well, ive plenty of stories, but i dont have time to type them right now, i will sometime later on though... i have been hospitalized a few more times than phreex (if five is still his number), but unlike him EVERY time was totally fucking unnecessary. about 1/3 were the result of my ass getting questioned by the police for something unrelated like getting in a fight, dui, public nudity, etc. trying to get into a club wearing nothing but a top hat and a shot gun will attract attention... fortunately they all got thrown out, plea bargained, or some other bullshit. the other 2/3 of the hospital visits involved myself calling the ambulance on myself, which was stupid. it went something like: my friend would decide to play this poker drinking game, we'd run out of jim beam, he'd decide that it would be fun to do jiggers of liquid acid. so first jigger--i lose and down the hatch it goes, tasted very gross, but had no taste (cant describe it but just very metallicy tasting after taste or something). two more jiggers (hey, im no good at poker) and about 15 minutes later, my friend decides to go to the bathroom. what seemed like an eternity passed and i look at the clock. realizing that i am unable to form a coherent sentences and am very shaky, i take off my shirt and tie it around my head and run for the phone. "911 emergeny. what's the emergency?" "yeah, uh, hello, im fucking oding over here, get a fucking ambulance over here immediately before i have to leave this world." "what are oyu oding on sir" "eeelllll-eeeelllll-eeeellll-eeellll eeeessss-eeeeesssss-eeeesssssss-eeeesssss dddddeeeee-ddddddeeeeee-dddddddeeeeee...." if you have never consumed a large amount of acid then you may not know what i am talking baout, but when you talk and hear other people talk you hear echoes and it sounds like you are in a tunnel, plus not to mention it sounds very robotic or computerized. at this point i was roasting my ass off, and as i ran down the street i was ripping my clothes off frantically. i knocked on some guys door, and kicked it but no one answered. finally the ambulance came and about 3 big emt guys wrestled me into the ambulance, but not before i took a big bite on one dudes finger (i think i broke the bone but i was loaded so i dont know). it turns out, the nurse that was "helping" me at the hospital had remembered me from the last 3 times (i had a period where i ended up hospitalized like 6 times in one month before i figured out that maybe i was consuming too much). of course she did these weird fucking tests and i dont really recall most of them except she kept pricking my finger with a needle, that little bitch. then this funny doctor came over with those over sized sunglasses on that you buy at an amusement park and were orange, adn he was like "hello mr. duckbutt. are you seeing any funny spots? any wild hallucinations?" im not sure what that was all about, i think he had escaped from his bed and was in the same condition as me... i dont know why but the whole time i kept asking for mascara because i needed to put some on (this seems odd since i am a guy and have never worn make up but go figure)...
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Sex is like putting money in the bank-once you take it out you lose all interest.
