Flower
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Oct 21, 1999
- Messages
- 2,131
My my my.... I've been away from the board for quite a while, and I've got to say, I noticed two things when I finally got back on: 1) Just how much this board and everyone on it means to me, and 2) The overwhelming negativity and bad vibes going on around here through certain people.
Not that it matters much, but here's my .02 on the whole fiasco. First of all, you all remember BOB, don't you? Nearly everyone got caught up in a flame war with him over the Gay Rollers post, myself included. But here's what I realized from that situation: I'm not gay, so BOB's post wasn't personally offensive to me or even most of the Bluelighters that became so upset over it. What upset us so much was the attack on "one of our own" (or several in this case). For many (probably most) of us, Bluelight is an extended family, and even though you might want to wring your little brothers neck once in a while, you're damn sure gonna kick some ass when the bully down the street picks on him.
I mean, when I got back on BL, I read over the posts I'd missed and saw the "Fuck You" posts and all the arguments that I missed....but I also saw the apologies and the feelings that we all lay out on the line on this board. It's not "like" a family here, it IS a family. And watching Satan flame our family members isn't only hurtful to the people he's trashing, but to us as well. I vowed never to get wrapped up in another flame war after the BOB fiasco, and I'm sticking to it. Not only is it just what he wants, but it does a disservice to ourselves, to lower us to his level. It also does something else.....it lets us ignore the fact that there is something going on there that provoked all of it.
Even more so than BOB's homophobia, Satan is obviously plagued by something that's eating away at him and causing him to retaliate in this way. Bully's are bully's, wherever you find them. They pick on others to make themselves feel better, but they'll always slip up, they'll always reveal their hurt and pain that's causing them to act the way they are. In Satan's case, the problem is so obvious, and I'm ashamed to admit it took me this long to see it. Here's the thing.....after reading one of Satan's more damaging posts, I picked out a few things he said....."You're all the same. You have your little clicks and leave out the "not-so-cool" kids. Go ahead and deny it, you fucking liars." Hello! You can just hear the insecurity and hurt seeping through there.
I admit it, I had NO friends growing up. I mean none. I wasn't cool, I was a dork, I spent my afternoons reading books instead of playing with friends and my weekends were spent studying, not going to parties and slumber parties. And I think a lot of the people on this board were the same way. You can't tell me there isn't anyone else on this board that didn't go through school the way I did and didn't think that very phrase themselves when they got into the cafeteria and realized that the only places to sit left were at the "dork tables". Hell, I was a misfit, and I still am.
But through this board I found my very own island of the misfit toyz (and I don't ever want to leave...hehe). I found a group of people that is ever expanding and meeting new people like ourselves..... I have never known us to leave out anyone....and certainly not the "not-so-cool" kids.
It's not just E that brought us all together (I'm speaking of the FL Bluelight Crew now). I mean, it was E, and this board, but now that we all know eachother so well, we've found out that we have uncanny similarites in our lives...the way we were brought up, things we've gone through, etc. etc. And people react to things in their lives in different ways. The people I've met through this board have become some of the kindest, most caring people I've ever known. Other people don't react as well, and become hurt, angry, depressed.
That's Satan. I've been accused more than once in my life of being too sensitive, and perhaps I am. But fuck it, I know how it feels to be left out, to be hurt and depressed. I chose to become quiet instead of angry and a bully, but who am I to judge how someone reacts to thier life. I don't pity him, I sympathize. Of course, I'm still upset over the hurtful things he's posted about the people on this board, but instead of flaming back or pleaing for the posts to be deleted, I'm paying attention. Like it or not, Satan's family too. Chances are REALLY good that he's a Bluelighter under a pseudonym to get out all of his hostility. And there's a problem there. I can only hope that one day he will find what most of us have found here on Bluelight. The sense of unity and togetherness....hell, without it I'd be pretty bitter, too.
Anyhow, this is long and rambling, and kudos to you if you've made it this far. I think by now we all realize how much we mean to eachother, and Satan's flaming has only secured that, made us prove it again, by wanting to protect our own. A lot of the closeness and personal feeling was lost as this board grew....with so many people it's easy to become cliquish and harder and harder to be "real". Anyway, this board means a lot to me and most of the people here, and I understand where everyone is coming from when they say it's being "ruined" by negativity and hostility like Satan't posts. But to me it really isn't, because when something like this happens, we all pull together and it makes us that much closer. Like a family. hehe....
Ok, I'm extrememly sensitive and corny today maybe, but that's just how I feel. Much love and PLUR to you all...forget about the negativity. The positive vibes we send to eachother more than make up for it......and maybe some of it will rub off...
Flower
Not that it matters much, but here's my .02 on the whole fiasco. First of all, you all remember BOB, don't you? Nearly everyone got caught up in a flame war with him over the Gay Rollers post, myself included. But here's what I realized from that situation: I'm not gay, so BOB's post wasn't personally offensive to me or even most of the Bluelighters that became so upset over it. What upset us so much was the attack on "one of our own" (or several in this case). For many (probably most) of us, Bluelight is an extended family, and even though you might want to wring your little brothers neck once in a while, you're damn sure gonna kick some ass when the bully down the street picks on him.
I mean, when I got back on BL, I read over the posts I'd missed and saw the "Fuck You" posts and all the arguments that I missed....but I also saw the apologies and the feelings that we all lay out on the line on this board. It's not "like" a family here, it IS a family. And watching Satan flame our family members isn't only hurtful to the people he's trashing, but to us as well. I vowed never to get wrapped up in another flame war after the BOB fiasco, and I'm sticking to it. Not only is it just what he wants, but it does a disservice to ourselves, to lower us to his level. It also does something else.....it lets us ignore the fact that there is something going on there that provoked all of it.
Even more so than BOB's homophobia, Satan is obviously plagued by something that's eating away at him and causing him to retaliate in this way. Bully's are bully's, wherever you find them. They pick on others to make themselves feel better, but they'll always slip up, they'll always reveal their hurt and pain that's causing them to act the way they are. In Satan's case, the problem is so obvious, and I'm ashamed to admit it took me this long to see it. Here's the thing.....after reading one of Satan's more damaging posts, I picked out a few things he said....."You're all the same. You have your little clicks and leave out the "not-so-cool" kids. Go ahead and deny it, you fucking liars." Hello! You can just hear the insecurity and hurt seeping through there.
I admit it, I had NO friends growing up. I mean none. I wasn't cool, I was a dork, I spent my afternoons reading books instead of playing with friends and my weekends were spent studying, not going to parties and slumber parties. And I think a lot of the people on this board were the same way. You can't tell me there isn't anyone else on this board that didn't go through school the way I did and didn't think that very phrase themselves when they got into the cafeteria and realized that the only places to sit left were at the "dork tables". Hell, I was a misfit, and I still am.
But through this board I found my very own island of the misfit toyz (and I don't ever want to leave...hehe). I found a group of people that is ever expanding and meeting new people like ourselves..... I have never known us to leave out anyone....and certainly not the "not-so-cool" kids.
That's Satan. I've been accused more than once in my life of being too sensitive, and perhaps I am. But fuck it, I know how it feels to be left out, to be hurt and depressed. I chose to become quiet instead of angry and a bully, but who am I to judge how someone reacts to thier life. I don't pity him, I sympathize. Of course, I'm still upset over the hurtful things he's posted about the people on this board, but instead of flaming back or pleaing for the posts to be deleted, I'm paying attention. Like it or not, Satan's family too. Chances are REALLY good that he's a Bluelighter under a pseudonym to get out all of his hostility. And there's a problem there. I can only hope that one day he will find what most of us have found here on Bluelight. The sense of unity and togetherness....hell, without it I'd be pretty bitter, too.
Anyhow, this is long and rambling, and kudos to you if you've made it this far. I think by now we all realize how much we mean to eachother, and Satan's flaming has only secured that, made us prove it again, by wanting to protect our own. A lot of the closeness and personal feeling was lost as this board grew....with so many people it's easy to become cliquish and harder and harder to be "real". Anyway, this board means a lot to me and most of the people here, and I understand where everyone is coming from when they say it's being "ruined" by negativity and hostility like Satan't posts. But to me it really isn't, because when something like this happens, we all pull together and it makes us that much closer. Like a family. hehe....
Ok, I'm extrememly sensitive and corny today maybe, but that's just how I feel. Much love and PLUR to you all...forget about the negativity. The positive vibes we send to eachother more than make up for it......and maybe some of it will rub off...
Flower
