Trouble w/ IV coke MERGED

[paranoid android]

I really don't know why in the name of fuck i am writing this but here goes. Over abit less then a year i have had a bad IV dilaudid and morphine addiction. I never got too far out of line with the IV opiates and as bad as they got i never found myself getting that bad compared to other people. I was always careful and kept everything sterile thus i had no serious problems besides well addiction of course.

Over the past little more then a week i have started to IV coke and the last thing i need is a fucking IV coke habit. In the past i have smoked my fair share of crack and snorted a good bit of blow but it was never a big deal. I never got anywhere near a addiction. I have been very lucky because many buddies of mine got real bad coke habits snorting it, shooting it or smoking rock. But i only smoked rock when i was drunk or with a shot of morphine. Either that or i snorted it.

Lately ive found myself always IVing the stuff. I will sit down and shoot it until it is all gone. It is not like opiates at all where i can carry on with my life. No leaving the room, no eating, no doing fucking anything until that goddamned coke is gone! I will do shot after shot and reuse needles which i never did even once with IV opiates. I should also mention that even though i live in a rural town outside the city coke/crack is a phone call away and sometimes is easier to get then weed.

I don't even know why im writing this except to get this off my chest. What can anyone tell me that i don't already know? I know that coke can bring you to rock bottom as fast or in many cases faster then any other drug and that it is slowly killing me. Not to mention it is fucking with my head. Ive been taking more benzos and zopiclone to crash out after doing the coke. This is not to mention i have bipolar disorder so i often have to take a anti-psychotic coming down so i won't be manic.

Fuck me i am one stupid bastard right enough

 

[phactor]

Dude coke grabbed me by the balls really fucking quickly. Thankfully I really only binged for a few months.

 

[paranoid android]

I want some kind of support but im not exactly sure what it is. Maybe just friends to talk to and bupropion to help matters. I just am afraid of getting addicted to coke because i know exactly what happens to alot of IV coke users. Much worse then a opiate addiction that is for sure.

I just wanted to say that i know the fucking coke is fucking with my head. I know this shit but i still do it. Why? The real effect of coke is just making you want more fucking coke! It's messing with my head for sure.

 

[gibby_420]

IV coke is a horrible habit to get into PA. I've been a IV Heroin, Hydromorphone & Cocaine user for a long time and can tell you from experience that IV coke will fuck your life up quick bro.

I will only speedball coke with either dope or HM these days (except for the 1/4oz. coke binge I had 2 weeks ago when I couldn't get any dope or Dillys). I can't deal with the sketchy crash after booting coke by itself.

Get your shit together before that shit drags your ass down bro.

 

[Lolie]

So what changed recently?

It sounds to me like your bipolar disorder might be starting to destabilise (chasing the "up", being reckless with your shooting habits, shooting til it's all gone), so I'd seriously suggest a medication review for that.

I'm not going to give you a lecture on coke (one of my favourite drugs and yet I wouldn't go out of my way to get it). In my experience a drug which will totally destroy one person's life will have no impact on someone else's. That's why arguments about whether crack, meth, or heroin is worse seem pointless to me - the drug with which you personally have a problem is the one which is worst for you.

Any other signs of hypomania/mania? Feeling creative or like you have special insights? "To do" list getting longer? Sleeping badly and/or forgetting to eat?

 

[jmiz77]

Yeah man that shit is bad news all around...I used to have a bad IV coke habit too, alongside my dope habit, shoot up coke to get up, and then dope myself out for the crash...then I realized that I couldn't sustain that shit and came to a decision, one, or the other. Welp, I couldn't do coke without dope, so it was and easy choice for me. Good luck bro!

 

[phoenix_risin]

I too battled that demon and can tell you one thing
It is no easy battle to win BUT it is winnable
It takes a deep down desire though to want to stop and you need to really be fed up.

I tell ya it took me many years and when my viens died out i started smoking it.
All i can say is i hope ya can battle and win before it gets to the level got to.
I have years clean and STILL am suffering health issues stemming from it

 

[Carl Landrover]

PA

I was actually going to ask you about this since I noticed you mentioning coke a few times in the I'm So High Thread, and I found that particularly odd because in my mind, you're a classic CNS depressant guy. I didn't find it odd as in weird, more as in it was just out of the boundaries of the usual substances you post about.

There was a member on TDS (not sure if he still posts) that used to have a pretty bad IV coke habit. He had a crazy story about being on a road trip or something with his brother. IIRC, his brother was driving and thought that he was sleeping in the back seat, but he was actually shooting up coke for the majority of the ride...until he ODed/had a seizure and 911 had to be called. Maybe he posted on the Cocaine Megathread that was around awhile back. He seemed to have a good take on coke addiction and was well versed in it. I think I liked his posting/writing style too.

I only had a brief addiction with cocaine where I was real bad with it for about 6 weeks. This was the best cocaine I've ever had, still to this day, but I just got tired of the lifestyle and I just stopped. After an intense 2 weeks of over a gram a day (for myself), I was having trouble getting out of bed without blowing a line. I never tried shooting it though, which definitely seems to take it to a new level, so IDK if stopping would be as easy. It took a little while for my energy level to return to normal, but this was legit tired, as in I would fall asleep. Not like opiate WD tired where you WANT to sleep, but you can't.

You obviously recognize that this is a dangerous situation you're in as far as addiction goes. Don't have too many suggestions other than cutting off your contacts and avoiding things that make you crave cocaine (like alcohol usually does).

 

[FiatFlux]

i guess my question re:coke is why now? i can sort of understand from personal exp with IV stims how it is if you just randomly try it. its so fkn compulsive, coke is, as its all over so quickly (esp w the route of administration youre going). one thing leads to another and you find yourself in the habit. and once you are used to rigs etc its no big thing to do any drug that way, the ''im not fucking around'' mentality i suppose.

iv coke sort of reminds me of the feeling i get looking for shards in the carpet. yuck. you're a smart guy and you seem objective about your use, if i were you i would try and give it up. or stop for a short while and see if not being on the coke puts you in a better headspace. opiates are MUCH more functional... in addict speak, there are no old IV coke users (there ARE old iv heroin addicts though, shit william s burroughs used daily and lived into his 90s)

 

[phactor]

I find Wellbutrion helps alot the next day. I am prescribed it though.

 

[megawoof]

seriously how are you finding your veins from what ive read isnt it really harsh on them hope you figure a solution to this situation you seem an intelligent guy but addiction can be all consuming i know from being a iv heroin addict for years

 

[totach]

hey pa,if u dont mind i hav a ? for u n that is why start now.Are the opiates not doing the job they used 2 do for you that you need to add something else.As a moderator you've prob read a million horror stories bout iv coke so i feel like there is something bothering you where you feel the need to get super high.Anyways its not like uve lost control of this thing yet so quit while you're ahead n enjoy the opiates : )
ps:i never tried coke cuz im scared ill like it to much opiates for the last 6 years has bin way 2 much for me let alone a coke habit.

 

[vortex30]

All I can say is that you're one of the best lads I know and you've supported me through quite a lot, so I'm here for you on MSN whenever you need (you know I'm on like, always, lol). You always told me how much of a filthy cunt I am for using Mephedrone back in the day, well I'm 5 months clean and now you're the dirty, dirty boy! Hehe (he knows I'm playin'), but seriously, I know you'll get over it, it's still a really new thing and you're smart as hell, you ain't gonna let this bring you down, you know what's down there better than most of us...Stop putting that filth in your body TODAY! (no better time than now mate)

 

[phactor]

PA I am here as well (in shit shape but here and clean)

Anyways cocaine played a big roll in the shitstorm that was this last year. I never shot it.

 

[paranoid android]

Thanks for all the replies it means alot. Why now well why not? is the question ive been asking myself. My moods have been shit as of late and i have been as manic as fuck sometimes. Yeah i know that for me coke is much much worse then dextroamphetamine for triggering mania. I am a classic CNS depressant person as i am prescribed opiates but at a lower dose then i used to be thus it's not doing the trick as good for the chronic pain. The 6mg's of clonazepam i am prescribed a day is still working as good as it even did. My bipolar meds are sorta working or atleast the wellbutrin is and the risperdal my psych changed me to is starting to work. The lamictal is not working too well due to the low dose i am on.

The main thing seems to be the fact that ever since i came back home the spring i have been taking any and every drug i can get my hands on. I have always liked coke and crack but i never had anything close to a addiction. I could smoke a 8 ball pretty fast but id usually crash out afterwards. I liked rock alot in my drinking days and also a few times lately for pseudo speedballs. But up until the other week i had never shot coke before. Shooting it is more compulsive and i found myself doing stuff i never did with IV opiates. It's just a far worse and more compulsive addiction.

I have not touched it since friday night or saturday morning take you pick and i am managing the cravings as best i can with my meds and also alot of weed. It's helping abit but it's still there . I know this shit would destroy me if i let it get too far out of control. I felt close to ODing a few times friday night do to taking to big of a shot and that is abit scary. The fucked up thing was i went right ahead and did more! That is just nuts. But lately my life has been shall we say abit shit so ive been taking stupid risks. Stuck here with no g/f, no cash, nothing to do, only druggie friends, etc. So yes things are fucked.

 

[phoenix_risin]

Congrats on fighting them this long In all honesty it just takes a determination I can not tell ya how many times i have turned blue from it.
At the time i had no clue but i did discover that coke is a depressing darn drug
I am treated for depression have been since i was a teen and now with so many years off of it I finally am feeling "normal"
So just take it a day at a time and remember cravings only last a short time so if ya can say no for 20 minutes and distract yourself with something else well it will pass and ya got another day without it.
Good Luck I am still new here but Not new to addiction by any means or relapse for that matter
Believe me when i say i have faith you can make it out from under this.

Oh and it helps to toss all the contact numbers too i used Sharpie and scribbled mine out and found myself still trying to tread them so i took a exacto and removed them lOL
Funny i know but it worked

 

[panic in paradise]

you're a smart guy and you seem objective about your use, if i were you i would in addict speak, there are no old IV coke users (there ARE old iv heroin addicts though, shit william s burroughs used daily and lived into his 90s)

IV coke is about introversion, escape, and OCD. the ritual of it is just as powerful, or it was for me.
look more into your mania, they just feed off each other. the mania you are much more familiar with, approach it from there.

 

[Lolie]

If you don't start stabilising pretty quickly on the Risperdal, make sure you let your doctor know just how badly you're cycling and get your Lamictal dose increased. At this point it no longer matters whether the drug use has precipitated the mania or the mania has precipitated the drug binging - the cycle needs to stop.

This isn't really a situation you should let continue for more than a few days before calling in the cavalry.

 

[average extreme]

I’m a coke i.v. addict. Originally i slipped off into coke i.v. after i got into methadone treatment. I hunted the (any) rush when opiates no longer could provide it.

I don’t even like coke. It makes me psychotic every single time I do it. So why do I do it? I’m unable to overcome my needle fixation….. (and I don’t even want to get away from it)

I found a fentanyl connection recently but unfortunately this guy isn’t very reliable. Now I have to decide whether I get myself into a dia(cetyl)morphin substitution program. It is very strict and regulated… Much of my daily life will be bound to the program, but as for harm reduction it’ll be my best option. If they accept me, I can get up to 330mg pharm-grade heroin i.v. 3 times daily. But i’m just very unsure…. I fear that it’ll feed my addiction. What if i keep shooting coke while participating the program? I’ll be in even bigger trouble then.

Any opinions?

 

[Nicholai]

I think that if you are having so much difficulty with coke, you certainly should not start slamming fent. I think, in the circumstances you described, messing with fent would be a death wish and I would strongly urge you to not go that route.