Unproportionally bad wd's

[Metamphnethylamine]

I've been on heroin for about ten months. At first I'd only use occasionally but started hiding shit I didn't wanna deal with behind it. After a couple months it became a steady daily habit. I had been on meth for about 8 months but used vitamin therapy to prevent A LOT of neurotoxicity. (Acetylcarnitine, taurine, quality multi, vit d, tyrosine, tryptophan, ashwaghanda, magnesium, coq10, whey protein 50g 2xday and once I stopped taking bc heroin became too expensive and I chose that over my supplements, my feeling from meth changed DRAMATICALLY and tailed off in less than a month and while using supps comedowns were virtually nonexistent and it took 50mg to properly geek off the meth orally every day in day out dependably really really euphoric like rolling and it was like this since I started, once I stopped the supps within two weeks it took 100ish mg to just feel normal in the morning. I believe the supplements were a huge reason I kept that newbie tolerance for 8months. No I can smoke a gram in a day like its nothing special though I binge in three day cycles and that needs to stop but I'm a junkie, no needles never will, but these drugs took everything that once was gold to me and I let them do it to me.) Back to heroin. Started with China white(spoiled I know) it only took a few specks at first to get ill from being too high. After a month bumps became lines and 100mg went from lasting a week to lasting two days. And I capped it there for about three months. Until the first withdrawals. Holy shit. It's chemical torture. That restless feeling is the very thing I've tried to get away from my whole life and you're telling me that's life now without heroin? The China white plug started to dry so varying potency of blk tar became the go to. Realizing how tolerance escalates so quickly, I stopped using more and started just using to feel normal. Made two points of black 200mg that is last 3-4days being somewhat buzzed but mostly it just became baseline to enjoy my eight ball of meth every week. The Crystal is usually pretty good I'd say at least AT LEAST 40-60% pure no less but most of the time I'd argue it's over 80% maybe even high 80s as my boy who don't mess with it, kimda uses it like I do the heroin, only needs a third of a grain of rice to get on with crystal, though he shoots..anyways I'm at the last 6months after having stopped using heroin for 3 weeks using 60norcos 60tylenol 3's and a point of China to wean off. Took a month but minute amounts of China with 2-3 norcos 2xday until both gone then used 2-3 tylenols each twice a day. And the withdrawals were nonexistent. But the post acute withdrawal depression even still using crystal was horrendous and I started using again ring careful to use a point in three days and stop for 3days. That lasted 3weeks until it was daily again and has been for the last 5-6months. I've had withdrawals so many times during that period and it's debilitating to where rolling over in bed is too much energy bending over to put my socks on is too much effort so I just manage one sock and say f*** it and wear one sock.

My question.....goddamn rambling again

Anyways....does that sound right for a point every three days habit? Albeit it's quality quality stuff as far as I can tell. Smoking 2-3hits gets me pretty high and I do that 3 times a day. Money is scarce so I always hit wd's before I get more. It's been like this for 5months. It seems like I get just as dopesick as people doing half a gram in a day. I am sensitive as hell to psychotropics...half a beer gets me a head change. I'm ready to stop and live a normal life but quitting crystal is terrifying. The withdrawals from heroin suck but it's the post acute part that likes me because I get so depressed. Not to mention my mom just got diagnosed with cancer and I wanted to come clean to my parents when I moved back home having fucked up my job income and stability but just wanted to drown my regret in drugs and I've been using under their roof the whole time and I feel like garbage about myself and now that she's sick I can't break the news another of her kids got addicted to meth but outdid my sibling I got addicted to heroin too all before droppin outta college and they got their degree first. My mom needs hope and strength to get through this and I feel like I have to conquer my shit myself so she can hers. Is that crazy? At least I have a clean legal record. Right?

Anyways why are the withdrawals so horrible and what helps with paws or post acute withdrawal syndrome as that is why I always relapse. Oh and in an addict in general smoked pot then dabbed for 8 years. Drank daily for a year. Did Coke daily for a year or so. Switched to meth. Then added heroin. I used to like drugs. Now all I have are addictions and I feel stuck in a losing battle. Idk what to do anymore