Mental Health ugh

[Zephyn]

so the past 3 years has been a cycle of rehabs, medications, hospitals, relapses, drug binges, short periods of sobriety and adjustment to coming off the meds, then back into institutions that force me on drugs. this has left me feeling nearly unable to function without meds, while still not relapsing. i didnt used to need an antidepressant or mood stabilizer, just 3 years ago. im 28, a little old to suddenly get bipolar. but i swear, i cannot feed myself or get out of bed many days. granted, my life situation isnt perfect and would make anyone a little depressed, but even when it starts to get better i dont feel relieved. im in a constant state of dysphoria, which seems to get REALLY bad after just a little bit of alcohol, i didnt used to be so sensitive. am i rapid cycling bipolar? am i in withdrawal from stopping seroquel 4 days ago? am i still dealing with issues from mirtazapine or zyprexa i stopped a few weeks to a month ago? some doctors ive spoken to think it was irresponsible to diagnose me with any sort of mood disorder when i had been abusing stimulants and had not spent 6 months sober yet, and that stuff like long term olanzapine due to some drug induced psychosis isnt neccessary. is it possible i did some kind of brain damage and am just permenantly burned out? i find it hard to talk to people or get myself to do anything

 

[Snafu in the Void]

am i in withdrawal from stopping seroquel 4 days ago? am i still dealing with issues from mirtazapine or zyprexa i stopped a few weeks to a month ago?

how long have you been on APs? I've heard of people having really nasty withdrawal, I never experienced any myself, though.

some doctors ive spoken to think it was irresponsible to diagnose me with any sort of mood disorder when i had been abusing stimulants and had not spent 6 months sober yet,

doctors are so fucking different man. None of them seem to agree ESPECIALLY when it comes to dual diagnosis mental health combined with addiction.

The last doctor diagnosed me schizo AND bipolar after I had been sober a few weeks. Oh he also gave me, a schizo, amphetamines which is generally inadvisable. I loved that doctor, though. He was a bit weird.

stuff like long term olanzapine due to some drug induced psychosis isnt neccessary.

I absolutely agree. I took them way longer than I should. They never really helped at all anyways... for whatever I have (also drug induced)

is it possible i did some kind of brain damage and am just permenantly burned out?

Possible brain damage? Yes.
Permanent? No.

IT. WILL. GET. BETTER. trust me

i find it hard to talk to people or get myself to do anything

Same, brother... and to be honest the only thing that helps that dysphoria go away... the ONLY thing other than drugs, is motivating myself to do something productive and exercise. When I accomplish stuff even as simple as cleaning the house or doing laundry and exercise my dysphoria melts away. That's always the last fucking thing I want to hear when I'm in a low state.... but it is the only thing that actually helps me. Believe in yourself more and stop letting the doctors influence the totality of your life.


how long have you been sober man?

 

[Zephyn]

I've been off coke/crack/meth for a few months, and off heroin for like 6+. All the relapses in the past 3 years since I got into the hard stuff have been short lived. I woke up today feeling a little better. Really wondering if I'm bipolar or something.

As for the meds I've been on and off ofthem, longest taking them was like 90 days, but on and off them can't be good for my brain chemistry.

Forcing myself to exercise would probably help but difficult when I can barely get up and feed myself, plus I'm a heavy smoker

 

[Snafu in the Void]

Forcing myself to exercise would probably help but difficult when I can barely get up and feed myself, plus I'm a heavy smoker

I know. But trust me. It will help more than you think.

Try to find reasons to do it, not reasons not to.

Bro I used to smoke reds DURING my jogs lol. Not even joking.

 

[Jabberwocky]

so the past 3 years has been a cycle of rehabs, medications, hospitals, relapses, drug binges, short periods of sobriety and adjustment to coming off the meds, then back into institutions that force me on drugs. this has left me feeling nearly unable to function without meds, while still not relapsing. i didnt used to need an antidepressant or mood stabilizer, just 3 years ago. im 28, a little old to suddenly get bipolar. but i swear, i cannot feed myself or get out of bed many days. granted, my life situation isnt perfect and would make anyone a little depressed, but even when it starts to get better i dont feel relieved. im in a constant state of dysphoria, which seems to get REALLY bad after just a little bit of alcohol, i didnt used to be so sensitive. am i rapid cycling bipolar? am i in withdrawal from stopping seroquel 4 days ago? am i still dealing with issues from mirtazapine or zyprexa i stopped a few weeks to a month ago? some doctors ive spoken to think it was irresponsible to diagnose me with any sort of mood disorder when i had been abusing stimulants and had not spent 6 months sober yet, and that stuff like long term olanzapine due to some drug induced psychosis isnt neccessary. is it possible i did some kind of brain damage and am just permenantly burned out? i find it hard to talk to people or get myself to do anything

Sadly this happens. I was diagnosed adhd by a GP fed stims as a child and wondered why I had mood disorders later on. That said I doubt your burned out. You need to get some oxytocin with your dopamine. You need fitness routine and healthy food and any doctor that gives you a script and accepts money and does not tell you that is a legal dope dealer. Period. My doctor told me he can give me whatever I like. Which he has. It solved none of my issues. That’s not to say you don’t need meds. I can’t say that I’m not a doctor. But trying fixing the things you can before going into a doctor that basis diagnosis off nothing tangible other then the DSM 5

 

[Jabberwocky]

Sadly this happens. I was diagnosed adhd by a GP fed stims as a child and wondered why I had mood disorders later on. That said I doubt your burned out. You need to get some oxytocin with your dopamine. You need fitness routine and healthy food and any doctor that gives you a script and accepts money and does not tell you that is a legal dope dealer. Period. My doctor told me he can give me whatever I like. Which he has. It solved none of my issues. That’s not to say you don’t need meds. I can’t say that I’m not a doctor. But trying fixing the things you can before going into a doctor that basis diagnosis off nothing tangible other then the DSM 5

And even then a one size fits all doesn’t treat an individuals mental illness so all the meds they pump into you is trial and error cause they really don’t know what works. Until you take the spectrum until you find something that helps.