GettingClean
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 10, 2014
- Messages
- 108
Hello all. I'm a total newcomer.... been reading for a few hours after desperately searching the web for some sort of support. If this isnt the right or best place to post feel free to move this. Also I apologize in advance if this is way long and will try to Keep it short and sweet! I have been addicted to tramadol off and on for probably the better part of three or four years. I actually cant actually remember how I first came across it but I sure wish I never had. I have tried to get clean a few times but it never stuck. This last time I am determined. I have to do this because I'm sick of it. I'm sick of planning to spend at least half my paycheck on pills. I'm sick of getting them. I'm sick of my dealer...what a douche!! I'm just done. I was taking a ton...like 10 pills three times a day. Somehow I never had a seizure but I'm not sure how. I took my last dose Sunday. Since then I've taken one 50mg pill each morning because I feel like death when I wake up. It helps a little but not much. The withdrawal symptoms are hell. Literally. Anxiety, diarrhea, fatigue, these crazy weird sensation I can only describe as brain zaps, dizziness, pain EVERYWHERE and the absolutely worst symptom of them all restless fucking leg syndrome. That shit is like some sort of medieval torture. OMG.... does anyone have any idea how long this will last or have any ideas for anything I can do to help make these things less severe? I've been off work due to a non related injury so I've been able to rest a little, but tomorrow I have to go back and I'm freaking out. I feel horrible tonight and don't know how I'm going to actually function tomorrow. I work a very high stress fast passed job and I'm not sure I can do it sober. I am just really scared I'm never going to bounce back from this. That I'm never going to be able to maintain this life I've built over the past few years without the pills. You see my story is sort of different than a lot of addicts in that I'm extremely functional. Which is both a blessing and a curse. No one in my life knows except a few close friends I told in the last few days. I'm just scared and miserable right now and kinda want to just die.