hey all. haven't logged on here in ages. in a pickle somewhat and needed to get feedback/vent about it. I apologize if this is dark side material also, unsure which it would fit better.
EDIT: Let me state the direction of the post more clearly. I believe i may need to get back on benzodiazepines, that i may have developed a "disorder" through abuse when younger.
Been struggling the last year. It has gotten to the point where it causes me to not leave my house. I get physical affects from trying to cope with my nerves in public. I had been trying to manage my anxiety without medications, and it has kinda splintered my life away. I wasn't on benzo's for legitimate reasons as a kid(18-27). I just lied to the doctors said i would bring a note back from a psych that didn't exist. Shot myself in the foot right there, i know.Convinced myself the high dose benzo's were the problem i got on a taper plan last october, got clean. That was all swell, i did it with the help of a detox dr(that system is something else, but that's for another thread..). Went from there the all natural route, weed and kratom. THC started to even affect me negatively, i would just sit around and smoke a check away like its nothing. I am now realizing that THC and I just argent compatible like that, and that's cool with me. i mean i am 29 now, its time to step up.. But i still need to be functional to make a living in this world, you know. I recently got laid off my job doing an apprenticeship as an electrician. I was battling that anxiety every day, needless to say, I wasn't winning the battle. Never even late, never missed a day, but they could tell i had been perturbed by something. Since i got off it has been very noticeable when i get frazzed. Its to the point where i dont care if they have to put me back on a anxiolytic, but i wish to take advantage of therapy options primarily.. Trying not to be too down about my circumstances. Anyone had any similar experiences? Thanks for listening.
EDIT: Let me state the direction of the post more clearly. I believe i may need to get back on benzodiazepines, that i may have developed a "disorder" through abuse when younger.
Been struggling the last year. It has gotten to the point where it causes me to not leave my house. I get physical affects from trying to cope with my nerves in public. I had been trying to manage my anxiety without medications, and it has kinda splintered my life away. I wasn't on benzo's for legitimate reasons as a kid(18-27). I just lied to the doctors said i would bring a note back from a psych that didn't exist. Shot myself in the foot right there, i know.Convinced myself the high dose benzo's were the problem i got on a taper plan last october, got clean. That was all swell, i did it with the help of a detox dr(that system is something else, but that's for another thread..). Went from there the all natural route, weed and kratom. THC started to even affect me negatively, i would just sit around and smoke a check away like its nothing. I am now realizing that THC and I just argent compatible like that, and that's cool with me. i mean i am 29 now, its time to step up.. But i still need to be functional to make a living in this world, you know. I recently got laid off my job doing an apprenticeship as an electrician. I was battling that anxiety every day, needless to say, I wasn't winning the battle. Never even late, never missed a day, but they could tell i had been perturbed by something. Since i got off it has been very noticeable when i get frazzed. Its to the point where i dont care if they have to put me back on a anxiolytic, but i wish to take advantage of therapy options primarily.. Trying not to be too down about my circumstances. Anyone had any similar experiences? Thanks for listening.
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