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The Engagement/Wedding/Honeymoon thread
- Thread starter AmorRoark
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ocean
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^When is the big day??
The things I liked about my actual wedding:
No big production. IT was done in front of the courthouse, simple and easy.
Afterwards we went to a brewery with my family and his. (brothers and parents and 2 of his friends)
IF I had it to do again- I would still do no fuss- but I would do it in some natural area, like the beach or something..........and I wouldn't wear black
The things I liked about my actual wedding:
No big production. IT was done in front of the courthouse, simple and easy.
Afterwards we went to a brewery with my family and his. (brothers and parents and 2 of his friends)
IF I had it to do again- I would still do no fuss- but I would do it in some natural area, like the beach or something..........and I wouldn't wear black
AmorRoark
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Aug. 6th. I just went to try on dresses. It was pretty amazing. Sorta made me willing to do all the other work involved. I think I've found my dress! It's so beautiful!
Your approach is so lovely as well. I reallyyy love when it's just about you and your husband. We did think about going that route too. Do you have any pics of you in your beautiful black dress?
Your approach is so lovely as well. I reallyyy love when it's just about you and your husband. We did think about going that route too.
Do you have any pics of you in your beautiful black dress?
Samadhi
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Yay Amy! :D That is wonderful 
Our wedding was great - we had about 90 people (bearing in mind that hubby is the youngest of 8 with 21 nieces/nephews so 40 or so of the guest were immediate family on his side! It's impossible to have anything small when it comes to our combined families). If your family wants specific photos, do what we did and nominate one person from each side to coordinate with the family who wants what photo. My family is small, so we didn't need to, but with my husband's family - it would have taken hours if we'd not thought of that beforehand.
We had a church wedding, but it was described by a number of guests as the most secular church wedding they'd attended (which was our goal).
Our reception was a cocktail-type affair - finger food, no seating plan, good wine/beer. It was really just a great party with lots of laughter, tears, dancing.
I wish i'd been able to spend more time with people, though. Our photos took way longer than we'd planned (due to hubby's dad wanting specific sets of photos with his clan), but that's ok - while the day is primarily about the two people getting married, some concessions should be made for family
We asked the groom's sister to be the emcee of the event - she asked us a series of questions about how we wanted the day run - at first we were both a bit "whatever" but soon came to realise that there are things to think about - speeches, when food is served (either seated meals or nibbles), when the cake is cut. Even if you're not having specific traditions like cake cutting, etc, speeches are important - and to know when they'll happen is good.
Another tip, if you're not eating a 3 course meal (which forces you to sit down) is to, in between wedding/reception, have your caterers prepare something for the bridal party - to have somewhere separate - we had a 1/2hr to ourselves to have a glass of wine with some nibbles - because honestly, i didn't eat anything else after that.
We had such a wonderful, memorable day - no major hiccups at all, surrounded by people we love the most in the world - it was great to see them all together having a great time. It's really rare for my husband's side of the family to all be together at one time (living interstate, etc) so the day became more than our wedding, it became a huge family reunion - people seeing each other again, my family really getting to know his family
EDIT:
I will also endorse friends and family helping out - i feel bad that I didn't shout out to my husband's family (as well as my mum) who did SO much to help out - icluding setting up the reception/church, played the church music at the right time (we had 3 songs - walking down the aisle *Teardrop - Massive Attack* Signing the register *The Luckiest - Ben Folds* and being pronounced husband and wife *Maybe I'm Amazed - Paul McCartney*). We had an ipod on shuffle for the reception and we chose ambient contemporary stuff - Air, Massive Attack, Zero 7, etc and then 60's mowtown and 70's funk later on Great dancing music!
Our venue was all in one - it's a Catholic Conference Centre with a chapel - we had the kids under 13 in one room (with kids food) and the adults in the main dining room. The place wasn't flashy, but we did a good job making it look good We had a great wedding car (1929 Dodge convertible) and a great photographer - we didn't pay the earth for him at all, but he was one of the more expensive items on the list. We were lucky to only pay 250 for our videographer, who is an old family friend of my husband's - he works for one of the major TV stations here, so we were very lucky in that way.
We had wedding cupcakes as well, and our cake 'topper' (the part you cut) was just a giant cupcake - everyone thought it was great (including us). The cakes were AMAZING too.
We didn't scrimp on drinks - my husband's brother owns a chain of bottle shops, so he picked out really good wine and beer for us (a lot of our friends are foodies and love good alcolhol) and we didn't want people walking away from the reception saying 'great party, shit food and wine'.
Our wedding was great - we had about 90 people (bearing in mind that hubby is the youngest of 8 with 21 nieces/nephews so 40 or so of the guest were immediate family on his side! It's impossible to have anything small when it comes to our combined families). If your family wants specific photos, do what we did and nominate one person from each side to coordinate with the family who wants what photo. My family is small, so we didn't need to, but with my husband's family - it would have taken hours if we'd not thought of that beforehand.
We had a church wedding, but it was described by a number of guests as the most secular church wedding they'd attended (which was our goal).
Our reception was a cocktail-type affair - finger food, no seating plan, good wine/beer. It was really just a great party with lots of laughter, tears, dancing.
I wish i'd been able to spend more time with people, though. Our photos took way longer than we'd planned (due to hubby's dad wanting specific sets of photos with his clan), but that's ok - while the day is primarily about the two people getting married, some concessions should be made for family
We asked the groom's sister to be the emcee of the event - she asked us a series of questions about how we wanted the day run - at first we were both a bit "whatever" but soon came to realise that there are things to think about - speeches, when food is served (either seated meals or nibbles), when the cake is cut. Even if you're not having specific traditions like cake cutting, etc, speeches are important - and to know when they'll happen is good.
Another tip, if you're not eating a 3 course meal (which forces you to sit down) is to, in between wedding/reception, have your caterers prepare something for the bridal party - to have somewhere separate - we had a 1/2hr to ourselves to have a glass of wine with some nibbles - because honestly, i didn't eat anything else after that.
We had such a wonderful, memorable day - no major hiccups at all, surrounded by people we love the most in the world - it was great to see them all together having a great time. It's really rare for my husband's side of the family to all be together at one time (living interstate, etc) so the day became more than our wedding, it became a huge family reunion - people seeing each other again, my family really getting to know his family
EDIT:
I will also endorse friends and family helping out - i feel bad that I didn't shout out to my husband's family (as well as my mum) who did SO much to help out - icluding setting up the reception/church, played the church music at the right time (we had 3 songs - walking down the aisle *Teardrop - Massive Attack* Signing the register *The Luckiest - Ben Folds* and being pronounced husband and wife *Maybe I'm Amazed - Paul McCartney*). We had an ipod on shuffle for the reception and we chose ambient contemporary stuff - Air, Massive Attack, Zero 7, etc and then 60's mowtown and 70's funk later on
Great dancing music!Our venue was all in one - it's a Catholic Conference Centre with a chapel - we had the kids under 13 in one room (with kids food) and the adults in the main dining room. The place wasn't flashy, but we did a good job making it look good
We had a great wedding car (1929 Dodge convertible) and a great photographer - we didn't pay the earth for him at all, but he was one of the more expensive items on the list. We were lucky to only pay 250 for our videographer, who is an old family friend of my husband's - he works for one of the major TV stations here, so we were very lucky in that way. We had wedding cupcakes as well, and our cake 'topper' (the part you cut) was just a giant cupcake - everyone thought it was great (including us). The cakes were AMAZING too.
We didn't scrimp on drinks - my husband's brother owns a chain of bottle shops, so he picked out really good wine and beer for us (a lot of our friends are foodies and love good alcolhol) and we didn't want people walking away from the reception saying 'great party, shit food and wine'.
Last edited:
L2R
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best day ever. go through the stresses of the organising, and once shit starts falling together, just ride the momentum.
we went the middle ground. family and friends helped a lot, but we did the full nine yards (church (same place and priest who baptised me), photo shoot and then 3 course reception). we had no wedding planner/organiser. we had to run a strict budget and chopped from here and there to work with it (eg. cars. we had a pink caddy for the two of us and a stretched limo for the rest of the bridal party. i never even got a chance to see inside the limo!). my niece and childhood neighbour greeted guests at the reception. one of ff's friends made our cake and cupcakes. old mate of mine has a catering company and did the food and arranged the small boat we had the reception on (the food was incredible).
the most difficult/awkward part of the reception was not having an emcee. i created a few mix cd's to play, included a first dance (which came out really quiet). we just grabbed the mic when we were ready for speeches and did it ourselves.
i'll add some more when i think of it. happy to answer any q's you have amor (or anyone).
we went the middle ground. family and friends helped a lot, but we did the full nine yards (church (same place and priest who baptised me), photo shoot and then 3 course reception). we had no wedding planner/organiser. we had to run a strict budget and chopped from here and there to work with it (eg. cars. we had a pink caddy for the two of us and a stretched limo for the rest of the bridal party. i never even got a chance to see inside the limo!). my niece and childhood neighbour greeted guests at the reception. one of ff's friends made our cake and cupcakes. old mate of mine has a catering company and did the food and arranged the small boat we had the reception on (the food was incredible).
the most difficult/awkward part of the reception was not having an emcee. i created a few mix cd's to play, included a first dance (which came out really quiet). we just grabbed the mic when we were ready for speeches and did it ourselves.
i'll add some more when i think of it. happy to answer any q's you have amor (or anyone).
animal_cookie
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i suggest planning the wedding from out of state, so other people do all the hard work
actually, it was a pain not living where i got married. my trips back were filled with running from one place to another to get stuff figured out. and there were lots of emails back and forth with my mom who did the brunt of the work. she had the help of only two bridesmaids and my husband, the rest of the bridal party lived out of town.
we had our wedding and reception at a hotel, which i think was really useful since only about a quarter of our guests lived in the area. our ceremony was outside on a balcony. i really liked the location but i did not take into account how loud it would be. there was an air show going on that weekend and several plains flew by while we were exchanging our vows. church bells ended up ringing at some point too.
i did not want to do a receiving line, but it ended up being really helpful because we know were thanked everyone for coming and celebrating with us. at the reception, i felt like i could not have more than a 5 minute conversation with someone before another person would come along.
most of our budget went to food and liquor. we wanted our guests to be well fed and they definitely were. at the end of the night, our friends were taking beers from the bar to their rooms for later on! we had a dj which helped keep the reception flowing. we had a friend do the photography and i really wish we would have had at least a few professional photos taken.
actually, it was a pain not living where i got married. my trips back were filled with running from one place to another to get stuff figured out. and there were lots of emails back and forth with my mom who did the brunt of the work. she had the help of only two bridesmaids and my husband, the rest of the bridal party lived out of town.
we had our wedding and reception at a hotel, which i think was really useful since only about a quarter of our guests lived in the area. our ceremony was outside on a balcony. i really liked the location but i did not take into account how loud it would be. there was an air show going on that weekend and several plains flew by while we were exchanging our vows. church bells ended up ringing at some point too.
i did not want to do a receiving line, but it ended up being really helpful because we know were thanked everyone for coming and celebrating with us. at the reception, i felt like i could not have more than a 5 minute conversation with someone before another person would come along.
most of our budget went to food and liquor. we wanted our guests to be well fed and they definitely were. at the end of the night, our friends were taking beers from the bar to their rooms for later on! we had a dj which helped keep the reception flowing. we had a friend do the photography and i really wish we would have had at least a few professional photos taken.
MynameisnotDeja
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Aww, I so want to be in this thread! HINT HINT... j/k
Super fabulous congrats, Amor!
Super fabulous congrats, Amor!
AmorRoark
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Thanks for all the tips and words of wisdom everybody.
Sam - I love your set up and that there was no seating chart. It sounds very natural and relaxing. No seating chart is a no-can-do for me but I can definitely see the appeal. Thanks for the tip on the getting a little snack when we can. Before the ceremony we'll be chilling in the bridal room so I'm sure that'll be a good time for a glass of champagne and some cheese.
I've known my fiancee's family for over 5 years now so they're definitely already like family. Soo its been easy to include them. Both of his parents and my mom were here this weekend and we did a ton of wedding stuff. We figured out the wedding invitations, the rehearsal dinner spot, the shoes & the dress. :D :D They're going home tomorrow morning so I'm glad they were able to help in a lot of areas.
IP - Your wedding sounds great. I wish I could have gone.
a_c - I actually live an hour away from where our ceremony & receptions will be (both in the same spot) and it's already becoming a pain to drive there. I understand where you're coming from. We're definitely going to spend most our money on food and drinks too. Seth would rather have top shelf liquor and sacrifice some flowers lol.
So yeah, as I mentioned before I ordered my dress and I LOVE IT. It looks so good on me. I don't know how these designers are able to make every body shape look great. Fun!
I have a question - Did you guys do Save the Dates? If so, did you send it to EVERYBODY you're inviting or just some? I was told not to send it to certain people in case we decided not to invite them later (I have no clue why we wouldn't... I don't and my family doesn't have many falling outs). Any advice on this would be great.
Another question for those who rented a tux - How early did the groom go looking for tux fitting? What's normal with this part?
Sam - I love your set up and that there was no seating chart. It sounds very natural and relaxing. No seating chart is a no-can-do for me but I can definitely see the appeal.
Thanks for the tip on the getting a little snack when we can. Before the ceremony we'll be chilling in the bridal room so I'm sure that'll be a good time for a glass of champagne and some cheese. I've known my fiancee's family for over 5 years now so they're definitely already like family. Soo its been easy to include them. Both of his parents and my mom were here this weekend and we did a ton of wedding stuff. We figured out the wedding invitations, the rehearsal dinner spot, the shoes & the dress. :D :D They're going home tomorrow morning so I'm glad they were able to help in a lot of areas.
IP - Your wedding sounds great. I wish I could have gone.
a_c - I actually live an hour away from where our ceremony & receptions will be (both in the same spot) and it's already becoming a pain to drive there. I understand where you're coming from. We're definitely going to spend most our money on food and drinks too. Seth would rather have top shelf liquor and sacrifice some flowers lol.
So yeah, as I mentioned before I ordered my dress and I LOVE IT. It looks so good on me. I don't know how these designers are able to make every body shape look great. Fun!
I have a question - Did you guys do Save the Dates? If so, did you send it to EVERYBODY you're inviting or just some? I was told not to send it to certain people in case we decided not to invite them later (I have no clue why we wouldn't... I don't and my family doesn't have many falling outs). Any advice on this would be great.
Another question for those who rented a tux - How early did the groom go looking for tux fitting? What's normal with this part?
Samadhi
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We sent out a save the date email (again, saving money was a big priority) but i'm sure you could do something cute like make magnets? Another friend hosted a save the date page on their website and just emailed the link to people.
I'd send it to everyone you want there - if falling outs occur (which i'm sure they wouldn't) you can deal with it then.
With mine - we had a really small budget, so we couldn't go with a sit-down meal and yeah, for us it worked out really well However i've been to a number of weddings and the sit down ones are brilliant! It also allows the bridal party to eat too It's awesome that you've got all the family involved, it makes it that much better.
Can't help with the tux thing - my husband needed a couple of suits for work and special events (he didn't wear a tux, just a suit with an open-neck shirt - very informal), so we got a great deal on 2 suits - beautifully made, and altered.
I'd send it to everyone you want there - if falling outs occur (which i'm sure they wouldn't) you can deal with it then.
With mine - we had a really small budget, so we couldn't go with a sit-down meal and yeah, for us it worked out really well
However i've been to a number of weddings and the sit down ones are brilliant! It also allows the bridal party to eat too It's awesome that you've got all the family involved, it makes it that much better.Can't help with the tux thing - my husband needed a couple of suits for work and special events (he didn't wear a tux, just a suit with an open-neck shirt - very informal), so we got a great deal on 2 suits - beautifully made, and altered.
Hahahaha I have tried a not-so-subtle approach with my boyfriend:
Me: *super drunk and slurring* "What are you waiting forrrr?! Why won't you ask meee??"
Lol
Hopefully I will actually be able to post some good news in this thread soon
Amor, massive congrats to you again honey, so exciting!! That is great you've found your dress, in my opinion that is one of the most exciting parts of wedding planning
AmorRoark
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Sam - I really like the idea of the email save the date. I'm pretty sure it's what everybody's going to be doing in the future... especially considering save the dates are way less formal than the invitation. My mom really liked the idea of the physical save the date, and since she's basically going to calligraphy the addresses of everything we send out I went for buying 100 save the date cards (we're 150 people max.).
N3o - Thanks. I'm sure yours is coming soon too. Who wouldn't want to marry you ASAP?
N3o - Thanks. I'm sure yours is coming soon too. Who wouldn't want to marry you ASAP?
Kenickie
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i loved :
it was small, just our closest friends, my sisters and his brother and sister.
it was outside, at night (!!) in the summer, it was beautiful and cool and calm (which helped, since my best friend was 8 months pregnant, she would have died)
the reception was just our friends with little gifts for us -- berries, wine, ribbons, etc.
the "officiating person" was a close friend who made his whole speech into a joke, which was perfect.
we wrote our own vows, where we could include god or no god, and we made sure our officiating person omitted "husband & wife" and said "partners" instead.
i hated:
going to the fucking courthouse downtown
my mother bitching about me not wearing white (i wore red) -- thus she was not invited and had no idea when it happened, which sounds awful, but i don't regret it.
that i got married because i was sick and afraid of dying and marrying a native american allowed me to go to the hospital and get treatment when i couldn't have afforded it otherwise
that our marriage hurt him more than me.
overall it was a positive experience, although i'm dubious i'd ever do it again, even though i have proposed once since then.
it was small, just our closest friends, my sisters and his brother and sister.
it was outside, at night (!!) in the summer, it was beautiful and cool and calm (which helped, since my best friend was 8 months pregnant, she would have died)
the reception was just our friends with little gifts for us -- berries, wine, ribbons, etc.
the "officiating person" was a close friend who made his whole speech into a joke, which was perfect.
we wrote our own vows, where we could include god or no god, and we made sure our officiating person omitted "husband & wife" and said "partners" instead.
i hated:
going to the fucking courthouse downtown
my mother bitching about me not wearing white (i wore red) -- thus she was not invited and had no idea when it happened, which sounds awful, but i don't regret it.
that i got married because i was sick and afraid of dying and marrying a native american allowed me to go to the hospital and get treatment when i couldn't have afforded it otherwise
that our marriage hurt him more than me.
overall it was a positive experience, although i'm dubious i'd ever do it again, even though i have proposed once since then.
animal_cookie
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I have a question - Did you guys do Save the Dates? If so, did you send it to EVERYBODY you're inviting or just some? I was told not to send it to certain people in case we decided not to invite them later (I have no clue why we wouldn't... I don't and my family doesn't have many falling outs). Any advice on this would be great.
Another question for those who rented a tux - How early did the groom go looking for tux fitting? What's normal with this part?
we made magnets from vista print. i found a code online that gave some amount off plus free shipping. i forget what i payed but i thought it was very reasonable. we sent it mostly to our friends and his family; my mom was weird about sending them to my family.
my husband didn't start looking at tuxes until a few months before the wedding. i have no idea what is normal tho.
aislinnna
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Our wedding was very simple with practically no fuss. We got married at 12, so instead of having a three course meal, we had a high tea instead. We had about 55 people at ours, as we wanted to keep it small, so i was quite ruthless with the guest list.
We had no cars for the wedding, was going to be too pricey. We also did not have favours, instead people were provided with bags to take slices of the cake home with. A friend did our photography for us, and we only paid $300. I also hand made the invites, and didn't send out save the dates, as there was only 8 months between getting engaged and married. I also had the florsit next to my work do the flowers for me, and I paid just above cost price for them. Two friends did everyone's hair and make-up.
Some photos-
We had no cars for the wedding, was going to be too pricey. We also did not have favours, instead people were provided with bags to take slices of the cake home with. A friend did our photography for us, and we only paid $300. I also hand made the invites, and didn't send out save the dates, as there was only 8 months between getting engaged and married. I also had the florsit next to my work do the flowers for me, and I paid just above cost price for them. Two friends did everyone's hair and make-up.
Some photos-
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L2R
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ours was small too, only around 70 guests. this is due to the size of the boat. we only invited close relatives, godparents and the closest friends. the rest of our friends had a chance to celebrate at the "engagement" ermm... big feed and piss-up.
we didn't do a "save a date". this is the first i ever heard of it. i don't know if i get it. if you have a date, then you can invite, can't you? oh and we made our own invites too. pretty intricate ones i must say. i'll see if we still have one i can photo.
we didn't do a "save a date". this is the first i ever heard of it. i don't know if i get it. if you have a date, then you can invite, can't you? oh and we made our own invites too. pretty intricate ones i must say. i'll see if we still have one i can photo.
Samadhi
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I've always received save the date...something - be it a magnet, a card in the mail, or in our friend's case a link to a page on their website I've also received electronic invitations. We made our invites too - and to be honest, it was one of the loveliest parts of the whole wedding prep - both my husband and I made them and it was heaps of fun.
Another reason we sent out save the date emails was due to the fact that almost all of our family is either interstate or overseas - we wanted to give them as much notice as we could so they could book cheap flights/accommodation - also, our wedding was on the 30th October - right in the middle of Spring Racing Carnival (HUGE in Melbourne) so hotels, rental cars, airfares are generally more expensive - so the further out you book it, the cheaper it is. In the email, we included a list of hotels near the venue and near out house.
One other thing i loved was that we had the opportunity to have a family bbq the next day - nothing huge, just family - but it gave us an opportunity to really chat to our loved ones without all the hoo-ha of limited time.
I've also received electronic invitations. We made our invites too - and to be honest, it was one of the loveliest parts of the whole wedding prep - both my husband and I made them and it was heaps of fun. Another reason we sent out save the date emails was due to the fact that almost all of our family is either interstate or overseas - we wanted to give them as much notice as we could so they could book cheap flights/accommodation - also, our wedding was on the 30th October - right in the middle of Spring Racing Carnival (HUGE in Melbourne) so hotels, rental cars, airfares are generally more expensive - so the further out you book it, the cheaper it is.
In the email, we included a list of hotels near the venue and near out house.One other thing i loved was that we had the opportunity to have a family bbq the next day - nothing huge, just family - but it gave us an opportunity to really chat to our loved ones without all the hoo-ha of limited time.
aislinnna
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aww, those wedding photos are charming
Thank you! My photographer was amazing, and deserves all the credit. She did a fantastic job of capturing the mood of the day.
One thing on our day that we found that worked really well was having our ceremony and reception at the same place. Many of our guests made comments on how hassle free that made it.