Used to love psychedelics, but don't know if I should trip again

[rolodex propaganda]

I've had a long and complicated relationship with many psychedelics, going back about 7 years. I used to trip a lot, as often as once per week or even more about 5 years ago. Since then I have changed a lot as a person, and I've seen psychedelics affect a lot of people in very different ways. Most of my friends, even those who were very serious trippers like I used to be, have lost most interest in psychedelics. They say they got what they wanted, and see no reason to go back.

I would on occasion use 2c-e to help me make decisions, or get through rough points. 2c-e has never been a very introspective trip for me, although it may be somewhat introspective, it's mostly just synaesthesia, followed by a feeling almost like being reborn on my best trips. I used to take opiates and benzos also, but a very heavy 2c-e trip (50-60mg insuff'd) got me off all of that for good. I learned that opiates and benzos were sending me on a path of self-destruction, and 2c-e showed me to stop. 2c-e also helped me almost completely get over a serious relationship the day after it was over... The best trips really can be like being reborn.

As much as I loved 2c-e, most of my trips began with that terrible nose pain, and vomiting. The come-ups were often very rough. I don't think I've ever had a completely bad trip, but I've had bad parts of otherwise good trips. After a while, I got so sick of the nose pain from blowing it, and didn't like taking it orally either because I just felt a high oral dose of 2c-e would last WAY too long. I didn't really mess with low doses (<20mg) of 2c-e very often. I used to be all about the insane synaethesia it induced.

My interest in psychedelics shifted as I didn't want to hurt my nose like that again, or trip for so long. For a while, shrooms and DMT were my thing. But neither brought me the synaesthesia or rebirth feelings that 2c-e gave me.

Now I haven't tripped in almost two years. I'm going through a somewhat rocky period now... It's all because I was arrested, and soon I have to make a decision on whether to take a plea bargain or roll the dice and go to trial. Jail is very unlikely, but remains a distant possibility. Nevertheless, if convicted, my life may change in a number of ways.

This is my longest break from psychedelics since I took that first hit of lucy. It's been almost two years without tripping. I think the time may be right soon for another trip, but I'm worried about getting stuck on thinking about my case, and freaking out. I've had a lot of anxiety lately... I always have, but lately it's been particularly bad. I won't consider taking benzos or any other sedatives during a trip, or even having them available to abort a freakout.

I only ever had one mild freakout on, DMT, which was a few minutes of panic. Anyway I'm worried about hours of panic from a freakout on something longer lasting. My best friend had a violent freakout on ~200mcg lucy (yes it was lucy, Ehrlich doesn't lie) which makes me even more worried about freaking out. DMT definitely isn't what I need right now. I love shrooms but I'm worried they are too insightful. I love 2c-e but I'm worried about the rough come-up and the nose pain. I'm somewhat introverted and wouldn't want to have a trip sitter if I do this.

As you can probably see, I'm very indecisive and I'm always second-guessing myself. Maybe tripping again would do more harm than good... or maybe it's just what I need. Maybe 2c-e would be better, maybe lucy or shrooms would be... I just don't know. 50mg 2c-e insufflated was the most amazing and life-changing experience I have ever had, but oh god was it a pain getting all that up my nose. MDA/MDMA are available too, but I haven't taken them in a long time either. I'm really not interested in any drugs right now besides something to make me trip... So should I trip or not? If I do trip, what's best? Thanks for the feedback.

 

[St3ve]

I usually advise people to not trip unless they are sure they want to. Being worried about getting worried during your trip will make it more likely that this will happen. At the same time you've tripped a lot in the past, I'm sure you've got an idea on how to control the trip a bit. Maybe start of with a lower dose and add more later once you get a feel for which direction it's taking you in.

On the other hand rough trips can be very insightful. It might not be a pleasant experience, but at the same time there's a chance you'll get something good out of it if you're forced to do some real intrspection. Feeling horrible during a trip usually means you'll feel wonderful once it's over.

 

[Just A Guy]

Yeah, I agree with St3ve. Truthfully, you'll have to make this decision yourself. But if the main reason on the "Do it" side is to gain insight, and the main reason on the "Don't do it" side is the possibility of a bad trip, I would personally go for it. lol

But change your mindset before you do it, or you might push that fear into reality. 8(

 

[rolodex propaganda]

Yeah, I agree with St3ve. Truthfully, you'll have to make this decision yourself. But if the main reason on the "Do it" side is to gain insight, and the main reason on the "Don't do it" side is the possibility of a bad trip, I would personally go for it. lol

But change your mindset before you do it, or you might push that fear into reality. 8(

I know I want to trip again. I just want to plan it perfectly so my paranoia and anxiety don't ruin it, and potentially leave me off worse than before.

How do I "change my mindset?" It used to be so simple; I used to be able to meditate so easily, but now my mind is so full of worry about how probation might or might not change my life, and whether or not I will be convicted. All over a fucking weed charge, and it's almost legal where I am. I don't want to spend my whole trip thinking about how much the system sucks.

So I wonder whether I should eat shrooms, lucy, or 2c-e... or insufflate 2c-e again.

Maybe mda and/or mdma could help me get the right mindset? I haven't taken anything in a long time but one of my best trips was mdma+2c-e

 

[perpetualdawn]

You want to trip again, so do it.

An easy way to change your mindset will be to go in carefully, so that there's nothing to be intimidated by. There's no reason you have to dose big, you've already been there. If you used to do 20mg+ of 2c-e, try an oral dose of 6-8mg to get your feet wet again. Sounds like 2c-e is your jam, so why not go back to it, at a lower level. Maybe you'll be a bit underwhelmed and want more next time, but at least you'll have re-aquianted with the psychedelic realm and you can find out if you want to work your way up to higher doses.

I'd say don't insufflate 2c-e again, sounds really painful and that it has made your trips unpleasant. Pop it in a gel cap and give it some time to come on (like a couple of hours).

 

[yepyepwoah]

plug it. will eliminate long come up (less time for anxiety), most likely minimal nausea, no nose pain. it's the bees knees.

do you have a felony or misdemeanor? the thought of going to trial is a bitch. two years ago I took a plea vs going to trial on a pretty serious felony. I was allready locked up though, not sure if I could have taken a prison sentence (on something that was in reality just a misdemeanor... long story) while still being free. To this day I am super glad I took the please. Sure I'm a felon now, but I am allready out. If I had lost my trial I could be locked up for a decade plus easy. I think the 5 months I sat in jail pondering my decision were the most stressful of my life...

All i can tell you is to ask yourself how much time you think you can do. If you lose what are you likely to end up with, can you live with that knowing you could have taken a plea and been on probation. If you take probation do you honestly think you will violate? Will you continue using marijuana and fail a drug test? Personally, my mindstate at the time is I will violate probation most likely and the judge will throw the book at me and I'm fucked. I wouldn't have even considered probation.

Are you in fact guilty of the crime you are accused of? Unless you have the best criminal lawyer money can by, a person taht never loses a case, if you are guilty and you know it, onlly play with these people to a certain point...

anywho. I say do some psychedelics. I just took mushrooms for the first time ina few years. Was terrified b/c of some things taht have happened in the past. Meditated pretty serious before. Basically making my intentions more than clear, begging for relief from my doubts and fears. Asking to be shown this and that. I got every single thing I asked for. Had a pretty good convo w/ what felt to be the mushroom spirit.Was so incredibly beautiful. reminded me a bout what the fuck is really going on, and gave me the strength to continue living in this nightmare we call reality. thank you again panaeolus cyanescens.

I say the mdma/2ce combo sounds like a winner.

 

[JackiePeyton]

Same boat here, except it has been much longer. I have some AMT and I don't think I want to touch it unless God comes down and tells me to