The person I love started injecting subutex

[Drugusergf]

This weekend, while I was in the car with my boyfriend and was rubbing his leg, I felt something in his pocket; it was a syringe. He has been sober, as far as I know, for about seven months. I told him when we started getting serious (we have only been together for about six months, but I feel like I could be with him forever) that if he started using heroin again, I would not tolerate it. I know it seems harsh, but it's not fair to me if he's using. Anyway, I almost vomited when I pulled the needle out of his pocket. In my mind, that was it, I had to end it, I made a promise to myself and I was going to keep it. I dropped it and he saw what I had found, "let me explain" he said, I was devastated and I kind of laughed out "sure, go ahead" assuming that he was going to start trying to rationalize or lie, but he didn't. He told me that one of his friends informed him that you can inject subutex, and that he had been doing it for a few days. He said that he had stopped tapering and that he missed the needle.

We talked about it for hours, he promised me he would never do it again, that he would taper and stop, and because of how much I love him I couldn't help but give him a second chance. Even as I am writing this, I am getting upset because I feel like he took so many steps backwards. I don't understand why he started using the needle again. Obviously, something something is still missing.

I have been researching addiction for days now and I can't look at anything without feeling psychically sick at this point. This man is such an incredible person, and seeing him go back to using would devastate me. How can I offer him support when I don't understand? How freaked out should I be that he went out, bought needles, melted down his pills and injected them? Is he going to go back to heroin? Any insight is helpful.

 

[pofacedhoe]

the question is do you believe him that it wasn't heroin? if he is in injecting subs the fillers are very bad for his health

hmm the whole issue here is needle love- its psychological. can he cut it out???

i can't tell you what to do BUT it is a bad omen of whats to come. its certainly not indicative of a real desire to quit. it suggests boredom and the longing for a rush. thats not physical its psychological, because the whole point of oral opiate substitutes is to maintain you without a rush ala nictotine patches instead of cigarettes.

 

[Doody OD]

Sadly no one here can answer you questions for you, the reason why your bf reverted back to IVing is only known to him, and he may not be aware that he knows why.

Firstly, I would said it is great that you are talking about this, do you need to talk to a professional about this for yourself, as opposed to him. A lot of clinics off support for family members, partners etc, if you have access to a supportive space like this I would suggest you avail of it.

Why are you saying you feel sick? Is it because you feel disgusted? Or is it something else? I am wondering why you feel you need to understand the behaviour in order to support him? The answers will come when the time is right, forget them. I would suggest focus on the relationship, what you want from it, and how you can help him, if you decide you want to continue down this path.

I'm in a bit of rush today, so I will try add a bit more later, but the above would be my opinion on the topic. Hope that helps a bit.

 

[Corazon]

yea...
he could have been injecting this since he started getting the script months ago, or he might be using heroin right now, who knows. I'll take his story at face value for the sake of this post.

it sounds like a major point in your relationship.

You have to decide whether you are willing to let him slip back into a being an addict.
You have to decide whether you are willing to be supportive, and strong, and help him overcome the setback and demand that he get back on track with his taper.

people do have setbacks and fuck-ups. Is he worth a 2nd chance?

 

[ebola?]

the question is do you believe him that it wasn't heroin? if he is in injecting subs the fillers are very bad for his health

inB4 Captain.Heroin!

ebola

 

[pofacedhoe]

thanks

as a past liar i know when i'm caught and always play the " you caught me, i'll own up" card then give a hugely different version of events that i think will be seen in a more positive light than the truth. i work with what i've got

 

[Drugusergf]

I have always had great support system with my family and friends, but I am aware of the negative connotations associated with heroin users. I am reaching out because I want support from people who understand and won't jut kick the issue to the curb. I feel "sick" about it for so many reasons, disgust is not one of them. I want so badly to know exactly how to help him and what cased this setback.
His story did match up, because we were on a trip and he threw away a syringe filled with his subutex mixture and then didn't have enough for the rest of the trip. I'm smart, and I pride myself in making smart decisions for myself, but with him, I feel like I can't. I love him very much and it makes me feel like I am incapable of objectivity.

Shouldn't he be the one who stops because he wants to? Won't he resent me if I am constantly checkin up on him? It's so hard because I want him to want to do this for himself, and I didn't feel like anything was unusual until I noticed one if his scars becoming inflamed, and then I started to feel more suspicious. I wasn't just rubbing his leg, he was in the bathroom for like ten minutes, and I was touching him after but then I decided that maybe I should investigate. I trust him, but I'm not dumb, I know he doesn't want to tell me something that could potentially end out relationship. I'm just so confused and I'm really sad for him, because I know he wants to be progressing and it so hard all the time. I don't know what that's like, and I want to offer a reasonable amount of patience, I just do t knew what that is.

That's exactly how I feel about it. He said himself he missed the needle, and of course he promised to stop, but it just seems like a relapse waiting I happen

 

[Mysterie]

ur right, he has to stop because he wants to, and, he will resent you if you are checking up on him/acting 'spicious

if he does seriously fall back into the grips of heroin or another hard opiate, then you probably should leave until he can get his life in order

and it wont be hard to tell once that happens, until then just offer support when he needs it

 

[pofacedhoe]

Drugusergf

when responding to someones posts use the quote button at the bottom of their post that way others know what you are replying to

if you want to add more to your own posts then just go to edit at the bottom of your post

also good luck with this guy. for me anyone still chasing a rush does not want to quit