So this is kind of a long story, but I would like to know your opinion about it.
To give you some background context, I already had 3 psychotic episodes in my life, in all of the times I got prescribed some pills to handle it the syntoms, like Invega, Zyprexa and Olanzanpine.
In the first two episodes the doctors told me that the cause was drugs like weed, but after the second I stopped doing any drugs, only drinked alcohol once in a while, according to them the third episode
was triggered by a huge amount of stress (I was having at work on that time).
This last episode was last year (2017) in April, I was in pills till September and then I stop taking it by my own will, even against doctors support, just because I always hated these kind of pills negative symptoms
like zombie feeling, no motivation, depression, slow thinking and weight gain.
The thing is that I start to think globally in all my life and my thoughts, even before the first episode, I start reading a lot about some spiritual stuff, like Law of Attraction and so on.
I think that my had triggered everything, I started giving and finding meanings to everything that happened in my life after those readings.
While I am on medication I am so zombiefied that I don't think on this things, on sings of universe and stuff like that.
But know it started happening again, I am starting to find meanings to stuff that I find and visualize on my daily routine life, and maybe thats something indicating that a new episode may arrive.
The point I am trying to make is, what is this thing that always happened to me?
Why do I try to find meanings to everything, why do I look for signs? how this happen? is there anything spiritual related to this? Like Universe giving me signs of something?
Or its just the disease shouting out loud?
I would like to read more about this, if this a well known process in human mentality or something, you know?
You may not relate to this, but if you do, can you give me some insights on what is happening to me?
What help can you give me about this?
If by any chance you need to know more details about the signs or anything just tell, I would really appreciate any help on this!
To give you some background context, I already had 3 psychotic episodes in my life, in all of the times I got prescribed some pills to handle it the syntoms, like Invega, Zyprexa and Olanzanpine.
In the first two episodes the doctors told me that the cause was drugs like weed, but after the second I stopped doing any drugs, only drinked alcohol once in a while, according to them the third episode
was triggered by a huge amount of stress (I was having at work on that time).
This last episode was last year (2017) in April, I was in pills till September and then I stop taking it by my own will, even against doctors support, just because I always hated these kind of pills negative symptoms
like zombie feeling, no motivation, depression, slow thinking and weight gain.
The thing is that I start to think globally in all my life and my thoughts, even before the first episode, I start reading a lot about some spiritual stuff, like Law of Attraction and so on.
I think that my had triggered everything, I started giving and finding meanings to everything that happened in my life after those readings.
While I am on medication I am so zombiefied that I don't think on this things, on sings of universe and stuff like that.
But know it started happening again, I am starting to find meanings to stuff that I find and visualize on my daily routine life, and maybe thats something indicating that a new episode may arrive.
The point I am trying to make is, what is this thing that always happened to me?
Why do I try to find meanings to everything, why do I look for signs? how this happen? is there anything spiritual related to this? Like Universe giving me signs of something?
Or its just the disease shouting out loud?
I would like to read more about this, if this a well known process in human mentality or something, you know?
You may not relate to this, but if you do, can you give me some insights on what is happening to me?
What help can you give me about this?
If by any chance you need to know more details about the signs or anything just tell, I would really appreciate any help on this!