- Joined
- Jan 16, 2009
- Messages
- 3,639
Pupnik is someone I silently mentor. To be 68 and going strong. Me in 12 years. The only thing I remember was being more carefree when I was young. Thought nothing of camping out at Grateful Dead shows and didn't have the "fear" I have now that I got older. Not sure it is all the weight of responsibility that I feel that I did not have when I was younger. I think I trusted more when I was younger, yet as I age I realize I have to trust even more. So it is a paradox. I learned, I grew, yet have more fear as I age. And it is not mental fear. It feels like my body collected anxiety through the years and stored it. I can not put my finger on it. But set and setting is the most important thing these days if I trip. I use to be able to take 2 blotters, put on sunglasses and go to work. I would shrink if I did that now. So I was braver.
Damn life chisel at the nervous system and to me it feels cumulative. That care free person is not around anymore and I can for sure feel more uptight. I feel wiser for sure, but my body aged and feels it.
Oh and I am a lot crankier. I realized why people get old and cranky. Years and years of doing doing doing, eating to maintain the body, a house to house the body, the body breaking down. I can not think of a better term when someone dies as Rest In Peace. No more doing. (just being.....maybe...lol)
Damn life chisel at the nervous system and to me it feels cumulative. That care free person is not around anymore and I can for sure feel more uptight. I feel wiser for sure, but my body aged and feels it.
Oh and I am a lot crankier. I realized why people get old and cranky. Years and years of doing doing doing, eating to maintain the body, a house to house the body, the body breaking down. I can not think of a better term when someone dies as Rest In Peace. No more doing. (just being.....maybe...lol)
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