The Multiverse Mindset
Introductions:
The people involved in this story are people I’ve become friends with over the past year to 4 months. Their “names”, for sake of their privacy, are Son, Medved, Boris, Tattoos, Bomber, Oman and Racer.
I’ve known Medved the longest, for little over a year, Boris and Oman for 8 months, Son for four months and Bomber and Racer are new acquaintances to me but they are longtime friends of Oman. Tattoos is also a new friend of mine.
Bomber and Racer came here from a different city to try the tea with me and Oman. Oman and Bomber have tried psychedelic truffles and Racer is totally new to psychedelics so we’re really throwing him into the deep end of the pool here as you’ll see later.
Preface:
Before this experience I’ve had numerous psychedelic experiences with psilocybin mushrooms, LSD, MDMA and some other compounds. I’ve done LSD 20-30 times and the experience has varied greatly from time to time. I’ve had very introvert trips where I’ve been digging through my psychological structure that makes up my person and examined it from an objective perspective. It’s been daunting and overwhelming at times but the more I’ve taken LSD I’ve found myself ”learning to swim”. Basically I’ve taken enough that I now feel at home in the experience of a psychedelic trip so I’ve been drawn to ayahuasca as I’ve heard countless testimonials of the effects of DMT and how everyone seems to have very similar experiences.
What’s most intriguing is the aspect of some sort of ”spirit guide” which could give you a slap across the face when you haven’t been living your life truthfully, this, general curiosity and a thirst for adventure is what’s driven me to try the vine of the dead.
Before this trip I had tried ayahuasca once. I was taught to cook it by a friend of a friend, from a different university in my country. The first experience with ayahuasca was not what I had expected it to be, it was very similar to mushrooms, there were closed eye visuals and the strong sense of simultaneous separation and connection between mind and body. However this was 4 months previous to the experience I will discuss today and at this point I’ve had a lot of experience with psychedelics. Keeping that in mind, that trip was the best one I’ve had up until that point. This feeling, that ”that was the best trip I’ve ever had” was very new to me then but after my last trip it has revisited me.
Preparations:
After some difficulties obtaining the ingredients for the brew, I finally got my syrian rue and acacia confusa and was ready to get cookin’. My day started around 9, I went to school and studied until just after 4 pm.
The brew was on the stove for about 2 hours, I cooked the root bark and syrian rue separately like I had been taught.
The plan was to have the brew done by sundown and go to a nearby lake, light a fire and trip. We were quite a big group of eight people but only four of us would drink the tea. As this was my first batch I wasn’t very careful with the dosage of root bark but i put alot of water in it so we ended up with about two liters of bark tea.
I had not had anything to eat since lunchtime except some fruit and no weed for a week, I wanted the experience to be as pure as possible and I had been looking forward to a ceremony of some sort. As the event drew closer I realized I really didn’t want to take charge of the situation as much since there were so many in our group who wouldn’t partake of the drink. I decided it would be better to just drink it and ”stay afloat” on the vast sea of the mind instead of forcing everyone underwater.
Bottoms up:
As dusk drew closer and closer we packed the car and prepared to go to the lake. We drank the syrian rue, which was quite mild, I had mixed it with a lot of mashed kiwi-fruits so it wasn’t at all bitter.
We got to the lake and walked for about 10 minutes to a fireplace that just at the edge of a peninsula, very close to the water. Quite possibly a perfect place to drink it in my opinion. We only had one car so everyone couldn’t go at the same time, our driver, Racer went two trips to pick up Medved, Tattoos and Boris while me, Son, Bomber and Oman made a fire and waited anxiously for them to arrive so we could embark on our journey.
The sun had just gone down and it had been a little over an hour since we’ve had the syrian rue, I think it might have been a pretty big dose because we were all a little dizzy from it but it wasn’t too bad.
We had brought plastic cups to drink from and the bark tea was contained in plastic bottles, two 1.5 liters that were both half full. We had the first drink, about 175 ml each, it was pretty disgusting. I instantly felt like I could throw up but kept it down. There was still some left in the bottle so we finished it. The other guys weren’t so keen on it so I gave myself twice as much as the others got.
Let it begin:
I instantly felt like something had given me a kick so I quickly receded to a more quite place at the edge of the water where I took my lotus pose for some meditation. I tried telling Boris to keep track of time for us but midsentence I realized that it was arbitrary and if we wanted to drink more we would know it, not by time but gut feeling.
As I walked, slowly towards the edge of the water I felt like I was enthralled by the scenery. The lake was completely still and perfectly reflected the evening sky, it looked like a perfect aquarelle painting, completely serene and wonderful. The clouds were still and glowed of reddish-pink from the lingering sunset beyond the pine trees at the other side of the lake. As I sat there I could hear the others talking and their little portable speaker playing some reggae. It was a little annoying to hear them commenting me in third person like ”look at him, he’s meditating like a Jedi”, but I did my best to focus on my breathing while listening instead to the sound of birds making their funny sounds.
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath through my nose and felt a tingle from the root of my spine, surging up through my body to my crown, lighting up my brain like firework and a pulsating sensation in my third eye area. I hadn’t been there for long before I heard a camera snapping behind me, I glanced around with a grin and saw Son photographing me like a paparazzi. ”Didn’t think I’d notice” I thought to myself.
Slowly but surely I felt my stomach quesing and turning and I prepared myself for the inevitable regurgitation of the drink. I could hear the others starting to throw up one by one but didn’t turn to look, I just found a suitable place for myself to do my business and soon enough I was puking like crazy.
Most people I’ve talked to about this have been very intrigued by the effects put extremely put off by the prospect of throwing up like that. It really doesn’t bother me but damn, I was throwing up a lot and so were the others, all at once. It was quite comical. As soon as I was done I felt energized and got back on my feet to see the others bent over and throwing up like crazy. Oman, who is a pretty big guy, 190cm in height and some 100kg in weight was standing on all fours on a rock and making a puke-shower over the lake. I knew that the other guys hadn’t really followed the recommended diet so for a second I was worried that he might shit himself too. Luckily this didn’t happen.
As soon as everyone was done we got on our feet. Me, being the most experience in psychedelics felt calm, happy, energized and excited. I remember saying ”I feel like doing backflips” because I was feeling so light. Bomber, Racer and Oman on the other hand seemed disoriented and a little overwhelmed. Son asked me how I was doing and I told her that yes, I’m starting to trip now. I could feel the fireworks in my brain and my third-eye area pulsating still.
I explained to her, as best as I could, that the onset was like being detached from the perceived reality of things and people and entering into a parallel existence, where I exist not only as a human being but simultaneously existing in some sort of mind reality which is out of reach, abstract. I told her I felt detached from the concept of other people’s lives affecting mine in any way.
I stepped away from Son and a red glow in caught my eye. Medved, Boris and Tattoos had lit up a spliff so I stepped into the circle and took a couple of puffs. It felt nice, not very strong but it felt good to give the trip a little kick. I stepped out of the circle again and walked around a little bit, aimlessly, feeling almost as if I was starting to come down already and I actually suggested drinking another cup but after throwing up it didn’t seem very appealing.
The Edge:
I can’t say how long it had been but I noticed Bomber sitting on a log, looking low so I asked him how he was feeling and he was freaking out. I tried to guide him as best as I could, not considering my own trip at all really, I tried telling him that it was all in his head and that it would be over soon. He tried to grasp it I think but he was having a really hard time.
I stood up and went out to look at the view of the lake. The stars were starting to show and it was going dark. All that was left of the sunset was a faint yellow tint at the edge of the sky. As I was looking out over the water I noticed something that I had never seen before; through all of my trips I’ve never had very strong visuals, at most I’ve seen things moving in ways they usually don’t move, like dancing motions. I’ve had closed-eye visuals of sacred geometry and the clearest CEV I’ve had on ayahuasca. This time however, as I was standing by the edge of the lake, overlooking it I could see fractals like cogwheels turning and composing intricate patterns and geometries. I was witnessing sacred geometry for the first time in my life and this was very exciting for me.
At first it seemed like the shapes where composing world which I was viewing, like the cloud was somehow made up of all these triangles, circles and fractals turning and twisting.
The more I looked at it the more I saw it as a layer on top of the ”real” world. I could see it zooming out and I saw what looked like a hindu god in a painting but I had the strong sensation that I wasnt seeing the whole painting. I saw what looked like a border to this; ”painting and it must’ve been the lower right corner. I held my hands out in front of my face and they looked like they had a layer of sacred geometry plastered all over them as well. Behind me Oman was sitting and I looked him in the face and whispered; ”I’m in the matrix”. Looking at his face I saw a pattern of red, yellow and green cannabis leaves covering his skin.
I kept walking about, sitting down, standing up, examining the experience from different angles and realized that this must’ve been one hell of a drink we’ve had because we were all tripping balls from what we thought would be half a dose. We still had just much drink left as we had already drunk.
I kept trying to guide Bomber through the trip because at this point he wanted to leave because he couldn’t handle it. I tried telling him that no matter where he is he’s not going to feel better, he has to deal with it internally. However it didn’t seem to stick. I’d like to think I gave him some good advice but I realized that I ended up telling him what to do when really he shouldn’t do anything.
Oman just exclaimed; ”Holy shit man we’re all fucked up, just let it fuck you!”
Through this whole thing I have the; ”usual” psychoactive effects like racing thoughts and overanalyzing them. I’ve been getting better at not overanalyzing every thought I have on a daily basis so I felt like it was easier to tune out from that during this experience.
Boris and Medved, who are not at all experienced with psychedelics were bothering Oman by creeping behind him and poking him with a stick. This was their way of trying to give him a trip, it was very ineffective. I’ve always been attentative of applied psychology so when I saw this I exclaimed; ”why are you ganging up on him, such a negative group-behaviour”. I’m not sure if they were offended or not but they stopped after that.
The ride gets smoother:
I eventually find a comfortable rock to sit on, overlooking the lake next to Oman and we came to talking about what we were experiencing. We had a lengthy conversation and seemed to understand each other very easily, we usually don’t have very deep conversations, me and Oman, but now seemed like a suitable time to have one so we started dissecting the experience.
It seemed like Medved and Boris were coming to us and asking questions we don’t have answers to, or even could have answers to so the question became why the shit would we know? And why do we care so much? As humans why do we constantly take on other humans problems? Both me and Oman repeatedly found ourselves completing each other sentences as well as trying to over explain things that, to a sober person are painfully obvious, but between me and him it seemed like a sensible way to have a conversation.
We sat there, comparing each other’s past lives and how we came to where we were. Discussing how our ideas and opinions have been molded by society. Looking back at all the media we’ve been blasted with since we were kids, how we’ve to some degree adopted the values of cartoons we used to watch. I think we both felt a sense of renewal to our friendship and a connection that hadn’t been there before.
We discussed society and the implications of society on the human mind. Now that I look back at this conversation it’s hard to collect it. It’s memory seems incoherent and distorted. I remember telling Son about the multiverse theory and really wanting to do math after both me and Oman came to the conclusion that math is a language for the abstract.
During this I experienced my mind melding together with the physical reality around me, I tried putting it into exact words but as I did I realized it was impossible, it’s the fundamental problem of experiences, they can only be expressed by proxy to someone who is not experiencing it with you. I think this is where the sense of connection between me and Oman came from, that we were both experiencing this unspeakable experience.
Communication felt like a protocol that your mind runs each time it wants to check the properties of some thing. Sometimes abstract, sometimes concrete. It was like my mind and the minds of those around me were ”pinging” left and right, looking for the response it desired. Trying to explain what I was experiencing to Son was very much like this, my mind tried something that might resonate with her mind, when it didn’t it would try something else. It was easy for physical objects but more difficult with abstract thought. I would studded a lot because my mind was racing much faster than my mouth could keep up with.
To describe it as accurately as possible I’ll say that it felt like my head had small wooden doors that had been opened up and my mind and body was connected to some sort of energy field, surging through the entirety of reality. I study math and physics so to me, everything in the world has a mathematical code behind it, expressed and demonstrated by physics. I felt like i could take a pair of tweezers, pick knowledge from the world and put it in my head. I closed my eyes for a moment and saw my body and mind as a part of the endless fractal patterns and sacred geometry I saw earlier, looking out over the lake.
As we were sitting there, Boris and Bomber had gone back to campus where we all live. They were supposed to have taken the car but had forgot the keys and so they had to walk all the way back. Amidst all this me and Oman felt like we were being prompted to do something about it and exclaimed that it was someone else’s problem. Racer was sitting at the fire the entire time; he didn’t say much but at least he wasn’t having a bad trip.
Coming back
As the dark of night grew deeper we realized that we were starting to come down from our flight. Now was the perfect time to smoke grass. Medved rolled a spliff and we smoked, softening our landing. I could feel the the conversation between me and Oman becoming less and less coherent. We realized that the sensation of perfect coherence in the conversation came from us both sitting down with our heads on the same level and sharing a bubble of existence, as soon as I stepped away from where he was sitting it was instantly harder to keep the coherent and solid nature of our communication.
In a way it was disappointing to think that when you have that kind of conversation with someone, where some things are left unvoiced but simply implied by the conversation, that maybe we’re thinking of completely different things. But I found resolve in thinking that if agreement is voiced over something internal to each individual then there is no reason dispute the coherence of thought between the two individuals.
So we put out the fire, gather our thing and went on our way back to the car. Son got to carry the flashlight so she took the lead. Treading on the rocky path back the way we came I found myself becoming annoyed with Medved because he was constantly saying Son didn’t know where she was going when we clearly were on the right path.
Eventually we got home and as usual there were drunk people partying on campus. I felt kind of repulsed by it and wanted no part in indulging in alcohol. I went in to the community kitchen in my dorm and there were a bunch of people there. Too overwhelming for me, I didn’t know any of them and my mind could not handle the intensity of social interaction on such a scale.
I quickly went to my room, I was tired and needed rest. Son knocked on my door a couple of time to check up on me and asked if I wanted to come to Boris room and smoke some more but I was far too tired. I eventually fell asleep.
The next day:
I woke up, much later than usual, around 10 am. Got up and felt quite good but still tired. I went to Oman’s place to find my wallet in Racer’s car. I had a quick recap with Bomber, Racer and Oman and to my delight I heard that Bomber had still enjoyed is experience to some degree, even though he had had problems handling it. He told me had seen worms and insects creeping around on the ground, that the fire he had been sitting at had grown roots that reached all the way to the earth core. He told me that he had tried to listen to my guidance as well as he could but that it had been too difficult to grasp. After all, that was a very potent drink. Bomber told me that he had felt trapped at that place since we told him that we weren’t going to leave before he got himself sorted out. Racer didn’t seem to be able to put words to his experience.
Summary:
Ayahuasca remains at the top of my list, it by far the best psychedelic I’ve tried and I look forward to doing it again but under more ceremonious circumstances. I’m not sure if the psychedelic world me and Oman found ourselves in is something that can be excavated further or if it’s simply a parallel world to the physical world we experience every day. Either way I think DMT and Ayahuasca is something I want to have in my life, however I think some pause from psychedelics is warranted after this incredibly powerful experience.
Grade: 5/5! Best trip of my life! (so far)
Thank you for reading, it was a little long than I expected it to be and I hope I didn't repeat myself too much!
Introductions:
The people involved in this story are people I’ve become friends with over the past year to 4 months. Their “names”, for sake of their privacy, are Son, Medved, Boris, Tattoos, Bomber, Oman and Racer.
I’ve known Medved the longest, for little over a year, Boris and Oman for 8 months, Son for four months and Bomber and Racer are new acquaintances to me but they are longtime friends of Oman. Tattoos is also a new friend of mine.
Bomber and Racer came here from a different city to try the tea with me and Oman. Oman and Bomber have tried psychedelic truffles and Racer is totally new to psychedelics so we’re really throwing him into the deep end of the pool here as you’ll see later.
Preface:
Before this experience I’ve had numerous psychedelic experiences with psilocybin mushrooms, LSD, MDMA and some other compounds. I’ve done LSD 20-30 times and the experience has varied greatly from time to time. I’ve had very introvert trips where I’ve been digging through my psychological structure that makes up my person and examined it from an objective perspective. It’s been daunting and overwhelming at times but the more I’ve taken LSD I’ve found myself ”learning to swim”. Basically I’ve taken enough that I now feel at home in the experience of a psychedelic trip so I’ve been drawn to ayahuasca as I’ve heard countless testimonials of the effects of DMT and how everyone seems to have very similar experiences.
What’s most intriguing is the aspect of some sort of ”spirit guide” which could give you a slap across the face when you haven’t been living your life truthfully, this, general curiosity and a thirst for adventure is what’s driven me to try the vine of the dead.
Before this trip I had tried ayahuasca once. I was taught to cook it by a friend of a friend, from a different university in my country. The first experience with ayahuasca was not what I had expected it to be, it was very similar to mushrooms, there were closed eye visuals and the strong sense of simultaneous separation and connection between mind and body. However this was 4 months previous to the experience I will discuss today and at this point I’ve had a lot of experience with psychedelics. Keeping that in mind, that trip was the best one I’ve had up until that point. This feeling, that ”that was the best trip I’ve ever had” was very new to me then but after my last trip it has revisited me.
Preparations:
After some difficulties obtaining the ingredients for the brew, I finally got my syrian rue and acacia confusa and was ready to get cookin’. My day started around 9, I went to school and studied until just after 4 pm.
The brew was on the stove for about 2 hours, I cooked the root bark and syrian rue separately like I had been taught.
The plan was to have the brew done by sundown and go to a nearby lake, light a fire and trip. We were quite a big group of eight people but only four of us would drink the tea. As this was my first batch I wasn’t very careful with the dosage of root bark but i put alot of water in it so we ended up with about two liters of bark tea.
I had not had anything to eat since lunchtime except some fruit and no weed for a week, I wanted the experience to be as pure as possible and I had been looking forward to a ceremony of some sort. As the event drew closer I realized I really didn’t want to take charge of the situation as much since there were so many in our group who wouldn’t partake of the drink. I decided it would be better to just drink it and ”stay afloat” on the vast sea of the mind instead of forcing everyone underwater.
Bottoms up:
As dusk drew closer and closer we packed the car and prepared to go to the lake. We drank the syrian rue, which was quite mild, I had mixed it with a lot of mashed kiwi-fruits so it wasn’t at all bitter.
We got to the lake and walked for about 10 minutes to a fireplace that just at the edge of a peninsula, very close to the water. Quite possibly a perfect place to drink it in my opinion. We only had one car so everyone couldn’t go at the same time, our driver, Racer went two trips to pick up Medved, Tattoos and Boris while me, Son, Bomber and Oman made a fire and waited anxiously for them to arrive so we could embark on our journey.
The sun had just gone down and it had been a little over an hour since we’ve had the syrian rue, I think it might have been a pretty big dose because we were all a little dizzy from it but it wasn’t too bad.
We had brought plastic cups to drink from and the bark tea was contained in plastic bottles, two 1.5 liters that were both half full. We had the first drink, about 175 ml each, it was pretty disgusting. I instantly felt like I could throw up but kept it down. There was still some left in the bottle so we finished it. The other guys weren’t so keen on it so I gave myself twice as much as the others got.
Let it begin:
I instantly felt like something had given me a kick so I quickly receded to a more quite place at the edge of the water where I took my lotus pose for some meditation. I tried telling Boris to keep track of time for us but midsentence I realized that it was arbitrary and if we wanted to drink more we would know it, not by time but gut feeling.
As I walked, slowly towards the edge of the water I felt like I was enthralled by the scenery. The lake was completely still and perfectly reflected the evening sky, it looked like a perfect aquarelle painting, completely serene and wonderful. The clouds were still and glowed of reddish-pink from the lingering sunset beyond the pine trees at the other side of the lake. As I sat there I could hear the others talking and their little portable speaker playing some reggae. It was a little annoying to hear them commenting me in third person like ”look at him, he’s meditating like a Jedi”, but I did my best to focus on my breathing while listening instead to the sound of birds making their funny sounds.
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath through my nose and felt a tingle from the root of my spine, surging up through my body to my crown, lighting up my brain like firework and a pulsating sensation in my third eye area. I hadn’t been there for long before I heard a camera snapping behind me, I glanced around with a grin and saw Son photographing me like a paparazzi. ”Didn’t think I’d notice” I thought to myself.
Slowly but surely I felt my stomach quesing and turning and I prepared myself for the inevitable regurgitation of the drink. I could hear the others starting to throw up one by one but didn’t turn to look, I just found a suitable place for myself to do my business and soon enough I was puking like crazy.
Most people I’ve talked to about this have been very intrigued by the effects put extremely put off by the prospect of throwing up like that. It really doesn’t bother me but damn, I was throwing up a lot and so were the others, all at once. It was quite comical. As soon as I was done I felt energized and got back on my feet to see the others bent over and throwing up like crazy. Oman, who is a pretty big guy, 190cm in height and some 100kg in weight was standing on all fours on a rock and making a puke-shower over the lake. I knew that the other guys hadn’t really followed the recommended diet so for a second I was worried that he might shit himself too. Luckily this didn’t happen.
As soon as everyone was done we got on our feet. Me, being the most experience in psychedelics felt calm, happy, energized and excited. I remember saying ”I feel like doing backflips” because I was feeling so light. Bomber, Racer and Oman on the other hand seemed disoriented and a little overwhelmed. Son asked me how I was doing and I told her that yes, I’m starting to trip now. I could feel the fireworks in my brain and my third-eye area pulsating still.
I explained to her, as best as I could, that the onset was like being detached from the perceived reality of things and people and entering into a parallel existence, where I exist not only as a human being but simultaneously existing in some sort of mind reality which is out of reach, abstract. I told her I felt detached from the concept of other people’s lives affecting mine in any way.
I stepped away from Son and a red glow in caught my eye. Medved, Boris and Tattoos had lit up a spliff so I stepped into the circle and took a couple of puffs. It felt nice, not very strong but it felt good to give the trip a little kick. I stepped out of the circle again and walked around a little bit, aimlessly, feeling almost as if I was starting to come down already and I actually suggested drinking another cup but after throwing up it didn’t seem very appealing.
The Edge:
I can’t say how long it had been but I noticed Bomber sitting on a log, looking low so I asked him how he was feeling and he was freaking out. I tried to guide him as best as I could, not considering my own trip at all really, I tried telling him that it was all in his head and that it would be over soon. He tried to grasp it I think but he was having a really hard time.
I stood up and went out to look at the view of the lake. The stars were starting to show and it was going dark. All that was left of the sunset was a faint yellow tint at the edge of the sky. As I was looking out over the water I noticed something that I had never seen before; through all of my trips I’ve never had very strong visuals, at most I’ve seen things moving in ways they usually don’t move, like dancing motions. I’ve had closed-eye visuals of sacred geometry and the clearest CEV I’ve had on ayahuasca. This time however, as I was standing by the edge of the lake, overlooking it I could see fractals like cogwheels turning and composing intricate patterns and geometries. I was witnessing sacred geometry for the first time in my life and this was very exciting for me.
At first it seemed like the shapes where composing world which I was viewing, like the cloud was somehow made up of all these triangles, circles and fractals turning and twisting.
The more I looked at it the more I saw it as a layer on top of the ”real” world. I could see it zooming out and I saw what looked like a hindu god in a painting but I had the strong sensation that I wasnt seeing the whole painting. I saw what looked like a border to this; ”painting and it must’ve been the lower right corner. I held my hands out in front of my face and they looked like they had a layer of sacred geometry plastered all over them as well. Behind me Oman was sitting and I looked him in the face and whispered; ”I’m in the matrix”. Looking at his face I saw a pattern of red, yellow and green cannabis leaves covering his skin.
I kept walking about, sitting down, standing up, examining the experience from different angles and realized that this must’ve been one hell of a drink we’ve had because we were all tripping balls from what we thought would be half a dose. We still had just much drink left as we had already drunk.
I kept trying to guide Bomber through the trip because at this point he wanted to leave because he couldn’t handle it. I tried telling him that no matter where he is he’s not going to feel better, he has to deal with it internally. However it didn’t seem to stick. I’d like to think I gave him some good advice but I realized that I ended up telling him what to do when really he shouldn’t do anything.
Oman just exclaimed; ”Holy shit man we’re all fucked up, just let it fuck you!”
Through this whole thing I have the; ”usual” psychoactive effects like racing thoughts and overanalyzing them. I’ve been getting better at not overanalyzing every thought I have on a daily basis so I felt like it was easier to tune out from that during this experience.
Boris and Medved, who are not at all experienced with psychedelics were bothering Oman by creeping behind him and poking him with a stick. This was their way of trying to give him a trip, it was very ineffective. I’ve always been attentative of applied psychology so when I saw this I exclaimed; ”why are you ganging up on him, such a negative group-behaviour”. I’m not sure if they were offended or not but they stopped after that.
The ride gets smoother:
I eventually find a comfortable rock to sit on, overlooking the lake next to Oman and we came to talking about what we were experiencing. We had a lengthy conversation and seemed to understand each other very easily, we usually don’t have very deep conversations, me and Oman, but now seemed like a suitable time to have one so we started dissecting the experience.
It seemed like Medved and Boris were coming to us and asking questions we don’t have answers to, or even could have answers to so the question became why the shit would we know? And why do we care so much? As humans why do we constantly take on other humans problems? Both me and Oman repeatedly found ourselves completing each other sentences as well as trying to over explain things that, to a sober person are painfully obvious, but between me and him it seemed like a sensible way to have a conversation.
We sat there, comparing each other’s past lives and how we came to where we were. Discussing how our ideas and opinions have been molded by society. Looking back at all the media we’ve been blasted with since we were kids, how we’ve to some degree adopted the values of cartoons we used to watch. I think we both felt a sense of renewal to our friendship and a connection that hadn’t been there before.
We discussed society and the implications of society on the human mind. Now that I look back at this conversation it’s hard to collect it. It’s memory seems incoherent and distorted. I remember telling Son about the multiverse theory and really wanting to do math after both me and Oman came to the conclusion that math is a language for the abstract.
During this I experienced my mind melding together with the physical reality around me, I tried putting it into exact words but as I did I realized it was impossible, it’s the fundamental problem of experiences, they can only be expressed by proxy to someone who is not experiencing it with you. I think this is where the sense of connection between me and Oman came from, that we were both experiencing this unspeakable experience.
Communication felt like a protocol that your mind runs each time it wants to check the properties of some thing. Sometimes abstract, sometimes concrete. It was like my mind and the minds of those around me were ”pinging” left and right, looking for the response it desired. Trying to explain what I was experiencing to Son was very much like this, my mind tried something that might resonate with her mind, when it didn’t it would try something else. It was easy for physical objects but more difficult with abstract thought. I would studded a lot because my mind was racing much faster than my mouth could keep up with.
To describe it as accurately as possible I’ll say that it felt like my head had small wooden doors that had been opened up and my mind and body was connected to some sort of energy field, surging through the entirety of reality. I study math and physics so to me, everything in the world has a mathematical code behind it, expressed and demonstrated by physics. I felt like i could take a pair of tweezers, pick knowledge from the world and put it in my head. I closed my eyes for a moment and saw my body and mind as a part of the endless fractal patterns and sacred geometry I saw earlier, looking out over the lake.
As we were sitting there, Boris and Bomber had gone back to campus where we all live. They were supposed to have taken the car but had forgot the keys and so they had to walk all the way back. Amidst all this me and Oman felt like we were being prompted to do something about it and exclaimed that it was someone else’s problem. Racer was sitting at the fire the entire time; he didn’t say much but at least he wasn’t having a bad trip.
Coming back
As the dark of night grew deeper we realized that we were starting to come down from our flight. Now was the perfect time to smoke grass. Medved rolled a spliff and we smoked, softening our landing. I could feel the the conversation between me and Oman becoming less and less coherent. We realized that the sensation of perfect coherence in the conversation came from us both sitting down with our heads on the same level and sharing a bubble of existence, as soon as I stepped away from where he was sitting it was instantly harder to keep the coherent and solid nature of our communication.
In a way it was disappointing to think that when you have that kind of conversation with someone, where some things are left unvoiced but simply implied by the conversation, that maybe we’re thinking of completely different things. But I found resolve in thinking that if agreement is voiced over something internal to each individual then there is no reason dispute the coherence of thought between the two individuals.
So we put out the fire, gather our thing and went on our way back to the car. Son got to carry the flashlight so she took the lead. Treading on the rocky path back the way we came I found myself becoming annoyed with Medved because he was constantly saying Son didn’t know where she was going when we clearly were on the right path.
Eventually we got home and as usual there were drunk people partying on campus. I felt kind of repulsed by it and wanted no part in indulging in alcohol. I went in to the community kitchen in my dorm and there were a bunch of people there. Too overwhelming for me, I didn’t know any of them and my mind could not handle the intensity of social interaction on such a scale.
I quickly went to my room, I was tired and needed rest. Son knocked on my door a couple of time to check up on me and asked if I wanted to come to Boris room and smoke some more but I was far too tired. I eventually fell asleep.
The next day:
I woke up, much later than usual, around 10 am. Got up and felt quite good but still tired. I went to Oman’s place to find my wallet in Racer’s car. I had a quick recap with Bomber, Racer and Oman and to my delight I heard that Bomber had still enjoyed is experience to some degree, even though he had had problems handling it. He told me had seen worms and insects creeping around on the ground, that the fire he had been sitting at had grown roots that reached all the way to the earth core. He told me that he had tried to listen to my guidance as well as he could but that it had been too difficult to grasp. After all, that was a very potent drink. Bomber told me that he had felt trapped at that place since we told him that we weren’t going to leave before he got himself sorted out. Racer didn’t seem to be able to put words to his experience.
Summary:
Ayahuasca remains at the top of my list, it by far the best psychedelic I’ve tried and I look forward to doing it again but under more ceremonious circumstances. I’m not sure if the psychedelic world me and Oman found ourselves in is something that can be excavated further or if it’s simply a parallel world to the physical world we experience every day. Either way I think DMT and Ayahuasca is something I want to have in my life, however I think some pause from psychedelics is warranted after this incredibly powerful experience.
Grade: 5/5! Best trip of my life! (so far)
Thank you for reading, it was a little long than I expected it to be and I hope I didn't repeat myself too much!
