Mental Health Therapy causes problems?

[Red Moon]

How long does it take for therapy to start having positive effects when you're giving it your all? I'm still trying the stupid CBT and acceptance or whatever therapy every day. The only thing I've stopped is meditation/mindfulness because that brings on panic attacks inevitably at this point and I do not have the appropriate meds to end those. I've been doing therapy for nearly five months and I like my therapist; she is so kind and willing to try other things. But I can't help but feel like every time I go there I drag up problems that I'd gotten over by that point with my own coping skills.

I tried to see a psychiatrist to get benzos to be used as needed if I have a panic attack or extremely high levels of anxiety (IE I was NOT intending to take these things 24/7, I know how dangerous they are). But he esepcially told me I might as well be drinking a shot of vodka instead and the only other choices he gave me is SSRIs/SNRIs (I have had such a bad experience on them that I wouldn't touch them again if you paid me a million dollars), hydroxyzine (basically an even worse version of benadryl which already makes me lose any ability to DO anything, even the next day). I asked him about Lyrica, he told me it was a pain med (?????) and suggested gapapentin, which I actually thought was for restless legs and nerve pain. I've tried it and it's caused some very worrisome side effects even at the low does he's prescribed and I really don't think I should continue to take it.

But the therapy sessions are difficult to me. It feels like it's dragging up all these problems over and over again, and at some point I just can't take it anymore and break out crying. It's an effort not to just cancel all of my appointments. One of these days I swear I'm just going to snap and tell the clinic everything I hate about them, and give them their stupid "courtesy gift card" for fucking up twice in trying to get me in to the one psychiatrist that would take my insurance (who always seems to be scheduled out at least two months, the one who doesn't believe benzos as needed are any different than shots of vodka -- this is at a Mental Health and Addiction clinic FYI so you can bet he gave me fantastic advice there, taking vodka all on my lonesome instead of taking benzos under his supervision).

Has anyone else had negative experiences with therapy in general despite perservering and having a therapist they click with? Like I said, I like my therapist a lot and trust her with everything except for my self-medication with etizolam, which to me is a necessary evil because I am not going back to the fucking ER with all its panic and stress increases just for the hope of more benzos. I do not enjoy benzos like I enjoy etizolam, but they sure as hell do the trick when I'm freaking out. How much longer am I going to have to deal with this before there's some improvement since I apparently cannot get half defend meds? I swear I'm this close to just using high doses of zolpidem and zaleplon to cancel out panic attacks.

 

[dicko89]

HI Red Moon. I have been having therapy for two months id has been hard and had to go through a lot of crap but now things are changing fast! and for the best, stick with it and you will get there.
hope all is ok.

 

[dicko89]

sorry for the 2 reply's I put blue moon rather than red moon

 

[Red Moon]

I want to die.

I want to isolate myself even more than ever before. I used to be relatively sociel before things got worse, but I now I feel like I can barely talk to even my closest friends. And they've noticed. I just want to disappear, I wan tot stay in my house forever. But I can't, beacuse I have to go to therapy every week and I don't have anything to help me deal with it. If htye wneted me to take it after so I don't forget whatever we discuss, I'd be fine with that... but there's just nothing. I want to give up,

 

[Almalutz]

People pursue counseling and therapy for a variety of reasons. Some may enter therapy to address major life changes, such as divorce, and others may seek help in managing mental health conditions, like depression. There's a common misconception that people who go to therapy are "crazy," when in fact, most therapy clients are ordinary people struggling with common, everyday issues.

Many people seek counseling because they have identified specific goals or issues that they wish to work on. Others may be encouraged by family, friends, or medical professionals to seek help, and in some cases, a person may be mandated to attend therapy as part of a court ruling or by a parent or guardian (if the person is a minor). Whatever the impetus, it takes courage to attend therapy, and it takes dedication to see it through. Together, the client and the therapist will determine the goals of therapy, and if the therapy should be short- or long-term. In many cases, the therapist and client will explore much more than just the client's presenting problem—the issue that first brought the person to therapy. The help of the right therapist can promote self-actualization, empower self-growth, improve relationships, and reduce emotional suffering.

Mental Rehabilitation | Family Counseling Boca Raton

 

[Cdkman]

It depends on what kind of therapy..if its the lay on the couch and tell me all the bad parts of your life story than i could see the problem with too much..I think therapy can be beneficial if u do not know what causes u pain/problems and u can figure it out by talking it out..when u figure that out, talking about it more will do nothing but cause emotional turmoil..once u know what the cause is then its best to work with ways to deal with everyday life while letting go of emotional baggage in a healthy way..talking it to death will do nothing

 

[Red Moon]

No, my therapy is talking about problems, how the problems make me feel, and what would be best to live the life i want to. There's lots of homework too. I just can't handle it anymore.

 

[starting_over]

A friend of mine went to talk therapy once, he said the psychologist was no good. Compared it to the 'you think you can dissect me with this blunt little tool' part at 4:00



I guess it's not for everyone

 

[herbavore]

When something is hard for you to do it does not mean that it is a waste of time. Therapy, if done competently, asks you to shine a bright light into your darkest corners. They are dark for a very good reason--they are difficult emotions to deal with; and through keeping them shoved way down in some dark place we inadvertently surround their very existence with layers and layers of terror. Facing yourself should lead to forgiving yourself for everything that is either consciously or unconsciously keeping you stuck in a painful existence--but there is no hopping from A to Z. Yes, it can be difficult to face pain but it is a process that can empower you to deal with life's difficulties more resiliently in the future. There really is no downside to honest introspection that leads to a better understanding of how each of us humans becomes a master of creating our own living hells. Sure we are taught and conditioned to do this from the outside but we take the reins very early on and never even realize it. Ideally, therapy can lead us to more self-awareness and we can learn strategies for changing thought patterns and perceptions that hold us in pain.

 

[Red Moon]

I really, truly apprecate your replies, but... It's getting so bad. The last time I went I was nearly involuntarily hospitalized. Shutting my mouth and not saying anything was probably the only reason I'm able to post here today. I've been doing CBT since I was a child, and it didn't help then and it's not helping now. This isn't working for me. And worse, it seems to be making everything escalate...

 

[herbavore]

I'm really sorry that you are feeling so frustrated right now. Is there any way that you can describe what 'everything' is? (When you say that it feels like the therapy is making everything escalate).

 

[Red Moon]

Anxiety, tearfulness, hopelessness, depression, doing none of the things I care about, trying to isolate myself from others and wanting it so bad, panic attacks.

Can you believe I steal my mother's short-acting sleeping medication (not even a benzo!) in desperate attempts to calm down? I hate myself for that so much, and I feel like I might be ruining my already rocky relationship with her by doing so. But I feel driven to do this because I have nothing else short of my own sleeping medication. And if I take that inappropriately I'll just end up taking all of it and then go crazy from insomnia. My therapist even told me last time "if psychiatrists won't give you benzos to take as an as needed basis, why not go to the ER?" I've been down that route before. It was the worst thing ever. They took everything away from me. I had no way to contact my mother to tell her what was going on in the hours that I sat in there all alone. And I was lucky to get anything from them at all when it was all over. Probably they only gave it because my blood pressure was way higher than it was supposed to be.

 

[herbavore]

^It's interesting that you say that about your blood pressure. I have a friend that has extreme anxiety issues and after many years on benzos she realized that both her tolerance and the benzo use itself seemed to be making things worse. She tapered off them (not easy!) and now is prescribed a high blood pressure medication to use "as needed" because her blood pressure only rises when she is having anxiety. I had never heard of that before but you might try asking your psychiatrist about it.

 

[Red Moon]

Unfortunately, it seems I can only get benzos from the ER (talk about the most stressfull situation a relatively normal person can get into; they took away my clothes and phone and I couldn't contact my mother or anything for all those hours). If I keep going to the ER for benzos they're going to think I'm "drug seeking" anyway. My doctor won't give me any. My psychiatrist told me that I might as well have a shot of vodka and gave me gabapentin instead (which I appear to be allergic to) and his only other alternatives were SSRIs (the thought of that makes me go into a panic in its own right).