thinks only in manipulation.. she expects monogamy when she is not monogamous, she wants people to be at her beck and call and there to do things for her when she wants but yet she places everything she has going before anytime is given to me, she wants an amazing relationship but puts no effort into it except to expect the world. She thinks people are so dumb, but the reality is that people see right through her delusions and that is why she is treated like shit, she takes no fault ever and blames all the problems she creates on others.. delusional, defective, miserable, and lonely is where she will stay until she is able to fucking wake up in reality.

she doesn't want a realtionship she just wants to know that someone wants her.. I went out on haloween and ran into three ladies.. One I really was atracted to and she seemed the same, one who was atreacted to me and she was ok, but still a hard partier so thats out, and another I didn't get to know that well.. well the manipulative angle got word and then she was all ablut a good time.. she was just cock blocking with her pussy.. how lame is that. Anyway I love how she says I will have a tough time finding a woman.. yeah right keep dreaming8)

Sorry for the little rant but I needed to get that off my chest and thought you may be experiencing some of the same.. if you are your not alone.. and I have tried to block her from Emails and could not find a way. If you do please let me know. Hang int there cause any communication from sick manipulative clowns like these will only make you feel angry or at least thats what it does to me..

I have my life back from allot of things I was held back by, Im going to go out and find a healthy happy woman if I can and put this utter nightmare in the memories to be avoided section of my life. I hope you can do this as well.

floatingaround said:
Thanks guys. I'm still using a hotmail account with outlook. Seems marking it as spam is the only option.
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I tried that and her stuff still got through. that was with Gmail though.
 
Would you be able to just cancel the account and sign up for a new one?
 
Appreciate the reply NSA.

Damn, your one sounded like a fucking handful bro. Your dead right with saying 'manipulating her own thoughts' couldn't agree more. And it is always other peoples problems.. Not many times after arguments she ever comes around and says sorry, it's always me doing it.

Unfortunately the situation is a bit different. She's got multiple guys who are after her, basically all her guy friends like her it's fucked but I can see why. She has never been able to be completely clear about the truth as hard as is it. Communication and honesty are my main prioritys in a relationship and when she wasn't clear(and I made it VERY clear that communication and honesty are a big deal) she would just walk all over that the next day..For example. I'd ask her what she's up to and she would say 'just out' then I'd ask doing what? And she would say 'dw' or 'it dosent matter' I just can't have that thrown at me constantly..

Anyway I feel I've left the rage stick alone now after smoking a few leafy marihuana cones. I sent her a final email saying "You should never have sent me that email on New Years. I said we shouldnt talk for a long time because of this exact reason.

Do not email me back plz.

Bye."

Now I can start moving on and hope she dosent message me again. I would like to talk in the future, but where not on the same page and we can't be friends ATM so the only way to let feelings from both sides run dry is time. And plenty of it.

Hey Maya. That could be possible tbh. I would have to see what important emails I'll need to save.

Just want to say how appreciative I am towards all you guys aswell. You've made me feel like I belong here and you all make my day better.

FA
 
I have a gmail too and when I mark it spam, the emails should go to the spam box upon receipt afterwards. I like what Maya said, use a different email account. But yeah, I can relate to this problem cos I have an ex who has been in a bad health situation and not working. I have helped him out a few times and it feels awkward now, today I had to turn him down. I just don't have money like I used to and looking for work as well. I feel like the only time I hear from him is when he needs something.
 
Hi,

If you get AVG anti virus (it's Free, just Google it) it has some very useful features including mail, calls and text blocker. You can even choose what sort of reply it sends if you want more than just a block. For example: Some company kept cold calling my mobile, relentlessly. I put AVG on my mobile. So, when they called next, AVG automated voice says: This person is now deceased. They stopped calling.

BTW, please tell me, because I can't help but wonder, what is meant by "cock blocking with her pussy"? I just don't know what that means.
 
Maya,

I couldn't do it. I got clean 2 weeks ago and I relapsed this afternoon. After my SSRI induced hypomania (which occurred two months ago) I began rapid cycling. I've been depressed the last few days and it was just too much this morning. I couldn't do it. After relapsing I went to a guitar store and played for a bit- some nice acoustics. I forgot how much I missed music. I filled out a job application, then called an old "friend", invited him over, gave him two bags just for being there, just for erasing a small piece of my loneliness, and did absolutely nothing besides insufflate/swallow/smoke oxycodone, dope and xanax. And now I have no money at all. I was mostly just very angry with myself, but the anger has faded to complete euphoric apathy.

Basically I am very high, in the midst of a mixed affective episode and alone. Though on an upbeat note, this is my 5th relapse, and it has induced what I believe may very quickly become a hypomanic episode! So I'm out of depression for the time being and I can feel now- I'm no longer quite as high. Thanks for asking :)
 
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I would like to welcome you to bl then :)

Don't worry you are welcome to post anything that will help a fellow bluelighter. It's not really about the age that matters but your willingness to support others that are needing. Mostly, the content of the post is what you will aim for and not how long it should be hehe so don't hesitate to help others I might be needing some advice also in the future you never know ;)

As for your current condition, would it be feasible for you to change medication? You have no idea how many times I've relapse but hey I am still here fighting. Don't think you can't do it always say you can
 
Haha I'm very sorry I do get a little carried away length wise... It's nice to have safe (even if digitized) people to talk to for a change!

Hmmm my bipolar, obsessive-compulsive disorder (from which I am in successful recovery) and opioid dependence are three separate illnesses, as far as I can tell. I do and have generally always used opiates to treat them, but I also use them because, well, I'm an addict. I've managed each illness without opiates in the past. Right now I feel so happy and I don't want it to stop. I know I can quit. But psychologically speaking I'm determined to use, so I tell myself I'll fail so that I inevitably do. I tell myself all sorts of things to rationalize using, I guess it's common.

I think I'm going to try again after I use everything I have. When that time comes, I'm going to try meetings again. It's just being so alone that kills me. And this is definitely an oversimplification, but I believe meetings are in part designed so that people don't have to be alone.

"Ever tried, ever failed, no matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." -Samuel Beckett (<-- That's the spirit!)

P.S. For anyone that's wondering, I moved my impromptu introduction to the TDS "Say Hello!" thread, so that's what most of Maya's last post is referring to.

P.P.S. Then I'll be on the lookout for your posts, Maya! ;) Thanks again :)
 
It is very common indeed.

I guess for me I've always been paranoid about my health so every time I use it also stresses me out so what's the point. I'd rather just not touch it than go through a hell lot of anxiety and keep comin back to the doctor and I don't think it's worth the pain and stress so I am managing to just do other things. I am addicted to exercising at the moment and I am quite proud of myself that I am able to control this now.
 
That's really awesome! You should be proud of yourself, that takes an enormous amount of courage and hard work to manage and control!

I'm the polar opposite, every time I use it removes all of my stress and anxiety and I simply no longer care about anything.
 
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