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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Venting The Vent/Rant Thread Vs. You Silly KnuckleHeads Can Go Fly a Kite!!

Thank you! I'm getting used to it.
Hopefully I can start the treatment tomorrow.
 
Why the FUCK do I bother to help anyone n constantly ripped apart? I am about to seriously lose it. You can take so much n give so much of yourself before enough is enough.

Thinking about ME from on to fuck with everyone else I'm done :! :(

Evey
 
Excited

I passed training and start my work as a lifeguard tomorrow. I know I can do this just the simple stuff that is common that you gotta learn yourself is what's bothering me is
Stuff I didn't get taught like kids wanting to practice swim test swim test, how to deal with common situations but I wrote a note to myself(which been doing when a get a clear moment. Doesn't happen often since the 90 something days ive been off opiates) and I have found this helps tremendously.
 
Went to a really good meeting today.

Still struggling hardcore with the situation regarding my girlfriend and I. Im the only one fighting for "us". Id be moving on easy if it wasnt for her (our?) son. I miss him so much I feel sick, cant sleep, am tormented all my waking hours. I need to see him. Do I just show up? I know it will only result in argument and more pain and heartache.
 
Eveleivibe said:
Why the FUCK do I bother to help anyone n constantly ripped apart? I am about to seriously lose it. You can take so much n give so much of yourself before enough is enough.

Thinking about ME from on to fuck with everyone else I'm done :! :(

Evey
Click to expand...

Sorry to hear you're having a rough go of it. Sometimes focusing on yourself isn't a bad thing. I hope stuff starts getting better soon!

pillman1224 said:
Excited

I passed training and start my work as a lifeguard tomorrow. I know I can do this just the simple stuff that is common that you gotta learn yourself is what's bothering me is
Stuff I didn't get taught like kids wanting to practice swim test swim test, how to deal with common situations but I wrote a note to myself(which been doing when a get a clear moment. Doesn't happen often since the 90 something days ive been off opiates) and I have found this helps tremendously.
Click to expand...

Congratulations!!! Great News!
 
woamotive said:
Went to a really good meeting today.

Still struggling hardcore with the situation regarding my girlfriend and I. Im the only one fighting for "us". Id be moving on easy if it wasnt for her (our?) son. I miss him so much I feel sick, cant sleep, am tormented all my waking hours. I need to see him. Do I just show up? I know it will only result in argument and more pain and heartache.
Click to expand...
Can you text that you would like to have an outing with him?
 
Sometimes I feel like having a history of abuse in my life will always give those who are involved with me an 'eternal' green light to say things are and will always my fault. Or something that conducted things that far.

Say something doesn't work out between my wife and I. Of course my sister or my wife's sister will tell that I have always had this different way to solve things for example. What I mean is that I feel I will never ever be judged without having my previous life as a back ground no matter how irrelevant that may be to most situations in life. Something which is seen as "aggravating" or that will never be erased.

I've had so many situations where things would have turned out pretty fine if it wasn't for this family feeling that is tattooed in my life.
 
^ rise above, mate.

Whether you're a saint/sinner you will always be judged by other people's projections.
No one is immune - be glad that you can (at least) see the 'glitch in their matrix' ;)
Take time-out to re-connect with yourself; keep yourself strong in your truth. It's great to see people posting about the integrity that they feel but accept the fact that sometimes; most of the time; when you are being scapegoated you have to forgive/understand irrationality of the heart/have compassion, for them; for what they project on you; which is a part of themselves that they can't face.(while not internalising any shit btw - very NB) <3
 
<3

Oh, Erikman I am far from inspiring - just giving a perspective, mate - the shit still has to be dealt with, unfortunately.
Watch Amityville, it might be a release - family's are head wrecking!!! ;)
 
Families have a way of insisting on telling the same story, regardless of whether it fits now or whether it ever was accurate at all. They can be our best support but also our heaviest burden. 8)
 
Spent the morning yesterday repairing the deck and steps down to the dock.. big storm came through last night and dropped a huge hickory tree on the fucking thing. Now the damn thing is for shit and I have a HUGE tree to chainsaw up and haul up a God Damn Hill and then a ruined deck. Ugg, fk this shit.
 
Three days after taking four pills that were supposed to stimulate my system and I'm still not myself again. Odd. I compartmentalize the information that I contain and spend vast periods of time floating out in the ether rather than being in touch with myself.
 
people when ya go to pools CLEAN YOUR SHIT UP TO SOME FUCKING DEGREE we are lifeguards not custodians. yes i knew id have to do it and i dont mind but come on... nachos, cheese, melted Popsicles and a fucking weave for real? i have a feeling i will be using this thread more in the future. dont wanna bother my dad
 
So cool to be a lyfeguard! ;)

@armoresdslug; I can relate to these feelings. Suggest yo try to give a break.
Get in touch with who you really are and what you are seeking.
 
A woodchuck has infiltrated the vegetable garden! Bastard! It ate red cabbage and cucumbers and peas! Fie!

@Erikmen, thank you for the good words and sentiment!
 
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