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The day I lost my innocence vs. I want my virginity back

Colonel Contin

Colonel Contin

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 10, 2014
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260
I figured I'd start a thread lamenting the loss of my innocence (lol). These stories have been exchanged here before, but I figured I'd invite any interested parties to jump in and share the tale of their squandered virginity as well.

Mine comes with a back-story:

I had just turned fifteen when I fell in love for the first time. She was tall (6'1) and silly. She was a year older than me and I thought she was so fucking cool. I couldn't believe she was into me... it made me feel attractive for the first time, and that was a pretty special feeling.

I had a pretty grim self-image about as far back as I could remember. I was quiet and overweight... too passive to defend myself when the 'cool' kids pinched my man-tits. The spring/summer before I met this girl I had dropped about 85 pounds and developed an attitude, but I guess I still wasn't too sure of myself.

When she looked at me I felt wanted. She smothered me with attention and worshiped the ground I walked on. My family loved her. We were going to get married.

Since we were destined to be together forever, there was no rush to hop in the sack. She was raised catholic and some of the doctrine must have rubbed off because she was determined to 'wait until marriage'. I played along, thinking "this kind of sucks and my friends all think I'm insane, but it's not a dealbreaker". We were together for almost 4 years. Attraction waned, and we eventually split up. Within a month she was pregnant with her new boyfriend's baby (I was like, 'what the fuck?'). I was still a virgin.

Her best friend from highschool had always been into me. I think she'd been sniffing around the sidelines waiting for this to happen. One night she came over and seduced me. It was a week before my 19th birthday and I deserved a present. Besides, I found her overwhelmingly attractive, so I didn't put up a fight (see, I never had any moralistic objection to having frivolous sex, I just wasn't the type to push it). I remember the panties she was wearing... neon green hip-huggers with horizontal pinstripes. I could smell her faintly when I took them off. We had careful missionary sex (with a condom) on the hideaway bed that folded out of the closet in my flat. It was pretty sterile, in retrospect, but I remember feeling so alive in that triumphant, mundane moment.

I became mildly obsessed with this girl, but she couldn't really be bothered to date me seriously. She trailed me along for a couple years, maintaining enough of a relationship with me to keep me around. I stayed in her bed most nights. When she was having sex with other guys, I slept on her couch. She eventually caved and gave me a half-hearted commitment, but ultimately that just meant she had to be more sneaky about fucking around. If I hadn't been so young and insecure I would have probably settled for FWBs, but I thought I could have her... and she claimed to love me. All in all, I think she had sex with 8 other people by the time we'd finished dating, but she always denied cheating. For the most part, I can rise above resentment, save, perhaps, one slimy trespass: She always made me feel like a square for wanting to use a condom... and here and there I would let it slide as to 'impress her with my daring'. I ended up with chlamydia.

What a shitbag.

Anyhow, I don't suppose I ever really treasured my virginity, but the memory couldn't have been less magical.

Anybody else?

Was everybody else's first time fairytalesque?
 
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To try to keep your thread going, I'll start. It was one summer vacation and involved intravenous cocaine. Cocaine and sex feels pretty good, and iv coke and sex is even better if you do it right. ... sorry i've got to go. I'll continue later....
 
I can't wait to post my story but I don't have time now and I need to post a question on another page. LOL This will be fun. Thanks for starting this one
 
Mine could't of been further from the term 'fairytalesque'. - Stoned, drunk, anxious and interrupted.

However with the first girl i really fell for, the circumstances did resemble something of a fairy-tale esque situation. She was a foreigner i met while abroad, we drank wine in the park.. had dinner on cobblestone streets lined with Victorian-era gas-lit lamp posts, passionate making out in the rain and surrounded by old world architecture.. typing this is making me laugh, because it sounds cliche' as fuck.. because it is and it's a fantasy that in no way resembles reality.

I personally think many people seek out their 'ideal' notion of a person, love, sex, relationship and force it to happen that way despite the painfully obvious, because we're so determined to believe the fantasy we're projecting.. even when its obvious that everything is very wrong. Your situation with that girl and her cheating on you, and your decision to sleep on the couch is a perfect example of this.. as is my story above.

That is until the illusion is shattered.. and you see the true nature of things. I think this is the point where people really come into themselves, and it can swing in the direction of extreme jadedness and hatred towards the opposite sex that may endure for a lifetime, or if there's enough self-awareness the individual can see that they were actually projecting onto that person.

I think everyone goes through this in one way or another, it's almost like the necessary trauma needed for you to grow as a person.
 
Colonel Contin said:
The IV or the sex? I'll be eagerly awaiting your conclusion
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The sex - specifically the climax is much more intense to the point where you can feel like you will black out. But the release part of it gets short circuited bc of the coke. I'll write about it later when I have time.
 
It was carefully planned out, we had been dating since the beginning of high school and how far we were wiling to go had progressed much like our high school careers. However as far as oral sex and sex that was no go until the winter of our senior year. She was hispanic, but appeared white, 5'2 black hair 94lbs and a real beauty, other guys were always hitting on her, but she was mine and I never worried cause they never had a shot. I mean for one I was smarter than them and beyond that I was more creative, I made her all sorts of mixtape and scrapbooks and bought her really unique stuff from all over the world as I traveled on almost ever break from school. She was brilliant, got into University of Chicago and Columbia. Ended up going to Mount Holyoke, but that's because she got a full ride and her mother squandered her college funds in the divorce. I didn't do that well in high school, I got in to Rollins College early decision; not that it's a bad school, but someone of my intellect from my family should've been a tad bit more ambitious. I was 150lbs with the wildest curly dark brown/almost black hair (I looked very Jewish, I'm not though) I was in great shape from Varsity Squash & Tennis. Glasses, we both wore them, me more than her.

She called one night over Christmas break our senior year, she was sick, very sick, she hadn't told me in order to protect me. Things weren't looking great, she had 18 months to 3 years left. I was devastated. She was profoundly devastated. Both her parents knew. Her mother was still behaving horribly. She wanted a peaceful home, her mother kept calling the cops claiming that her father had hit her. I know him well, he wouldn't lay a hand on a woman or child. Her life was crumbling around her. I guess I was the only stable thing. Her brother was avoiding their house as he was in college and could stay with friends on breaks and what not. She couldn't get a driver's license because of her health. We stepped up our relationship, one day during school we had back to back to back free periods. We got in my New SUV, it was large and clean, I drove it over to this parking garage that was mostly unused, parked at the back keep us in the shade and we climbed into the back, all the seats were down and I always kept a blankest in case someone went into shock during an accident. We undressed each other piece by piece and explored each other with our hands and mouths. I remember sliding my hand into her panties and slowly finding what made her either physically jumped or moan the most. I brought her to orgasm and she got down low and gave me a blow job, what was surprising was how quickly she went barely being able to get her mouth around me to having my dick down her throat. And so the more sexual adult part of our relationship started at 17. Winter turned to spring and graduation was a month or so away, senoritis was kicked in full for me. She was still working hard enough, but that was probably to offset paying attention to the goings-on at her house between her parents. One day we ditched school knowing my parents were gone for the day and went to my house. We went into my steam room and had our normal oral relations, afterwards sweating and wet we went to my room and dropped the towels and tried to figure sex out on my couch. It took a little finagling to make work, but soon we were enjoying our youthful right of passage. Before we knew it, I was done all over her chest. She had enjoyed herself and she wanted more so another condom came out of the package while she sucked me hard and we were at it again, but this time we both moved more like animals, trying to really fuck each other as opposed to the love we had been making. It ended after some time and we were tired. If there hadn't been some fear that my mother would come home early and walk in on us, we probably would've rolled into my bed and stayed there forever. We were both each others first time. That's a beautiful experience in many ways.

She eventually got sicker and sicker, seizures every day multiple times a day. She could feel them coming ten minutes ahead of time so she was able to go to college and pretend to be normal, in class if she felt one coming she'd go hide in the bathroom and seizure in a stall. The medicine the provided wasn't helping all that much. I though she was going to die. I was in Florida and she was in Massachusetts, I could do anything. I felt helpless. I'm sure she felt worse, especially after her mother stole all her valuables and sold them when she was at college seizing everyday.

Long story short they put her on an experimental treatment in early 2011 after she refused a risky experimental surgery (10% chance of success, 6% chance of being a vegetable, 84% chance of death, it also would have cost 100's of thousands of dollars). She's still on that treatment today, she doesn't seize anymore, she's been a teacher in an inner city for 2 years now and loves her job. We broke up in mid-2012 and I fell apart and have been in and out of treatment since. That's story of my first time and the girl it was with.
 
I think I killed the thread, my bad, I get intense and write more than needed, on the other hand now everyone can know a major part of my life story
 
ThePharmacist4925 said:
I think I killed the thread, my bad, I get intense and write more than needed, on the other hand now everyone can know a major part of my life story
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Thanks for sharing, you've done well. Your story almost gave me a boner, lol.

Anyhow, I doubt you killed the thread. You give yourself too much credit :).

People are just hesitant/slow to share their virginity stories. I'm guessing that some people feel like their deflowering was uneventful, some see the experience as private, some people don't have the time to unpack the event, some don't care, and the rest may eventually get around to sharing.
 
Mine was okay.

I was 18. My boyfriend was 18 or 19. We starting dating last year of high school and slept together first year of university. It was okay. A bit painful. I bled a bit. He was a good guy. I mean, we loved each other then. But we were each other's firsts for everything.

I'm not sure what else to say about it. It was fine. I don't regret it. I wasn't looking for anything special. Easier with someone I was comfortable with though.
 
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