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The Discuss Your Views on Sex Work or Prostitution Thread

Jabberwocky

Jabberwocky

Frumious Bandersnatch
Joined
Nov 3, 1999
Messages
84,998
The question of sex work (also called prostitution) arises in many SLR threads. There are strong views that it is a legitimate occupation and equally strong views that it is ethically or morally wrong either for the sex workers, their customers, or both. This thread is for discussing the pros and cons of sex work and/or prostitution. It is a serious thread that will be tightly moderated.

Please note that a number of Bluelight members have previously performed sex work or may continue to perform sex work. Consequently any posts that overly essentialise and denigrate sex workers or prostitutes will be automatically deleted. However the argument that people always have choices in their lives is an acceptable part of the conversation.
 
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In my country prostitution is decriminalized, they're talking about making laws etc for it, I hope the sex workers aren't too upset that they'll have to be paying taxes. Customers will likely be paying more too.
No idea if the pros outweigh the cons, you'll have to ask people in the business. As far as opinions go, I'm of the opinion that what people do with their bodies isn't my business either.
 
I'm fine with a woman being a lady of the night, or "sex worker", if you want to take all the romance out of it. I don't respect them any less as individuals, but I probably wouldn't take on a LTR with someone who has done it.

I was intending to respond to the sugar baby thread because I knew a few and they weren't being exploited. They set their own terms and actually, on the surface, their relationships looked more traditional than the mindless rutting that passes for dating today.

The clients were usually 30-40, fit, well dressed, drove sports coupes and would even come pick them up with flowers in hand. All very respectable.

These were guys that had some sort of social standing and obligations to appear at swanky events, and you wouldn't want to go stag to those, but you also don't want to show up with someone random who you can't trust to behave appropriately.

So... what to do when you have more money than time? Rent a girlfriend who will wow your social circle. I have to admit it works really, really well. I took one of the girls to a charity ball and the other women there spent the evening trying to steal me from her. Everyone wants to know what the guy with the gorgeous, graceful date is hiding.

Normally I wouldn't go to these events so I wouldn't even be able to keep the attention of the type of woman that wants to go to them all the time. Having access to guys that do know how to party seems to play a big part in the appeal of these sugar relationships, from the woman's end. From the guy's end, well, it's like using sardines for bait.
 
I last time I saw a sex worker, after shortly hanging out and talking she was like "hey you ever smoked DMT?" (She was not from the psychedelic community at all that I know of and now how we met, had no inclination that i used psychedelics, was in a new city barely a week. Super weird) Being me, I was startled. I was like, uh yeah, she was like, want to try it again? I only did a low dose but it was so bizarre I've never done anything like that again (seeing an escort). I almost feel like i may have dirtier up my relationship with dmt. Even when you are sure this is a consenting individual, independent, high class, you are of the same socioeconomic class, and you respect their boundaries, sex without love or passion is empty and meaningless and unfulfilled. I am against porn or using sex workers but don't judge other men who do, and treat them well. In the 4 or 5 times I did it 3 different times I refused to have sex even though they were willing and just sort of gave them a massage, or to talk. I was thanked for it. Its just not for me. Even for normal casual sex, I get clingy. I cannot separate romance and sex. Only really found myself willing to try when yakked out of my gourd. I'm one of the few idiots who did have unprotected sex with sex workers as well.
 
Zephyn said:
I last time I saw a sex worker, after shortly hanging out and talking she was like "hey you ever smoked DMT?" (She was not from the psychedelic community at all that I know of and now how we met, had no inclination that i used psychedelics, was in a new city barely a week. Super weird) Being me, I was startled. I was like, uh yeah, she was like, want to try it again? I only did a low dose but it was so bizarre I've never done anything like that again (seeing an escort). I almost feel like i may have dirtier up my relationship with dmt. Even when you are sure this is a consenting individual, independent, high class, you are of the same socioeconomic class, and you respect their boundaries, sex without love or passion is empty and meaningless and unfulfilled. I am against porn or using sex workers but don't judge other men who do, and treat them well. In the 4 or 5 times I did it 3 different times I refused to have sex even though they were willing and just sort of gave them a massage, or to talk. I was thanked for it. Its just not for me. Even for normal casual sex, I get clingy. I cannot separate romance and sex. Only really found myself willing to try when yakked out of my gourd. I'm one of the few idiots who did have unprotected sex with sex workers as well.
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Oh, I love clingy. This post is a breath of fresh air to hear a man say sex without love or passion is empty and meaningless. I feel exactly the same way.
 
I have mixed feelings about sex work and lean against supporting it for a number of reasons. The main issue I have is human trafficking (sex slavery) but also a lot of sex workers would be doing something different if they weren't addicted to drugs. Furthermore, some of the girls were traumatized by a sexual assault at a young age and are now unconsciously reenacting the trauma. I read traumatized people who haven't been able to fully process and accept what happened to them, often return to the people, places, and things that caused the initial trauma.

I know of a girl who is a sex worker and seems to enjoy the work for the most part but I also realized she has the emotional maturity of a teenager. I get the feeling she is bouncing from man to man trying to please them in the same way she probably pleased some sex-abuser who raped her at a young age.

Which is another thing that bothers me about sex work. Just because the girls are adult age doesn't mean they have matured to the extent that would be considered normal. A lot of those girls are basically children in adult bodies.

However, under certain circumstances (consenting, mature adults) its probably not harmful and at times beneficial.

(minor edits/slightly better English)
 
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As a marxist feminist, I have to say that For me it all depends on the socio economic structure of the societie in which that person or persons live. If it is a highly patriarchal, low social mobility style Societies, then I would have to say that sex work is somehow a way to beat the system and move up Against overwhelming odds.

However, the problem comes in when Such work is Legalized. My only concern with that is that you now have a government overseeing sex workers. That is to say, the government may insist on certain things like a psychological exam or Regular STD testing... Which is a tricky thing, as this now puts your government more in charge of your body. I feel like that is one of my main concerns. If sex work is to be legalized, I also think that sex workers should have the social support that they need to do that work Safely. It's just a weird Gray area between supporting women who decide to do sex work and their safety versus having the government's Hands, even by trying to help these people be safe and healthy, Regulating that person's body and what they can do with It.

Personally I am not one who enjoys casual sex or sex for money. I like my sexual relations to be part of a larger relationship.Also I do not enjoy when power is a part of sex... And it seems to me that you cannot exchange sex for money without introducing power.



Any thoughts?
 
That’s an interesting perspective on the government’s involvement. I think public health is a natural and necessary responsibility for the government. As the present pandemic demonstrates, individual citizens don’t know how to respond or else respond ineffectively to major health crises.

The HIV epidemic cast a light on sex work. There were numerous incidents of people being infected by sex workers or by people who had themselves been infected by sex workers. In earlier time periods plenty of STD’s were deadly in the same way and were contracted by innocent people (eg subsequent partners of people who had sex with sex workers). Around the world these victims were primarily women, even for HIV.

A government requirement that all sex workers are routinely tested for STD’s and treated for them at state expense while they cannot work seems to be a very mild form of government intervention. Certainly much better than criminalisation and incarceration (where treatment may not be provided).

If STD transmission by sex workers was a common occurance then I imagine they would be even more stigmatised by society than they already are. Government testing and treatment reduces this possibility.
 
I am conflicted on my view of sex work. Traditionally, as someone who leaned damn near communist, I find much of the exchange a form of "class rape". Having been homeless and even done sex work myself on occasion, sometimes I enjoyed it (rarely) though usually it traumatized me. I've been on the other side too, only ever on hard core stimulants where I break my own moral code. I've had situations where I've paid 4x what they asked for their time, didn't have sex with them, offered them massages, or usually just talked. I usually try to suggest alternatives to thisnline of work, but many are happy with it.


All in all, its nothing I take part in anymore as I would find myself in danger or just uncomfortable as sex is sacred to me. I've had friends who were sex workers, and always have encouraged them to not do it due to it being so unregulated and so many psychopaths its not safe.

I find the criminalization and prosecution of sex workers themselves abhorrent.

Been tested a year after those occasions and thankfully clean as a whistle.

Andobviously, I was in a really low place when I even made those decisions, and don't involve myself with it at all anymore. If anything, I wish there existed benevolent organizations to help people move on from it if they don't want to be involved.
 
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From a harm reduction standpoint, regulating it and legalizing it would be the best approach. Not only would this go a long ways to stopping human trafficking, but it would also help to prevent STD spread. If it's illegal, it isn't regulated. At least, the regulation of it would probably be beneficial from a public health standpoint. However, there is undoubtedly something incredibly uncomfortable and off putting about the fakeness and transactional nature of it, even when it's under the absolute best of circumstances.

But legalizing it and regulating it would protect the safety of the sex workers themselves..... and also everyone else, due to the fact that regulating it would help to prevent the spread of STDs. Which is ultimately better for everyone, even if you have zero involvement with prostitution whatsoever. Still, I find the idea of paying for sex incredibly off putting and just doesn't seem right honestly. Though, saying something should be legal and agreeing with it are two different things. There is something seriously off putting about it to me, even in the absence of other issues.

Outright banning it just makes the entire issue 1000x worse though. Because we all know where it leads to simply ban things because they're off putting and don't seem right to most people, with no other reason. We end up in the same place we did with drug prohibition, which obviously has not helped ANYONE whatsoever. Just because I find it off putting has no bearing on whether or not the most logical course of action is to make it legal and regulated. Because people's lives are more important than not legalizing something because some people find it wrong or off putting.
 
Unless it's people who provide sex to disabled people, I think it's bad for everyone involved and society at large.
 
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I have no problem if one person shoots up fentanyl to other.
I have no problem if one person knocks out other in the ring.
I have no problem if one is person euthanized by other.

Only one requirement - consensual, with both parties being adults and understanding fully to what act they are consenting.

Regarding morals, I have nothing to say. To each his own. What is considered to be a "crime deserving death" in one culture (alcohol consumption and casual sex in Saudi Arabia) is "a good night out" or "evening in a pub" in another (USA or UK). On the flip coin, pill mill owners and pill dealers are imprisoned in USA, but in India it is a normal thing for pharmacies to sell opioids "over the counter". In both cases we are talking bout militarily allied states. So I would leave morals completely out of the picture when thinking about this kind of themes. Everybody has a moral code and it would be best if we all stick to it no matter the laws (if not contrary to the law). I mean millions of people watch and cheer when some UFC fighter is trying to damage and possibly kill another one. People pay, enjoy and cheer. Everybody applaud when some UFC fighter makes it from being poor African to world UFC champion. Nobody is talking from what place and what traumas is his motivation coming. So it is very hypocritical to look just part of the picture...

I thought this is going to be a short and condensed post, and it actually is kinda condensed.
 
I notice several people come up with ideas like legalizing prostitution and regulating it so prostitutes for instance have to get std tests.

But I never hear anything about how they expect that to work.

Like, when I was involved in sex work on a part time basis it was at the street level. I did it as needed to fund my heroin habit.

I wouldn't have had time to get tested to renew my license to do sex work.

So say I don't. What happens then if I'm caught?

You can't enforce this stuff without getting back into punishing the most vulnerable.

I find a lot of suggestions to be well intended but not very practical when you really start looking at it.
 
when i was prostituting myself it was the only way to make the amount of money i needed to support an extremely expensive drug habit.

i would never do it without that motivating factor.

i spoke to a psychologist who was of the opinion that in my case sex work was a continuation of the sexual abuse i had suffered. i'm not sure i agree with this but its important to note that the vast majority (>90% ) of people who sell their bodies are victims of sexual violence, so basically fucked up about sex.

if someone can do it wthout it having any negative psychological effects then more power to them.

there will always be a market for sex so we need as a society to accept that and work out how to meet that demand in the safest way possible for all parties involved.
 
assclass said:
There is a marketplace for sex and mates. Just because two contenting parties agree upon something doesn't mean that there is no impact on others.
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Everything we do has impact on other human beings. Imagine if every guy wanted to be MMA fighter and became one. How would that impact human race? This kind of "imagine what if" arguments are not something I feel capable of addressing. If everyone acted exactly like me I am sure that this place would not be a better one because other people see and know things that I don't. I just gave my opinions and for now I am sticking to it. Doesn't mean I could not change it if I see value in contra argument.
 
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