Using MDMA after emotional turmoil

[Zcourge]

Hey!

Let's say I have experienced extreme stress combined with a diagnosis of mild PTSD, so a latent psychosis broke out. It could happen even the best.

I had a pretty bad assault at some point, that's why a diagnosis of mild PTSD. So that's why a stress induced psychosis broke out. Today I consider me PTSD free, would rank low on CAP scores today. Have no health problems today, consider me pretty stable. Or any health issues in my family except my manodepressive brother.

Haven't done anything since two years back. Because I wanted my brain to repair itself, and go back to normal. Now I'm anxiety free and all. My life is pretty well and I'm happy.

Though I was a bit of a MDMA user. Have rolled about 40 times and it have been good so far. Now I'm thinking a bit more of the risks of using since I have grown up a little, and being more careful, would it be dangerous to consider using MDMA again? After my psychosis? I mean who doesn't experience health issues some point in their life, sorting it out and do drugs in a responsible way and are OK?

Just looking for some harm reduction tips and some helpful answers on my situation. Since I only find MDMA the only pleasurable drug to do. I'm not into alcoholic beverages.

Sorry if the grammar isn't perfect. My main language isn't english.

So, some helpful answers would be great! Thanks!

 

[Sublimo]

It's a tricky thing. My medical knowledge about psychosis is not good enough to know if this could be harmful for you.

What was this psychosis like for you? What did you experience?

MDMA can bring up of a lot of unresolved stuff from the subconscious, that is why it is such a useful therapeutic tool. But I can also see it triggering that part that caused a psychosis in you. Do you really know it is solved?

 

[Zcourge]

It's a tricky thing. My medical knowledge about psychosis is not good enough to know if this could be harmful for you.

What was this psychosis like for you? What did you experience?

MDMA can bring up of a lot of unresolved stuff from the subconscious, that is why it is such a useful therapeutic tool. But I can also see it triggering that part that caused a psychosis in you. Do you really know it is solved?

I don't really know if it was a "real" psychosis. It broke out after i resolved some hard stuff regarding my PTSD. I thought I had telapatic communication with an ex friend, who was not happy I climbed up his balcony at 05:00 at night and slambered his door. Although it happened just once, and when I got confronted with the police I began to think rational again.

Could be just a temporary thing, due I experienced a lot off mental pressure at that time, and was medicated with a high dose benzo, which could trigger hallucinations, and mental confusion (though very rare). Now I'm fine. So I don't know. I rate my health higher than drugs, but I would be very sad if I never could roll again in my lifetime.

Also I would add, I'm a bit afraid of it would bring some up some subconscious things to the surface, but I'm a very experienced user if you count that. Especially with cannabis and MDMA. I'm always planing set & setting, and MDMA always brings up positive memories for me, and a very strong and deep emotional side to relationships. That's why I prefer doing it with fiends, but what if something comes up that I don't want - Let's put it this way, I could just reframe it then, analyzing it, and be happy about it?

I was a regular smoker with cannabis and everything has been good. Though I don't like it anymore. Also I've been tripping a handfull of times on psychedelics and went good. Maybe I'm analyzing the risks too much? What do you think?

Maybe I should just wait for the perfect day, opportunity to roll again. Start small and see for myself. A very tricky situation indeed.

My theory on the psychosis is that it was caused by PTSD, they say it can trigger reactive psychosis due all stress. That's what I think. So the trigger wasn't drugs.

Also, I think it's resolved since I haven't experienced a such thing like that again. It happened just once. And I'm PTSD free now, comically and paradoxically thanks too just MDMA.

Isn't the key just set & setting? If Im around people I like I wouldn't bother going into my pysche more about deeper stuff, I just want to have good rolls with friends and people I like.

My personally thoughts on psychosis outbreak is that it's just a mental lock, so you wouldn't go crazy.

Now I'm not even sure if it was a psychosis, it could just be a result of very high mental pressure - mental breakdown, so my mind went crazy. I haven't been experienced any strange symptoms which the criteria has. In that case that doesn't break you makes you stronger? Different with psychosis though.

However, they say drug induced psychosis have a good prognosis. So if I happen to get some of that, it will be gone in the long round. I'm a little bit confused of my situation.

 

[Sublimo]

First I'd like to say that I appreciate your way of analyzing yourself. Now, lets see how far we can get.

I just checked the Wikipedia page about psychosis for a general definition. This definition describes psychosis as a loss of contact with reality, characterized by unusual and bizarre behavior. I think your experience fits the description. But that doesn't necessarily mean anything at all.

Which specific benzo? I woudn't be suprised if your outbreak was caused by the combination of mental pressure and the use of a benzo. I had some weird experiences myself with alprazolam, and I know of at least two more persons in my friend group that had a bizarre experience from using benzos.

Also I would add, I'm a bit afraid of it would bring some up some subconscious things to the surface, but I'm a very experienced user if you count that. Especially with cannabis and MDMA. I'm always planing set & setting, and MDMA always brings up positive memories for me, and a very strong and deep emotional side to relationships. That's why I prefer doing it with fiends, but what if something comes up that I don't want - Let's put it this way, I could just reframe it then, analyzing it, and be happy about it?

My own thought process would be exactly the same if I would find myself in your situation. I have absolutely nothing to add to this.

Also, I think it's resolved since I haven't experienced a such thing like that again. It happened just once. And I'm PTSD free now, comically and paradoxically thanks too just MDMA.

I'm a little bit confused, earlier you mentioned that you hadn't used any MDMA since your psychosis, but you still had PTSD at the time of the psychosis. Right? So, how did it go away by just MDMA? Or did I miss something?

Isn't the key just set & setting? If Im around people I like I wouldn't bother going into my pysche more about deeper stuff, I just want to have good rolls with friends and people I like.

I agree. If you would be my friend I would probably try it with you. Maybe find an anti-psychotic that can be safely used with MDMA, just in case. (I don't know if there are any but I can look that up.) I have a friend that had a psychosis outbreak from using to much amphetamine and benzos at the same time. After a day we gave him haldol, afterwards he was fine.

I think I can't tell you anything you didn't already know. All things considered I think it will be relatively safe to try it again, in the right environment, with the right people. I'm not a specialist in this area, nor truly experienced with these kind of situations. So whatever you chose, be safe! And tell us afterwards how it went.