Zephyn
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2020
- Messages
- 2,054
so the past 3 years has been a cycle of rehabs, medications, hospitals, relapses, drug binges, short periods of sobriety and adjustment to coming off the meds, then back into institutions that force me on drugs. this has left me feeling nearly unable to function without meds, while still not relapsing. i didnt used to need an antidepressant or mood stabilizer, just 3 years ago. im 28, a little old to suddenly get bipolar. but i swear, i cannot feed myself or get out of bed many days. granted, my life situation isnt perfect and would make anyone a little depressed, but even when it starts to get better i dont feel relieved. im in a constant state of dysphoria, which seems to get REALLY bad after just a little bit of alcohol, i didnt used to be so sensitive. am i rapid cycling bipolar? am i in withdrawal from stopping seroquel 4 days ago? am i still dealing with issues from mirtazapine or zyprexa i stopped a few weeks to a month ago? some doctors ive spoken to think it was irresponsible to diagnose me with any sort of mood disorder when i had been abusing stimulants and had not spent 6 months sober yet, and that stuff like long term olanzapine due to some drug induced psychosis isnt neccessary. is it possible i did some kind of brain damage and am just permenantly burned out? i find it hard to talk to people or get myself to do anything