I haven't posted in years but have continued to roll on average 4 times per year. However,
So after going nuts at new year where I done 6 pills and a load of wine I went out last night with the intention of having a good night. Had 2 pills with me.took half barely felt it, took another half 60 mins in and then another full one ( well I say a full one probably less as it was all crumbly and powder) started to feel it around 2 hours in but to try and help push it along the way had a couple of beers. I still wasn't satisfied though so bought another 2. 1 taken straight away and another on way home when I knew it was pointless. Eventually I was fucked, how do I know? The look of several people gave me and the sympathetic ears they gave to my partner. Even on train home there was people who had been in the club but we didn't speak. I pretty much made a cunt of myself. I had good intentions to only do 1 full pill but it wasn't happening and I got greedy. Maybe it didn't happen as I possibly havent given it enough time since new year or maybe I just wasn't comfortable in the club. I obcess over this substance but it rarely does me any good. All week I've been on here just to make sure I had everything covered but again I fuck it up. I always do. I just feel tired now and a little cracked out. I've felt much worse in the past. That said I really need to quit this time. It's not a good look being that guy. Think is I associate going to clubs and taking mdma. Ridiculous really as I love the music without, just not sure that clubs are for me anymore. I just don't feel comfortable if I'm honest, then I take too much and people are like wtf. Not literally but it's the looks. Some might say I'm being paranoid but you just know when you have made a cunt of yourself.
So after going nuts at new year where I done 6 pills and a load of wine I went out last night with the intention of having a good night. Had 2 pills with me.took half barely felt it, took another half 60 mins in and then another full one ( well I say a full one probably less as it was all crumbly and powder) started to feel it around 2 hours in but to try and help push it along the way had a couple of beers. I still wasn't satisfied though so bought another 2. 1 taken straight away and another on way home when I knew it was pointless. Eventually I was fucked, how do I know? The look of several people gave me and the sympathetic ears they gave to my partner. Even on train home there was people who had been in the club but we didn't speak. I pretty much made a cunt of myself. I had good intentions to only do 1 full pill but it wasn't happening and I got greedy. Maybe it didn't happen as I possibly havent given it enough time since new year or maybe I just wasn't comfortable in the club. I obcess over this substance but it rarely does me any good. All week I've been on here just to make sure I had everything covered but again I fuck it up. I always do. I just feel tired now and a little cracked out. I've felt much worse in the past. That said I really need to quit this time. It's not a good look being that guy. Think is I associate going to clubs and taking mdma. Ridiculous really as I love the music without, just not sure that clubs are for me anymore. I just don't feel comfortable if I'm honest, then I take too much and people are like wtf. Not literally but it's the looks. Some might say I'm being paranoid but you just know when you have made a cunt of yourself.