You got the hookup? Obviously you know how hard it is. I don't live in a good environment and always struggled with being on my feet with pain being the biggest issue. I know what you mean the pain isn't the same off them, but the pain on them is more manageable while off them I start getting pain spikes 6+ every step in my right lower leg and glute joint. Plus I developed tightness and tension I can not push through. I barely can with the opiates.
I always knew I was weak and out of shape, but the level I deal with now is ridiculous and I wish I could just blame on myself and overcome with the love of those around me, but again Asperger's is a bitch. I would not know empathy without ever having used psychedelics and mdma to say the least.
Still it's hard for me as I have no real outlet for frustration, talk therapy does not help as it just leaves me ruminating on my problems after forcing me to get out of bed, and the lack of support is an everlasting source of frustration of course. Today is also a pretty fucked up morning for my city.... Real tragic loss. The first day of Chanukah too.... Literally like first thing that happens. FML