If you're on 16mg a day then no opiates are going to get through that. Also I'm not trying to be a dick as I also have chronic pain, but your not at a level 10 of pain. 10 is the worst imaginable pain you can experience and when you tell a doctor your pain is 10 they have a tendency to not believe you.
Yeah, they don't believe ya when you say much past a 7 as depending what is wrong with you they already know how much pain a person should be in. Granted some have a high tolerance for pain and others have a low but they know how the body responds to injury so they pretty much know how much pain you are in. Someone passing a kidney stone is worse off than the guy with a broken wrist.
Good point and not trying to be a dick. Subuxone is unfortunately a hit or miss with people. Was a complete miss with me even at the max doses of 32 mgs a day, I just could not feel 100% but I definitely was never at a 10 or an 8?
Hey! I'm sorry I didn't clarify my pain scale in my last response. I usually wake up 3-5 some days less than 3. The reason for this, however, is little cause for celebration. I wasn't in pain because for the last 8 hour my body was laying still and doing nothing, but breathe and rest my muscles.
Clearly, laying in bed and remaining non active is incompatible, unhealthy, and would quickly destroy my sons childhood, my marriage and my employment.
Every morning I wake up, and I try to realistically cram as many physically taxing "to-do's" on my daily list , without over doing it in fear of activating the very pain I plan my entire life around.
Around 12:30pm to 1pm that's the time I know how much pain I'll be for the rest of the day. This is the time I take 1 or two subs depending on how extreme it is. Usually at this time 7-8 is a guarantee. However, her medical emergency. which you'll soon read, details specifically that my pain had surpassed 10.
If I even THOUGHT about standing up straight, this jolt of pain was experienced. Pain beyond 10.
Usually the moans and groans and panic tend to give the actual 10's away.
This is when I switch lists and begin tackling the errands which I can virtually complete, including tasks from my job. (I work from home thankfully. I have been fired consecutively from three different cashier jobs, with different supermarkets). Why was I fired? Because standing for hours and hours was causing my sciatic nerve, and mid to upper back to go insane. I believe the constant weight shifting from right leg to left is what seals in my fate of how much agony I'll endure for the remainder of the day. I asked my managers If I could use a bar stool of some kind even just to lean on it, I showed them my doctors note to validify my request, even suggested they contact the Dr.
Well, they each pretty much told me that I'm what's wrong with "millennial's" nowadays. I'm lazy, don't want to endure hard work, entitled and was called a brat to my face by one.
By the time my son and I get to spend time together, I unfortunately can only "play" if I'm sitting or laying on my bed on one side. I feel like this pain has robbed him of so many precious adventures we could experience together...
There are days that I decide to "ignore" the pain just so I can go on one adventure with him. The joy and bliss he experiences is worth the amount of pain that floods back, which has now tripled due to the excessive strain I continued to push just to make my baby boy happy. I literally have gotten a long thick sewing needle and keep it in my pockets. I stab and butcher my thigh to make my brain focus on anything, but the pain.
Sadly, the last time I decided to do this with him was during a Dia De Los Muertos event which was so beautiful and magical in itself. This event was located in a giant park that has a walk path which sometimes went up hills and went down hills. As I finally found the exit and begin heading towards our car, my body jolted then stopped mid walk, every drop of back pain I had suppressed flooded my nervous system in that moment.
It was so painful I could no longer stand up with my back straight. The only non painful way for me to stand was to keep my head and upper body/torso hanging over my legs. Kinda like when your toe touching. A few minutes later, I had no choice, but to get on all fours or else I could feel myself feeling faint from the sharpness of the pain overcoming my back in its entirety. My pain had surpassed 10,
From that day on, which took place about a year and a half ago, simple physical activities which includes standing too long washing dishes, bending over while I clean, hiking on some forest floor, along with yoga practice have collectively and independently exceeded my daily pain score. It went from 7-8 to 7.5 to 10. I'm afraid I may have permanent nerve damage.
The guilt I feel for not being able to give my son what I wish so badly we could have it is heartbreaking... He is a literal part of me. He is my reminder to "be like little children. For theirs's is the kingdom of heaven."
PS: My relationship with my partner also has suffered greatly due to what I can't do. Ask if you have any questions...
