Drugusergf
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jul 16, 2013
- Messages
- 3
This weekend, while I was in the car with my boyfriend and was rubbing his leg, I felt something in his pocket; it was a syringe. He has been sober, as far as I know, for about seven months. I told him when we started getting serious (we have only been together for about six months, but I feel like I could be with him forever) that if he started using heroin again, I would not tolerate it. I know it seems harsh, but it's not fair to me if he's using. Anyway, I almost vomited when I pulled the needle out of his pocket. In my mind, that was it, I had to end it, I made a promise to myself and I was going to keep it. I dropped it and he saw what I had found, "let me explain" he said, I was devastated and I kind of laughed out "sure, go ahead" assuming that he was going to start trying to rationalize or lie, but he didn't. He told me that one of his friends informed him that you can inject subutex, and that he had been doing it for a few days. He said that he had stopped tapering and that he missed the needle.
We talked about it for hours, he promised me he would never do it again, that he would taper and stop, and because of how much I love him I couldn't help but give him a second chance. Even as I am writing this, I am getting upset because I feel like he took so many steps backwards. I don't understand why he started using the needle again. Obviously, something something is still missing.
I have been researching addiction for days now and I can't look at anything without feeling psychically sick at this point. This man is such an incredible person, and seeing him go back to using would devastate me. How can I offer him support when I don't understand? How freaked out should I be that he went out, bought needles, melted down his pills and injected them? Is he going to go back to heroin? Any insight is helpful.
We talked about it for hours, he promised me he would never do it again, that he would taper and stop, and because of how much I love him I couldn't help but give him a second chance. Even as I am writing this, I am getting upset because I feel like he took so many steps backwards. I don't understand why he started using the needle again. Obviously, something something is still missing.
I have been researching addiction for days now and I can't look at anything without feeling psychically sick at this point. This man is such an incredible person, and seeing him go back to using would devastate me. How can I offer him support when I don't understand? How freaked out should I be that he went out, bought needles, melted down his pills and injected them? Is he going to go back to heroin? Any insight is helpful.