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things that make you go hmmmm

A

Anoe

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 30, 2015
Messages
13
So my bf and I (i am female) indulge in a bit o meth....thing is I think he has a secret identity of the sexual sort... im pretty sure he partakes in video sexting...and maybe wears my lingerie... Possibly enjoys anal play...all of these things I find intriguing but I can't get him to let me in on his secret no matter how much I try to make him comfortable...I've tried to do things when were getting down and dirty but he says that it turns him off...am I playing a part in his life as the norm or his "beard" and that's why he can't let me play??? Or is it a meth induced naughty cause he usually gets high during or before his secret time...I also suspect he may be having rendezvous with strangers from Craig's list...I want to be his taboo :/ how do I get him to let me in...I've went as far as creating secret accounts to lure him to me.
Any advice will be helpful.
Thank you :)
 
Maybe he is tricking w/ men for money for drugs. You would be surprised how many guys do that. I can't think of any other reason he would keep it from u other than money being involved.
 
Hmmm we work together and I know he makes good money and doesn't have any problem paying for the drug...I feel like it's a matter of being afraid I'll leave or not like it or maybe he's bi and ill freak out....or what if he's really into guys...but I know I turn him on....it just baffels me...I know some people who use meth get very deviant sexually ...I just want him to let me in :/
 
It could be that he's ashamed or embarrassed by his fantasies and the meth lowers his inhibitions enough that he feels safe exploring them alone. I wouldn't push too much. He may still be trying to figure it all out for himself and is just not comfortable admitting he enjoys these things, possibility even to himself. Do you guys get intimate when he's using or is it only something he does when he's alone? If the meth makes it easier for him to explore next time you're together and he's high try casually mentioning how interested you are in exploring your kinks together. Break the ice by sharing something new that YOU want to try and that maybe you would be a bit unsure about asking for. If he does open up about an interest in cross dressing or sex with men or anything else just be sure to not make a huge deal out of it, don't show any judgment and tell him how much trying something like that with him would turn you on. It could also just be that the interest for him is just the fantasy and the actual act is a turn off. If that's the case maybe ask to join him occasionally while masturbating. You could show him a porn video you enjoy and next time have him select a video. The more comfortable he feels the more open he will be to experiment with you.
 
He is the only person that knows everything there is to know about me the deep dark dirty and even ugly and I have expressed my kink when it comes to sex...I'm a very open minded and honest person...I just dont like that he hides it from me so much...we talk about my interests all the time but he just tells me everything turns him on...he also says he's never talked about sex with anyone as much as we do...we often use meth together and have amazing sex...and I've noticed a very minut bit of opening up...I guess I'm the type that jumps in with both feet and he is timid. But I have to say he was married for 14 years and this secret sex life of his was going on then as well... Soooo whose to say what's going through his mind...I just need the rawness and depth of knowing what his dirtiest of dirties are......or at least the act of him letting me into his secret world.....
 
Well I am sure there's a reason he keeps it hidden. Perhaps you are better off not knowing. Sometimes it is true that ignorance is bliss! There is one thing I wish i could unknow about my lover! Of course I still love him but man what was he thinking! Lol
 
I'm just one of those people that it takes a lot to phase me if it does at all....as long as a person communicates with me and is honest I'm pretty darn accepting....I just want him to know that I'm safe and I have given myself to him the whole package good bad ugly strange and dirty...I feel like he doesn't trust that I will accept him no matter what.I guess I'll just have to give it time...unfortunately something I am not is patient especially when I want something...but that is something I can work on!!!
 
I really don't mind the sexual deviance....I just want to be included in it...why wouldn't he wanna share it with his SO of all people....and I understand that he would be afraid to let me in at first but I'd like the chance to show him that he can trust that I'm not gonna make him feel bad for something he likes.
 
Why don't you just ask him.. like if he has a sexual fantasy. You can even just lay it all out there, like why you think these things, eetc. Reassure him that there would be no judgements and that you're open to everything, etc. Tell him that him NOT telling you makes you feel _____. You know him and you know he's hiding something. You just want him to be honest.
 
I've reassured him over and over and told him how it makes me feel and he Denys and gets angry...asked him about his turn ons /fantasies and he tells me everything turns him on....but I know something is going on...just by the evidence left behind.
 
I suppose you're right, but I did tell him from the beginning that I wanted someone like myself that gives 100% from the beginning. Then I "found" out he was using meth. Which was a big deal at first only because he lied when I asked... Ive just always been the type that divulges everything right away to avoid any "I didn't KNOW" situations.
 
Well see I didn't know he did it before and I had asked him several times if he was using every time he denied using....then I found his stash and then he admitted to using amd thats when we started doing it together.
 
His drug problem might be bigger than u realize which leads to doing things he is ashamed of for cash. That seems like the obvious answer to me.
 
I kinda wonder if it isnt a sex addiction thing? Plus the drugs..he will do any drug you our in front of him. So maybe that's how it is for him and sex...the thrill of getting caught, being dirty and trying it all.???
 
Anoe said:
Well see I didn't know he did it before and I had asked him several times if he was using every time he denied using....then I found his stash and then he admitted to using amd thats when we started doing it together.
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OK.

Well, I think it's a bit strange posing as someone in advertisements on Craigslist to try and "lure" your partner into his own dirty, little escapades.

I can imagine this whole situation of you both rocking up to a hotel room ready for an orgy and his face when he sees you.

I dare say this could be somewhat of a hot fantasy, because it's such an unusual situation...which you could expand upon - you could both pretend to have just met each other then get down and dirty in an orgy with several other people.
 
We both admit to being more than a little strange...I justify it by saying if he won't include me I'll include myself...I do have a little fear(fear only cause that would be the reason for his shame...but I would make it all better) that he's a little into guys, but that's OK cause that's one of my fantasies...I'm pretty sure he's into wearing my panties or having another man wear them....cause someone's been into my panty drawer on more than one occasion...he hides his porn from me. Which is funny cause I'm very open about my porn interests.
One time I found his laptop in his closet with live video porn chat sites up and I asked him about it (cause it pretty much gotme excited) and he told me he didnt go to those sites and denied it.then when I gave him the argument "who else did it and hid it in his closet? His 9year old or 13year old daughter both of which wefent there...them he made an excuse about trying to do a hack for coins for the site" thing is I know his usernames and passwords and he had an account from years ago.... Not to mention he has several email accounts including one with a fake profile....sooooo I just want him to know that he really doesn't need to hide this stuff from me...I know I just need to be patient and let itball come out when he's ready.
 
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