Mental Health Unrelenting suicidal ideation

[zombiesarepeaceful]

I too, swing wildly between feeling like I should be in a hospital and feeling like I can handle shit on my own. For me, the struggle is with anxiety attacks that make it feel like I'm dying.....not suicidal thoughts. I just wanted to share that I know what it's like to swing constantly between feeling like I should be in a mental hospital and then not. I don't know what's wrong with me or how to fix it. Some days I think, "I just want to get stable." But other days I think, "no, don't be a bitch. Handle it on your own." It never stops spinning and I want it to all stop spinning. I have had suicidal thoughts years ago though. Those thoughts were honestly more comforting than this crushing anxiety that I feel daily now.

Stay on top of your mental health and take care. If it means getting hospitalized, so be it. The only reason I haven't gone to a mental hospital is a) I have no insurance and b) I can't afford to miss work and lose that income or even worse, lose my job as a result of missing work.

 

[cj]

I too, swing wildly between feeling like I should be in a hospital and feeling like I can handle shit on my own. For me, the struggle is with anxiety attacks that make it feel like I'm dying.....not suicidal thoughts. I just wanted to share that I know what it's like to swing constantly between feeling like I should be in a mental hospital and then not. I don't know what's wrong with me or how to fix it. Some days I think, "I just want to get stable." But other days I think, "no, don't be a bitch. Handle it on your own." It never stops spinning and I want it to all stop spinning. I have had suicidal thoughts years ago though. Those thoughts were honestly more comforting than this crushing anxiety that I feel daily now.

Stay on top of your mental health and take care. If it means getting hospitalized, so be it. The only reason I haven't gone to a mental hospital is a) I have no insurance and b) I can't afford to miss work and lose that income or even worse, lose my job as a result of missing work.

Yeah sometimes the thought of being hospitalized is comforting and sometimes it is terrifying. Mostly I just don't want to put my family through the stress of another hospital stay. On the other hand my mom found a post on Reddit I accidentally left open on a shared iPad about how I was planning to kill myself which of course caused drama I was trying to avoid.