I agree with you, so don't get me wrong here. But can this^ type of thinking be harmful too? Can it lead to the addict lying to him/herself? "I can use a little today. It won't. hurt anything".
A lot of times it's when people are relapsing that they throw logic out the window and make excuses for their use. But if you're sober and not committed to 100% abstinence, isn't it easier to say fuck it?
I'm not an addict, and I don't actually believe much in the notion of being an addict. When I went to intensive rehab, I would periodically slip up on IV meth once every 3-9 months over 4 years until I finally got a longer string of time together and I only ever used it for a night at a time. Prior to going to intensive rehab my use was out of control and likely going to kill me, so how was I able to limit myself to just one off uses? By the logic of 12 step programs that's supposed to be impossible, or I'm not a real addict. Anyone who knew me when I was using would argue that my addiction was very very real. No, it was because I was engaged in treatment and was due to show up again for group within a day or two after using and would tell the lead psychologist running the session I used who would then pull me aside for a private session to discuss what happened without getting punished so there was one incentive to not use for more days, then there was the fact that I would immediately tell all my closest friends who were supporting me in my recovery and they would schedule time over the next week or two to meet up with me and have a coffee or a meal and hang out with me, so I was seeing a bunch of friends on consecutive days and that was a huge incentive not to use. Why would I want to use again when instead I could spend time with people who didn't judge me for my lapse, who wanted to support me, and who loved me unconditionally?
In fact I was practically allowed to use meth once to twice a year by all of them because it was such an improvement on previously and due to my family situation they all understood that some triggers were impossible for me to work through, like times I would get memories back of my childhood and not be able to cope with that. Most of the time I did reach out for help when I needed support too, so they all knew I tried not to use more often than I used.
I never used thinking 'ill just do it once' or 'just a bit won't hurt me' what was usually going through my head, and what caused my friend to voice his preference for me to actually use in these situations rather than the alternative was that I often was thinking 'i need to use or I'm going to kill myself' and using seemed at the time to provide enough relief for me over that period and act as a sort of reset button. It was like a bottle of soft drink where I constantly got shaken up until the lid was about to come off, and just before everything just exploded I'd use to prevent that, and start the process again. This friend even said to me at one point that if I was choosing between shooting up meth or killing myself he actually wanted me to shoot up meth every time I was faced with that choice.
Eventually I managed to develop some coping mechanisms that enabled me to extend the time I went between uses, but even when I relapsed in December and started using heavily again each time I've not been happy with my use whether it be to much dose wise resulting in me taking a break or too much frequently wise resulting in me restricting the times I use, I've been able to adapt my use to better suit what I want. And then when I decided to a couple of weeks ago I just stopped after I organised to get my old drug and alcohol social worker back who I disclosed to previously so we can work on my actual problem which is self punishment often using substances.
So yeah, I don't understand how thinking you lose all the progress you've can't be anything but harmful, and the opposite not be. How is it possible that you forget things you've learnt in recovery if you've been actively engaged in treatment just because you use. Even if you relapse, you don't unlearn things you've previously learnt just because you aren't actively doing them. The reason I won't go back to intensive rehab even though I'd qualify for it at this stage is that it's pointless, I know the program back to front, over and over. I could teach it at this stage, so why bother? Relapsing didn't strip me of my knowledge, it's all there, it's just a matter of me actually making the decision not to use (and it's always a choice to use or not, but not always an easy one) and committing to that, and putting into practise the skills I was taught years ago.
They didn't just get wiped from my brain because I stuck a needle in my arm for 8 months, not has my progress as a person gone straight back to the start like I was in 2017.
I have an addiction, and I have an issue with problematic use of substances but I'm not a drug addict. People who actually get to know me tend to notice this pretty quickly, especially if they self identify as addicts because I can go periods without using at all, like when I relapsed I'd use IV meth once a week to a fortnight for the most part, and restrict it to that. That's pretty unusual for IV meth, but it's because I actually don't like meth all that much, I just really have a problem with shooting up.
