Shitty situation OP. That many tabs a day is insane, but I'm not juding, I was sucked into loperamide addiction at one point as well, thinking it was the lesser evil compared to the opiates I was using, and as a way to avoid withdrawal. How are your bowel movements? Do some research on loperamide man. It has a cardio-toxic metabolite. Please get off it ASAP, even if that means picking up a methadone habit or whatever. Loperamide is dangerous man, and I'm pretty sure murders most of your opiate receptors (especially in your gut, withdrawal symptoms lasting for months, things like severe diarhrea) and definitely skyrockets your tolerance. That amount of lope a day is probably equal to like 100mg of methadone, but again lope has that cardiotoxic metabolite so please get off it ASAP.
I cringe when I see people recommending high dose lope or using it, and that misinformation that it's harmless lead to me getting addicted to it as a maintence drug and suddenly my tolerance quadrupled and I couldn't get a rush anymore from dope and it was a true bitch getting off lope. I was using 50-100mg a day. Been off it for a few months now and instead have a kratom habit but I feel 100x better then I did on the lope. It feels toxic and dirty and I think has some serotonin effects like tramadol because because I'd notice odd serotonergic effects and near the end before I quit but I may be wrong about this. I also started getting severe chest pains and started waking up gasping for air, experiencing shortness of breath, feeling faint all the time. I believe these symptoms were related to heart issues being caused by the lope.
Not to mention severe constipation and things like impacted stool or toxic megacolon that loperamide in such high doses can cause and can potentially lead to death. And a lot of cardiac arrest stories are around the web caused by high dose lope, documented in medical journals. Ventricular arythmia and other terrifying heart issues that are life threatening.
Check out mad margarets blog, she dealt with high dose loperamide addiction and had to be hospitalized because of cardiac arrest and such, and now spreads information on the dangers of high dose loperamide. Here's a recent post she made, reguarding the death of another loperamide abuser that was only 27 and otherwise should have been healthy.
https://madmargaret.wordpress.com/2015/05/22/an-ordinary-kid-on-an-ordinary-day/
And here is her incredible story: Lope is no joke! I'd potentially even say go to the ER with printouts of the new medical journals documenting the cardiac dangers of loperamide, you need to get off it asap to save your life dude:
https://madmargaret.wordpress.com/2...o-more-part-2-or-happy-2nd-re-birthday-to-me/
"Loperamide prolongs the QTc interval, setting up the right conditions for ventricular tachycardia and the deadly Torsades De Pointes."
"Loperamide overdose has resulted in a few deaths; several others have survived the overdose after being near death. (These numbers are much higher if you count anecdotal evidence.)"
The overdose death don't seem to be caused by typical respiratory depression (Although that is very possible with loperamide aswell), but rather because of cardiac issues caused by the lope.
By the way, how did your girl pass by the way? She was taking high dose loperamide as well? Was it heart related? Did she start having syncope / fainting out spells, shortness of breath prior to her passing? Have you experienced any of these symptoms? Maybe loperamide was involved in the cause of her passing.
Anyways, please just get help man.