TDS The nightmare ended...and not in a good way

[somasoldier]

I posted on here before warning to stay away from benzos/alcohol/soma as it has ruined my life. Left me broke and homeless, despite my efforts to get clean and stay away from the lifestyle ( i did manage to bring my alcohol down to 2 drinks a day from 6) but it all endded. I got arrested for armed robbery, assault and animal cruelty. I ran into some money and went on a 2 week bender (20 bars a day and went through 2 pints of tussionex) plus god knows what else as I cant remember anything. My "friend" just got out of prison and decided to as we say "hitta lick", said the guy didnt have a gun or dog so we ran into the house I hit the guy over the head with a lead pipe and took the 2000 pills and 5+grand in cash until the guys wife let the pitbull out and it latched on to my friends leg, I had to kill the dog to get it off him. Needless to say it made a lot of noise and we were caught a week later. Anyone reading this, please PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE dont ever mess with benzos it turns you into a monster. I would never do anything like this sober, I had to literally beg my mom to bail me out just so I can make an attempt to taper off so I wont be withdrawing in prison. My bender has left me brain dead I can barely put a sentence together when speaking, now my life is completely over. I will have to serve 3-5 years in prison and now have a violent felony on my record so I will never be able to get a good job. This isnt a pity post, everything Ive done Ive put myself in the situation, but a warning to anyone, just leave the stuff alone. Smoke some weed have a couple beers. Benzos are evil, on a bender or binge I cant count how many fights I have gotten into and dont remember a god damn thing about them. Even if you best friend offers you a little bar just leave it alone, I wish I could change everything I have done but cant change the past. YOUNG PEOPLE OLD PEOPLE ANYBODY PLEASE DONT MESS WITH BENZOS ESPECIALLY XANAX ITS SO EASY TO GET NOWADAYS, EVEN IF THIS HELPS 1 PERSON NOT GET ADDICTED TO THIS SHIT ITS WORTH IT.

 

[Cosmic Trigger]

Well at least you did this much. A cautionary tale for sure. I'm sorry you've fucked up your life so badly.

 

[Muzda Jonxx]

I did some screwy things on benzos too. For a time I blamed them for my actions, like there was benzo me and normal me.

Trouble is though, it was all me. Definitely true to say the benzos brought out a dark side I never knew I had. But that dark side was in me all the time, it must have been or it would never have surfaced.

The only way I could find any semblance of peace was to accept that I do have that dark side, it was all me, drugged up or not. Pisses me off when people cheat on their partners and then try to say 'it wasn't me, I was drunk. Or whatever. Now, all I can do is accept and to do everything I can in my life from this point to be the best I can be to others. Hopefully I can attone for some of the pain I caused the others in my life when I fucked myself up.

I do agree with one thing though, benzos are bad news.

 

[somasoldier]

I did some screwy things on benzos too. For a time I blamed them for my actions, like there was benzo me and normal me.

Trouble is though, it was all me. Definitely true to say the benzos brought out a dark side I never knew I had. But that dark side was in me all the time, it must have been or it would never have surfaced.

The only way I could find any semblance of peace was to accept that I do have that dark side, it was all me, drugged up or not. Pisses me off when people cheat on their partners and then try to say 'it wasn't me, I was drunk. Or whatever. Now, all I can do is accept and to do everything I can in my life from this point to be the best I can be to others. Hopefully I can attone for some of the pain I caused the others in my life when I fucked myself up.

I do agree with one thing though, benzos are bad news.

I agree with you man, I take full responsiblitly for what i did.I dont blame benzos for what I did they just fueled me to do it more,I kicked my first door in when i was 17 sober for an oz of weed. Have had guns to my head while selling coke, its a ruthless cycle that never ends. Ive been involved crime and crime has been around me my whole life. Seeing friends and family go in and out of prison is the norm where I live. The benzos just allow your inner demons to come out full force, people out here taking bars like m&ms and sipping on lean or tussionex a fight breaks out and 99% time someone gets shot. The movies glamorize selling dope and being in gangs and shit but in reality its just a ticking time bomb till u die or end up in jail or getting robbed by people who you thought u were friends as the saying goes "theres no honor among thieves"

 

[Muzda Jonxx]

Fair play. You've definitely posted this in the right forum. I don't know what I think to all this really. Benzos definitely make people do stuff they wouldn't normally do As mentioned above, it's good that you've posted this scare story, and it's good that you're accepting responsibility. I hope you get over the worst of the xanax withdrawal before they send you down. Really is a terrible situation from every angle, hope you get yourself sorted out.